December 17th, 2017 at 03:55am
This is so interesting! I love how you set up chapter three with the first two! We get a sense of his mind without even really meeting him yet. I love how we just pick up in a bar with him staring at some gorgeous stranger. And the last line in chapter three is really great. He was the sun and I found myself pulled into his orbit. Yep, just really like that a lot! I can't wait to see how they interact with each other. I can't wait to see the suit-guy's personality. :D
(one small thing though cause y'know me: it's = it is and its = possessive).
It's like breaking to be put back together again.
Again, such masterful description of such a casual, every day scene. One a great many of us have been in, have felt, and you capture it all to a T.
You, my friend, have true talent.
If I may, this freaking line: " If you respect it enough that it becomes pleasant, at the end of the day you're only human, so if you make a mistake or do something embarrassing, it doesn't matter. Life is wonderful when you really start to live it." just did me in. That entire chapter did me in, but I choked reading it.
If I wasn't invested before, I am now. This story is truly a work of emotional art.