While She Breathes - Comments

I love the back and forth POV switch between Riley and Luke. It's a really cool way to see the story. I didn't really realize until now how sweet Luke is. I really hope he can save Riley from herself.

@ nearly witches.
Thank you for your comment! It's so cool that you're taking a sound engineering class and that you're commenting on this because I for one, just write about music based on what it means to me without any prior knowledge whatsoever. So it's cool hearing about some professional opinions!

Also, do you listen to P!ATD? Cause I love 'Nearly Witches' :D

@ Airi.
Thanks! It's nice to see that you enjoyed it :)

I personally don't like electric music so it was fun putting conflicting thoughts into someone else's mind haha!

@ January Rose
Thank you so much for your comment! However, I don't Riley would be willing rather than she's more afraid and stuff. I hope you'll find out soon that Riley's more complicated than just being brave for sticking around!

But I'm so glad that you enjoy her character and you see something cool in her :D I hope you keep reading and commenting cause I love reading comments hehe!

This is really good so far. I love how all the characters are set up, especially the main protagonist. I love how she is so strong and willing to put up with all the crap that her boyfriend sends her way. But she has to know somewhere deep down that he is no good for her.
I really like the title -very unique - and the layout.
Great work on this so far and please update again soon!

This is really good so far. I love how all the characters are set up, especially the main protagonist. I love how she is so strong and willing to put up with all the crap that her boyfriend sends her way. But she has to know somewhere deep down that he is no good for her.
I really like the title -very unique - and the layout.
Great work on this so far and please update again soon!

This is really good so far. I love how all the characters are set up, especially the main protagonist. I love how she is so strong and willing to put up with all the crap that her boyfriend sends her way. But she has to know somewhere deep down that he is no good for her.
I really like the title -very unique - and the layout.
Great work on this so far and please update again soon!

Hello~ I'm here as a judge for Mibba's Music Month contest.

Firstly, I want to apologize with how long it took to get this comment out. Due to my work schedule and Mibba's recent slowness that always seems to hit when I try to do something (haha), it took me a little bit longer than usual to comment on the entries after our judging had concluded. So I do apologize for the lateness. ^.^

I've got to admit that the narrator of this story was quite humorous; it made the story fun to read. Dry and sarcastic humor is usually hit or miss. There's never an in-between with it; an author is either going to nail it or they're going to fail it. I think you nailed the dry humor very well in this story. It certainly had me laughing quite a lot throughout the story.

Before I go on, can I just say how much I love that you named Hatsune Miku in a story where "old school" music is illegal? She is quite literally the definition of music produced solely by technology so it was pretty funny to me that you named her in the story, and I'm a fan of Miku's as well. x)

With that said, I liked the basis behind this story. You showed very well how important music can be in our lives and what it does for us. Particularly the part of the narrator's inner monologue towards the end of the story about what he thought music was supposed to be.

This story was really a nice and fun read. I quite liked it. You did very well on the story.

Hello! I'm here as a judge for Mibba's Music Month contest!

Content

I adore the narrator. The way they talk just makes me think they'd be the sort of person I'd hang around with. It's kind of a silly little thing, but the dry humour he exhibits is right up my alley in terms of a voice for narration. It just makes everything flow so effortlessly and gives him this real 3D aspect to his character.

I also like the idea of music in the future being completely electronic. We were discussing this at university one day in my sound engineering class and it's honestly getting to the point where it's a possibility. The idea of 'old school' music being outlawed and the whole world you've created with this is pretty awesome. The addition of the possible blossom of romance kind of sets this story up to be really interesting. When I've next got time, I'm definitely going to pop back and read the rest of what's posted!

Concrit

I literally spotted one thing - he used to be a police doesn't make sense. It'd either be he used to be police or he used to be a police officer. I didn't see anything else though!

Overall

Interesting idea, wonderfully executed and with a wonderful character as narrator to top it all off. Lovely!