August 25th, 2008 at 09:53pm
I really liked the descriptions in the first paragraphs although I've seen some of those details/lines before. They do fit in the scene but you should make up your own details so this story would look more unique.
Also, do they know each other? Are they couples? Or do they like each other but no one had the guts to tell it? 'Cause... they kissed, right? When I was reading what the girl is thinking in the first part, it's like she doesn't like him or that she can't come close to him making her not knowing him [ baha.. so confusing; sorry. :XD ] so it really made me wonder what's up with the kiss THEN, I just thought they just like each other. :shifty
Well anyways, I should read other stories of yours. :cute:
So, just an advice; read more stories and books or whatsoever, it will widen your usage of details/descriptions and plot. :pat:
i really like this. XD