March 23rd, 2017 at 12:15pm
Mal de Mere - Comments
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Amazing story! I loved the way it was written, it was very well done!March 22nd, 2017 at 04:36am
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@ discoveringclouds
Wow its so nice to read a comment for this story again. I haven't had one in such a long time! I'm so glad you liked it!June 25th, 2016 at 11:18pm -
That was a shocking twist! I never expected him to connect with her because of his own lack of hearing!! That was so good.June 25th, 2016 at 10:52pm
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@ Alex Moore.
You're welcome. I wouldn't know either. I was thinking since it was a short story that it could be published in a paper or something?September 11th, 2015 at 12:39am -
@ shelbyvengeance
Thank you so much, I loved making that layout. Actually the artwork inspired the story. I'm so glad you feel these characters are not the typical characters, I try that with all my stories, but getting it right is such a good feeling.
I have not thought of publishing, I would not even know how I would get that to happen...September 10th, 2015 at 04:03pm -
First I wanted to say that the layout goes perfectly with the story. As for the story itself, I didn't catch any mistakes. I loved how you described everything from both of their POV. I love how it all seemed to flow together and also how the characters weren't your average characters you would see in stories. I thought it was pretty unique. Have you thought about maybe getting it published in a book or something?September 9th, 2015 at 05:25am
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@ Xiaholic
Your comment left me breathless. I'm not sure what to say. Thank you so much for your amazing words and I can't believe how well you understand the story!
@ ZackyEffingVengeance
Sorry for my late reply, but your words are very kind none the less! I'm going to try write more two shots for I believe I'm stronger in little stories. Thanks againAugust 16th, 2015 at 09:45am -
What a marvellous piece!
I simply adore that you've taken on more unusual characters and settings here: a deaf man, focus upon sailors and the sea, and of course the mysterious sirens.
Your use of description and the way in which you slowly allow us his name among other details is just sublime.
My favourite words were these: A deaf man obsessed with a sound; a sound made by a deadly siren.
It's such a fantastic play on words and defies logic which makes it even more magical and enchanting.
The ending leaves us hopeful yet mystified - is it her?
This story shows how powerful love can be in its innocence and purest form - two beings a world apart meet and, despite being taught to be fearful or brutal of or towards one another, they listen to their hearts rather than what they've been told or shown by their own kind.
It's so beautiful and I love that you explained everything so well, even as to how Maris' mother died. Maris longs for her mother's advice when she meets this man who seems pure, but the men took that away from her. Gaspard longs for more time with Maris to get to know more about and understand her, but the men took that away from him.
Although the men are shone in an evil light in this story, the story also takes special consideration into showing us that it's because they do not understand or know much about the sirens: they have only based their actions on word of mouth. Gaspard is an especially powerful character here because he cannot hear; he believes in his own judgement which is something so inspiring to read.
Lastly, I adored the layout and think that it matches the mysterious, ocean-related vibe that the story gives. Brilliant!August 16th, 2015 at 02:26am -
This is fantastic! I've heard of the legend of the sirens before, but never read any creative writing based around it. This little two-shot reminds me a lot of the Odyssey, in the way it's written and the subject matter, of course. Your descriptions are so vivid; I could almost see the events unfolding like a little movie.
And your layout is just gorgeous.May 2nd, 2015 at 11:21pm -
@ The Alpha's Angel
Thank you so much for this lovely comment. You are so great for doing this! The comment give away is great and I wish I had the time, but I think I'll go about and just surprise random people with a comment on their story. Again thanks for the lovely feedback and apparently that mibba glitch did not produce more than one comment!March 7th, 2015 at 01:29pm -
This is written beautifully, and the flow of it all is great... the story is unique and the manner in which you have written it keeps the reader engrossed... The imagery was amazing and I didn't come across aby mistakes which made me stop reading. I loved it :)March 7th, 2015 at 11:09am
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@ PhenoBarbiDoll
I'm so glad you liked it. Yeah I can be a happy ending kind of girl and indeed, him hearing her heartbeat again, it is something that definitely creates hope!March 6th, 2015 at 10:17pm -
Okay, I finally got around to reading this (sorry it took so long!) As with everything I've read by you, I loved it. The writing was amazing, very descriptive and smooth flowing. It had me hooked from the very first sentence. It was a beautiful, if brief, tale. I was hoping for a happy ending--I'm cheesy, what can I say?--and you didn't exactly rip my dreams away. He didn't find her that day, and he's feeling like he never will, but who says it won't happen? Leaving it open-ended enables me to pretend that one day, he does find her.
I applaud you on this. Wonderful concept, perfect execution. <3March 6th, 2015 at 10:03pm -
@ mothra
Thanks for this, its amazing to read all these great comments! I am now thinking of a two-shot in a western style. I just need a good plot idea but its not yet coming to me.
@ Apology
You are just amazing thanks!March 1st, 2015 at 06:09pm -
This is written so eloquently. There wasn't a moment where I was pulled out of the story by any of your words, they flow so fluently into one another, which is rare when you're reading actual published fiction, let alone a story on Mibba. And the concept is beautiful. Absolutely beautiful and executed amazingly. Good job! And thanks for the comment on my story, I really appreciate it.March 1st, 2015 at 05:53pm
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@ Alex Moore.
You didn't even have to tell me, as soon as I finished 'Mal de Mere' I went to your page lol (this is not a drill, that two shot had me reeling it was so good) and I've already set myself up to devour 'Underestimate Me' (you'll be hearing from me soon ;) )March 1st, 2015 at 01:12am -
This is an amazing comment. Thank you so much. This will remain a two shot for the time being. but if you like my writing: check out my cowrites. the links are in my signature and shorter stories are also in the making!- Apology:
- Oh my God! This was so well written, I will cry lol
This was also a interesting concept that you had going, I would love to read more if you made this into a series! And the way you ended it!! I'm done with your shit already haha
Thank you for writing though :)
March 1st, 2015 at 12:10am -
Oh my God! This was so well written, I will cry lol
This was also a interesting concept that you had going, I would love to read more if you made this into a series! And the way you ended it!! I'm done with your shit already haha
Thank you for writing though :)February 28th, 2015 at 08:29pm -
@ Goddess of Floyd
Thank you so much for the praise! I loved reading it. I'm sorry, but his name is Gaspard, Jean is his help, the man he is talking to. Its an honest mistake, and if it is not apparent in the story, tell me so I can change it..February 28th, 2015 at 02:23pm
Is this you Faith?! Thanks for your comment! Can you send me a link to one of your stories?