Lost Lake - Comments

Well this was nice and creepy.

I liked that you started and ended the story with one word, it really hooked me in at the beginning and then, in a way left questions at the end, but also ended it in a really cool way.

The fact that it was his wife added a whole other layer filled with questions to the story. What happened to her? What did he do? Ahhh, I just want to know. I really appreciated the descriptions you had as well, you picked certain things to describe while you left other things to the imagination which worked well.

The was just a couple things I noticed. The first is that sometimes it felt choppy to read because of the way you structure your sentences. They're all almost the same length and you use a lot of commas, which can make them feel very monotonous. The second is that you tend to repeat the same words a lot (especially angel, in this case), and that can get a little bit monotonous as well.

Overall though, I really liked the direction you went with this. Great job!

Fog. I LOVED THE ONE WORDED HOOK. It grabbed me in so quickly....And then he was grabbed by the angel Can I just say how much I envy your description writing skills???! It's so clean and smooth and I just love the way you worded everything. While reading this, I just thought of the possible things the angle could symbolize to him.

HIS WIFE O M G

Loved the ending. You kept the pace and the story's dark atmosphere consistent. Great job!

The layout is nice, it gives out sort of an off-handed feeling. It makes me feel somewhat sad, but also a bit braced for horror (the banner gives off that vibe with the weeds and old sign. Especially the name of the lake/title)

I like the lyrics, too.



I'm really liking the beginning. It is nicely detailed.

allowed him to breath
^ breathe

I got a chill as I read on. I was a bit surprised to discover that the angel was his worst nightmare. At first, I believed she was attempting to help him, but to torment him, wow.

You detailed this nicely and transitioned it well. I have a love for darker/sadder ending, so I love this. It makes me wonder what promises were broken and what led them each there.

This is written perfectly. Wonderful job!