Dick Dock - Comments

Your title and the font you chose for it had me in tears because I just couldn’t stop grinning at it I noticed with your style of writing that it’s very smooth–readers don’t have trouble keeping up with your stories’ paces. And no surprise here, I can say the same thing goes for this story. I zipped pass the chapter because I couldn’t stop myself from taking some kind of break. I liked that about Dick Dock. It was just my cup of tea. You made it so light, endearing and so sweet while topping it all off with a comedic layer. To add on to your writing style, I think it suits this particular plot perfectly.

Liam is by far one of my favorite characters I’ve ever read about on Mibba. You brought this character to life when writing about his thoughts–they really matched his attitude and were without a doubt hilarious. You wrote about teenagers in a way that was realistic, and I loved that because I noticed that it’s difficult for me to keep the attitude for a teenager consistent while sounding real. You did this effortlessly.

Relating to the contest itself, I think you incorporated the concept of a crush perfectly. You didn’t work around the word crush but you worked with it. From how Liam thinks and the way he views things, I can just feel his emotions about Hallie. My favorite line he said was, “...I get really fucking smiley and shit when we hang,” because it’s bound to make the readers smile. Plus Liam is being nonchalant about it

Some things I absolutely loved include: The hook. Because it aimlessly pulled in the readers to continue reading. The comedy. Because we need more stories like this on here. And I liked how light (repeating myself oh) you made it. The relationship. I just loved how they interacted with each other. Lovely entry, can’t wait to read the sequel

This is hilarious. I love it. So much.
Short and sweet, and very witty.
To throw in some con-crit, I feel like Hallie wasn't as fleshed out as she maybe could be (but I'm also not sure if you're going to write more chapters? If so, just ignore this and do your thing), but you totally make up for it with Liam. Your stream-of-consciousness style lets us delve so deeply into his personality and thoughts. He's just a laidback guy with a crush, it's very cute. Great job.

First of all, can we just talk about the title.

I really loved the narration through this whole story. It felt very casual and exactly how I would imagine Liam would be talking, or thinking to himself. I felt like it made the story flow really nicely because it seemed to fit the character so well. I was also a fan of the fact that I didn't look at the character gifs right away, but I felt like they fit the characters super well.

I just love the direction you took with this. I felt like it could have gone a few different ways, but the gay man not being as gay as he thought was definitely a unique way to go and I loved it.

Great job!

LMFAO THE SUMMARY
also this layout is so beautiful, I cry

Ahh! I'm in love with the gifs that you used!

Is it just me or does this have the potential of being very smutty?

Can't wait to read it.