I like the update. That's okay, Luv. I know finals suck. there weren't as many mistakes though. Not many changes from the notebook version (because, yes, I did read the chapter then ^_^).
Otay, so I’m writing these comments as I go through the chapter, so I have a feeling some of these might be answered while I read, but I will post them anyway. FOR YOUR ENJOYMENT!!!!
1) Are Alyssa and Gerard playing a Houdini after their touchy-feely moment?
2) Now, just HOW fast is Mikey over the speed limit? Not that it’s important, or anything. I’m just curious.
3) Oooh… spooky… silence… *wiggles fingers in a sarcastic attempt to be scary without a black-light and her Hunch gloves*
4) Y’know, Mikey’s right. They really should be more worried about Gerard than Alyssa.
5) So, why is Mikey going to get killed later? What’d he do?
6) I think you’re looking for “deathly” not “deafly”. Deafly just doesn’t look right.
7) Yes, ‘cause an umbrella is just SO SCARY…
8) I agree with Gerard’s umbrella comment. And, yes, Ivy, that is the one and only time you will ever read/hear/see me agree with Gerard, fictional Gerard, or real Gerard.
9) Yes, Gerard. Be afraid. Be very afraid. Be extremely afraid of your fourteen year old, fictional daughter that’s better at composing songs in non-reality.
10) OH! So THAT’s why Mikey’s screwed.
11) Alrighty then. So, who’s screwed more? Gerard, or Mikey? Please let it be Gerard. I don’t like him. And I like Mikey very much.
12) *Sigh* Damien forgot to steal the sugary substances, didn’t he. I swear, I get sick, and the chore of stealing your sugar just totally diminishes in importance in that boy’s agenda… *Fades into incomprehensible muttering*
13) *Sigh* you can join me in the loverly time of having a cache of falling grades…
14) WELL, GEE! It’s about DANG time you stopped plagiarizing me! You spelled plagiarizing wrong, by the by. *Ducks and covers*
Lol, Ivy. Was that why you asked me about that at lunch? 'Cause then it makes sense. I thought you were just random.
ANYWHOO!!!
I thought the addition to the chapter was good, but you need to check your Italicizes. You screwed up for a good ten paragraphs. But I liked the funeral description.
mikey... but can you please update more? <3
~nyaa....