Love Fool - Comments

I loved this! And I agree with cola frank. I love the analogy (I guess you could call it) with the way she eats and the similarity to how she lives her life. It was really well written and I felt bad for the both of them. Are you planning on leaving it as a one-shot or are you going to expand on it more?

Her relationship with food described her personality perfectly. She took what she wanted, when she wanted to have it. When she didn’t want it, it was left behind to be forgotten, stored away for another day when she wanted more. Just like him.

I love this part so much!

Okay, I love the rest of the story as well. I don't know if you meant to do this, but I feel like throughout the whole thing it goes back and forth from it describing how beautiful the girl is and how he wants to be with her and then going to how she's sort of heartless and it would never happen. I really like it because it shows the conflict that really happens in someone's head when they want someone but can't have them.

This was such a great one-shot. Something I'm sure a lot of people can definitely relate to. I love your descriptions of things. They're so unique and your writing flows really well. I think the ending is pretty inspirational. Like pixiewayro said, he sets himself free and that's what a lot of people need to do.

Great job!

I loved reading this! I feel so sorry for the dude, but I'm so glad that he basically sets himself free at the end! Wonderfully written, hun! Xx