Her Monologue - Comments

This was a good ending, I can't wait to see what happens next.

Oh my god! I can't wait to see her return and Jax see her. I can't wait for the Sequel to start honey This was amazing!!!

OMG OMG NO you can't end it like that!!!! WHENS THE SEQUEL COMING UP! I need it now I need it now!!! I need to know what happens ugh

No! This can't be coming to an end! I'm lucky I got three updates in one! I loved it so much!!!!! Update soon!

Oh no! Their back just as her car is finished. I just wondering if she's really going to leave. Right now it seems so, but I don't think she will once she gets to going. I think she has began to develop feelings for Jax.

I really can't wait to see more of this honey. Update when you can!!!

Holy cow! They fucked?! Oh my goodness I love this. I had no idea you'd updated either! Grr. I can't wait to see this pan out more.

Comment swap! (better late than never?): First things first; love the title and your layout is readable and I like that in a story. Sometimes the layout distracts me so much, but yours is interesting without being annoying.

Well I like the way you start this off as a move. What better way to introduce your character with a bunch of other people, if she is moving to a new place. I do feel that she tells the story about her past very easily. I'd love to see some more emotion if you mean to make it hard on her. If not, then its just fine the way it is.

Another little feedback: when people speak, I personnally like to push the enter on my keyboard. putting text on a new line just makes it more organized to read. (Does make you chapters way longer, so thats why I said 'Personally')

I loved this line: Well, I guess this is growing up, I thought to myself looking at the house that filled my whole being with hatred and fear

Overall keep going, I really do liked it!

I really like the summary. It's very interesting and makes me want to read more. I it starts off very interesting and I like how you did the backstory of the main character. I really feel sorry for her, and I hope good things happen to her because I'm a dreadful optimistic person at times.

I like how you introduced the Sons in there. It's very interesting, granted that II'm just talking about the point in chapter three. I really like Mia. And I really like the story you have going on with this, and I think it's amazing. I'm gonna continue reading.

@ Lady Nikki Nightmare

Thank you I fixed the errors. I appreciate the feedback :D

So in chapter 3: 'The little needle on the dashboard was on the H' I think I'd put a '.' or a comma behind that if I were writing this. and 'I saw the town come into few.' I think you mean view. Best line ever, 'We have a way to take care of things if they're crazy, a 45mm to the head.' :) I love that. And instead of saying softly so much trying using whispered or just leaving the softly off all together. It gets a little annoying when you say it for everyone who is talking, you know?

Chapter Four: '...and tried to remember what the towns name was" that should be town's since the name belongs to the town. I like this chapter for some reason. I like how Jesse keeps switching from being shy/afraid to being outspoken and kind of crazy. And I love that she has to stop and think about dinner with Jax being a date. But seriously, I've never seen this show so Mia's reaction to Charming has me sitting on the edge of my seat.

I'll come back and read chapters five & six when I finish my candy bowl comments. And I'm subbing now too :)

I have never watched the Sons of Anarchy. (Please, don't shoot me...) But this is really good. I like Jesse's personality. I love Mia's questioning in the first chapter. I only read the first two chapter, but I think this is going to be a great fan fiction... I just feel bad that I'm not apart of the fandom here.

Oh criticism wise, I don't really have any complaints about this story. I didn't find any grammar things. But I do like this story.:)

Hey!

The story is really very amazing. I simply love your summary! But it seems to have a lot of punctuation problem. If you want me to, I could point them out. (:

OMG Jess has such a horrific past...I don't even know what to say about this. But again, chap 1 has a few punctuation problems.

I really like your writing style, and the story is gripping. There are a few minor mistakes, but that should be alright. The story kinda covers it up! And btw...the layout is gorgeous! I'm definitely recc'ing and sub'ing. I don't think this is a usual kind of story, but lately, we have a lot of interesting stuff on here.

Sorry about the ramble. I've read up to chap 3 but I will read further and give you stronger feedback! Till then, keep updating! Your writing is wonderful.

“--I’m on my way I’ll bring the cops"

That is truly a best friend. HA!

This was seriously amazing! I love how he just blew off about his hobbies. And Mia's advice, and the whole "killing thing" in her statement. Amazing job honey I can't wait for more!

Oh em gee! I got an email for this and I squealed. Two updates in one day!? Thanks for the S/O in the bottom thing. I loved it I love Mia's reaction lol. I can't wait for the next update <3

@ White Line Fever;
Yes that is I posted the link to the story there a while back thanks for asking me :D

I really like this story. I found it on Tumblr. Is this http://jedisithhappens.tumblr.com/ you?

@ White Line Fever;
No way! Thats so sweet!

@ Jackson Teller;

Aw thanks girlie :D

Oh my god! I love this story! I created an account just for this story!

I'd be pissed too! I loved this update. I really can't wait to see what goes down in the next update!