The Chronicles of City Lights and Modern Love - Comments

Ooooo I looove it!
Hope you update more soon!
:]]
*runs off to subscribe*

This storie rocks. Keep up the excellent work please and thank you.

Love the last couple of chapters! So glad I subscribed!!!

Good update, it's getting pretty interesting : )

part of the mafia!!! woooo
Exciting haha

This is a great story. I'm gad you havn't taken the mainstream vampire approach. Love the idea of the mafia, I think they have so much mystery and romance surrounding them. And violence. Which is always good for a story.

You wanted feedback, which I applaud, because it means you want to get better at writing. Same here.

I think what I would say is that sometimes your sentences get quite choppy. You say one thing, you move onto the next. Like this:
My father was puertorican. He grew up in Brazil with his father. They moved here when he was 17.

Try to link sentences more, and your writing will flow better. For example:

My father grew up in Brazil with his father, before moving here, New York, when he was 17.

That way you get the most out of a sentence.

And some more visual descriptions would be nice. A lot of your writing is about the past and thoughts, not describing the actual scene.

I really hope this helps, and I can't wait for the next chapter. Don't worry, I'm subscribing!

thanks and will do.

Wow! I'm really liking the story! update soon!