I definitely liked the style and time you decided to write this about. I felt like you stayed true to the tone, for sure.
The line stood out to me, “Her posture was beautiful. . .” mainly because I’ve never read a story with such meaning to a simple line.
I liked that you created a marveling backstory for your characters without being an info dump. The amount of information you provided was balanced and flowed nicely. In chapter two, we read more about Zheng’s character. You peeled more layers of his alluring character, and I love that. In this chapter, we also read about Lian’s badass personality. I just love her when she said, “I may be a woman, but you have forgotten that I have blood on the innocent on my hands as well, dear husband,” because she’s speaking with grace but her words are like venom. Definitely loved Lian’s character from the start.
I mentioned this before but all your sentences are powerful on their own. This line is a killer, “Be wary to which neck you hold your blade. . .” because this just impacts us and pretty much impeccable.
Again, Lian’s character is outstanding and fully independent, and I just adore her. Including the scene where she stood up for herself to her father was a nice touch to polish her personality more. I felt so sad when I read about the fate of her parents. I wasn’t suspicious of Zheng until Xiao said something...hmm DID COMMANDER HANDSOME DO SOMETHING
That threat what the He’s guilty
I think chapter five has to be my favorite chapter. It has everything I enjoy: mystery, an on-going investigation and a nice brother-sister bond. You combined so many wonderful, dimensional properties into this outstanding chapter! Alos, we get another insight on Zheng that can potentially expose him as the killer. I would have never thought Kwan would come between L & Z, btw BUT IT MAKES SENSE!
No, ZHENG, YOU WILL NOT GO AFTER KAWN NO NO NO NO
The start of chapter seven. . . I was so happy Kwan wasn’t dead I’m team kwan right now
OKAY. Zheng is a crazy mf. We all know that. But I have to say that the parts of him with Lian being all cute and shit made me go awwwWWWW
nope I take it back ZHENG IS INSANE AGAIN *taking back my aw*
YES LIAN WAS THE ONE WHO KILLED HIS MEN I DIDN’T EVEN THINK OF HER WHY DIDN’T THAT COME TO MY MIND????
“Do I love you?” damn this, i love it. She was one step ahead of him THIS WHOLE TIME
There’s a lot of things I enjoyed about your entry. First, I liked the amount of detail you put into your scenes. You make every scene particularly unique in its own way with such beautifully structured sentences. In the first chapter, you painted a spectacular event. I especially liked the moment they were dancing with their swords. That scene itself was breathtaking. Second, I love the way you take your time developing your character’s personalities. In chapter two and three, it’s obvious, through the details, that you’re not rushing the plot. Therefore, the pace is organized and smooth. Third, you play around with the genre mystery effortlessly. From the beginning of chapter four and five, I just knew something was up. You had me suspicious of Zheng for the longest time. And lastly, the lowkey suspense you included is phenomenal; Zheng going out after Kwan (looking @ you chapter six / seven) made me get up from my seat. The twist at the end made me gasp. Truly loved what you did with the rhyme as you made it your own! Wonderful job!
The line stood out to me, “Her posture was beautiful. . .” mainly because I’ve never read a story with such meaning to a simple line.
I liked that you created a marveling backstory for your characters without being an info dump. The amount of information you provided was balanced and flowed nicely. In chapter two, we read more about Zheng’s character. You peeled more layers of his alluring character, and I love that. In this chapter, we also read about Lian’s badass personality. I just love her when she said, “I may be a woman, but you have forgotten that I have blood on the innocent on my hands as well, dear husband,” because she’s speaking with grace but her words are like venom. Definitely loved Lian’s character from the start.
I mentioned this before but all your sentences are powerful on their own. This line is a killer, “Be wary to which neck you hold your blade. . .” because this just impacts us and pretty much impeccable.
Again, Lian’s character is outstanding and fully independent, and I just adore her. Including the scene where she stood up for herself to her father was a nice touch to polish her personality more. I felt so sad when I read about the fate of her parents. I wasn’t suspicious of Zheng until Xiao said something...hmm DID COMMANDER HANDSOME DO SOMETHING
That threat
He’s guilty
I think chapter five has to be my favorite chapter. It has everything I enjoy: mystery, an on-going investigation and a nice brother-sister bond. You combined so many wonderful, dimensional properties into this outstanding chapter! Alos, we get another insight on Zheng that can potentially expose him as the killer. I would have never thought Kwan would come between L & Z, btw
No, ZHENG, YOU WILL NOT GO AFTER KAWN
NO NO NO
NO
The start of chapter seven. . . I was so happy Kwan wasn’t dead
I’m team kwan right now
OKAY. Zheng is a crazy mf. We all know that. But I have to say that the parts of him with Lian being all cute and shit made me go awwwWWWW
nope
I take it back
ZHENG IS INSANE AGAIN
*taking back my aw*
YES
LIAN WAS THE ONE WHO KILLED HIS MEN
I DIDN’T EVEN THINK OF HER
WHY DIDN’T THAT COME TO MY MIND????
“Do I love you?” damn this, i love it. She was one step ahead of him THIS WHOLE TIME
There’s a lot of things I enjoyed about your entry. First, I liked the amount of detail you put into your scenes. You make every scene particularly unique in its own way with such beautifully structured sentences. In the first chapter, you painted a spectacular event. I especially liked the moment they were dancing with their swords. That scene itself was breathtaking. Second, I love the way you take your time developing your character’s personalities. In chapter two and three, it’s obvious, through the details, that you’re not rushing the plot. Therefore, the pace is organized and smooth. Third, you play around with the genre mystery effortlessly. From the beginning of chapter four and five, I just knew something was up. You had me suspicious of Zheng for the longest time. And lastly, the lowkey suspense you included is phenomenal; Zheng going out after Kwan (looking @ you chapter six / seven) made me get up from my seat. The twist at the end made me gasp. Truly loved what you did with the rhyme as you made it your own! Wonderful job!
ps: write the epilogue