The first thing I really liked about this was the namelessness of the characters. How you simply referred to them as 'he' and 'she'. I feel like, although the inspiration was a song, this focused a lot on the human body and I really like that it was the overall theme of this short piece. It was a very strategic move and also well executed because although you used bodies and the different parts of it, there was clearly a message being transmitted through that. I specifically like the line: "wishing that their limbs were stuck in sinking sand below them" It was very powerful and it also ties into the first line of this. I think drabble's can be hit or miss since they're so short but you did a good job at being concise yet emotive.
I'm in the midst of reading/judging, so expect a PM from me soon!