When the Savior Is Damned - Comments

Such a beautiful story, I really loved it.
Though it almost made me cry.

I'm left to wonder if its bad to be like that?
Is it wrong? Or unhealthy? Or just plain mad?
This story was amazing, Ich liebe es!

x Anjie

Isa-less! <3
Do I even have to say how much this story can spell "A-W-E-S-O-M-E"? By even first look at it, I am already amazed. I cried at the last Chapter, to tell you. I truly did not want this story to end. Have you ever considered at least...a sequel?

awesome story

awesome story

Wow, that was utterly fantastic. I haven't read a MCR story on here that hasn't involved pairings and to be honest the only pairing i enjoy is frerard but there was just something about your story and the writing that changed my view completely.
The love shared between the brothers was stronger than any relationship and i doubt could have been conveyed by lovers alone, you've made me appreciate their unique relationship and from this story led me into hopefully reading more stories that centre around them.

I throughougly enjoyed the way you evolved Mikey's character as i never usually read any fiction centred around him, you've opened my eyes a bit and changed my point of view on my reading choices which is the biggest compliment i can muster!

The writing reduced me to tears and i particularly enjoyed chapter 5 with the list of oxymorons about Gerard's character, i loved the use of parallel sentences and thought that the continued theme of it was a genious idea.
I particularly adored this paragraph which to me was so memorable and conveyed the complexity of their relationship:
"Gerard, who once hit Mikey in the face and shattered his glasses after a particularly bad day and countless bottles of booze; and Gerard, who broke down in front of his little brother the morning after, and even with the terrible hangover, managed to hug Mikey to his chest and whimper, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry,” and promised to never lose control like that again."

"Because after going through those five days in the hospital, it removed all doubts about if he’d be able to live without Gerard. The answer was that he couldn’t, wouldn’t, shouldn’t...
...they were opposites in some ways, but in all ways they were brothers, they were flesh and blood, and nothing goes deeper than that."
^ Those lines were just completely perfect, i can't begin to analyse or explain myself and for that i apologise but i adored them.

"because all he wanted to be was just like Gerard, who seemed so broken but at the same time so whole."
^ I enjoyed that line and also the way Mikey is both trying to protect Gerard and looking up to him as some sort of hero, imperfect perfection. It also struck me as something so true "so broken but at the same time so whole", something i never could have articulated but immediated agreed with upon hearing.

"Because for all the things the world thought Gerard Way was trying to say, it was just this: that for anyone to be the savior of the broken, the beaten, and the damned, he has to be all those things himself. "
^ the last chapter especially was extremely poignant and i'm impressed with how a chapter so short can say everything that is needed to be said. I loved the above line because i think you've summed up Gerard's character so perfectly and articulated a complexity i could never explain myself as he is all of those things, all of the things he tries to protect us against.

The ending was fantastic, as sad i am to see that it's ended- i'm choosing to believe that Gerard didn't commit suicide as that would upset me so much, i like the open-endedness.

I congratulate and thank you on an amazing story and am awe-struck and impressed on how such a short story can feel as complete and brilliant as an extremely long one. I apologise if i've rambled too much or haven't made much sense

Wow, great job. That was really moving and meaningful. This is one of those stories that's really going to leave me thinking about it for days afterwards.

I don't think I ever read this story and wanted to give it a try. :D

I read the first two chapter and loved every minute of it.
It was beyond the makeup, the pale powder white as death, or the red or black shadow that encircles his eyes, making him appear a demon, or a ghost; immortal beings he idolized because of their invincibility, their hardness, their cruel beauty. Best line I think. The emotion was clear and I felt everything I really felt it when he was in the ambulance the way you described it was great. Overall I liked what I read.

D:
D8
I mean, really...*jaw drops*
That was beautiful. Really beautiful. Very insightful and realistic and...you know, I'm not nearly as good at commenting as you are. I was going to comment after the first chapter, but I just couldn't stop reading it...not for the five seconds it would've taken to do so. I don't think I've done so much deep thinking since I tried to put the first chatper of Echo into words and failed miserably (It's not nearly as beautiful as I pictured it in my head, but I tried.). Anyway, know that I loved your story and you'll understand.

That was so beautifully written. I'm pretty sure that was the best story I've ever read on this whole site.

Wow... this was amazing. I love it. <3

I'll be really honest here.
I wish I could offer you my interpretation, but I have only read chapter 11 {because of your post in the story/review game}.
I will offer you some criticism instead.

After reading this I feel the need to praise your choice of words which really captivated my mind. I would've really enjoyed it, if it hadnt been for the needless emphasizing on your part.
I'm refering to the third paragraph.
It was beyond his passion, his love and his fervor for what he thinks is his purpose, his mission, his cause; his drive and determination to do anything, absolutely anything, to make better everything that seems so wrong.
"His purpose, his mission, his cause; his drive and determination" is too much. Two or three of those would've done the trick, but a sentence so crowded only seems like a listing of words; and as much as that listing makes sense it ruins the feeling of the story. I'd say you'd been dramatizing a little too much.
I like the concept of the 11th chapter, but the whole chapter's so..full of drama. You could've made your point without being repetitive. This way the idea seems exaggerated.
Also, I didn't like the ending - the last sentence. You should've rephrased it to something less plain. After so much drama-packed sentences, the last one seemed like an outcast, so to speak.
I must admit the second paragraph amazed me.
It was beyond the anthems he sings that prompts a crowd to cheer or scream, or brings them to their knees in amazement and adoration, or moves them to laughter or tears; the way he surrounds himself with people more broken than him so he wouldn’t be so alone.
I think that's the only paragraph in the epilogue where the balance between pointless drama and interesting concept hadn't been disrupted.

I actually think you have the potential, but need to work on your style more. You could create an abstract and fascinating imagery if only you wouldn't try so hard.
All in all, with more experience you'll get better. 'Cause it seems to me, you can do so much more.

That's part of the point. Open ended = open to interpretation. :mrgreen:

That was beautiful, it really was.

...but is the story really over..? No one knows what happens to Gerard.

Hey. Awesome story !

You are a fantastic writer.

Sad to see this end though; but I hope you don't do a sequel or anything. Not that I wouldn't like it, but I love how you ended this story.

It doesn't need a sequel.

It's beautiful on it's own.

Update, please? Please..?

Do you happen to read the Artemis Fowl series, by the way..? x)

Hey.

This is a really well written story. Although, somestimes I find some paragraphs to be over-descriptive, causing me to loose interest; as well as some sentences seem to run on. But whatever. This is good, with a good plot as well. I hope you write more soon.

Congratulations on winning the story competition, by the way.

I atrted to hyperventilate when I first saw the video for WTTBP. If I ever met them, I'd probably have an asthma attack. I'm only half-joking.

Thank God Belinda didn't hear what Gerard was saying. Or did she..?

Chapter ten of When the Savior is Damned has a better quality then the rest, and I like that. It's sweet, especially the name compliment.

I was hoping to give people that impression of Belinda: a real earnest, true fan who was just glad to have finally met them. I didn't want people to think she was a teenie. Yeah, I kinda modeled her reaction to how I think I would be if I ever meet them. :) Thanls for the comment. It's well appreciated.