Aspiring - Comments

@ Lady Nikki Nightmare
Okay. Thank you! I will go back and fix these mistakes! And feel free to catch anymore and let me know. I don't want the mistakes to remain there!
I'm glad you liked Andrew and Tyler's rivalry. I worked really hard to figure out how to best introduce Tyler and I thought, hey why not give him a rivalry with someone! ;)

He was ready for a big let down let down should be one word

Slapping the blade of his goalie stick once against each goalpost, he lowered himself into his semicrouch and yelled, “Bring it on.” semicrouch should be two words.

he’d either snap the puck over on of their shoulders or cut hard on should be one.

Usually that meant a shooter was going to try to deke, rather than shoot, but Tyler, whose puckhandling wasn’t as nimble as Andrew’s, almost always shot. puckhandling should be two words.

He wound up for a slapshot. I think slapshot should be two words too.

We’d love for you to be apart of the team. apart should be a part lol another two worder.

run down should be one word.

That's all the mistakes I found. Most of those one/two word problems don't really bother anyone too much, so I think you did a good job writing this, and I love the rivalry between Andrew and Tyler you've set up.

@ Lady Nikki Nightmare
No, no you didn't come off as rude. I'm appreciate you speaking up and letting me know that it was difficult to read. I made sure to go back into the other stories as well and double check. If you don't mind me asking, can you let me know what grammar mistakes you found, so I can go ahead and fix them. That would be great! :) And thank you so much for reading and liking it! :D

It's much better, sorry if I came off as rude with the first comment. Sometimes I have trouble with those pesky layouts too. As for your chapter. It's really good. I only saw like 3 grammar minor mistakes which is great! I love the way you describe the shoot out between Andrew and Tyler. I feel like I can almost see the way they move the puck and it offered a lot of excitement. I look forward to seeing what else you do with this.

@ Lady Nikki Nightmare
Sorry about that. I'm still trying to learn about the layouts....thank you for letting me know about this. I fixed that issue, and I hope it works better! :)

I didn't actually read your chapter because the layout bothers me. I think you should fix it so the words can be seen better. Maybe a slightly transparent black background for the content or something of that nature would help you? I adore your title though. If you let me know when the layout gets fixed I'll be happy to give you my thoughts on the chapter.