The Boys of Summer - Comments

My goodness, this was so utterly beyond perfect. I had chills and shivers. The way it was recalled, through Gerard's eyes remembering Frank so perfectly, it felt like a dream, a stain that will never wash away, it's just so fucking pretty. I loved this so much, even more than I love the song that it was named and obviously inspired by. You nailed it, perfectly. <3

Okay, so. Shit. Every time that I am sad, or upset, or anything, I come onto this.
Because God, this is the most beautiful one shot I have ever read, hands down.
I remember reading this years ago (I must have been 14!), and absolutely not having words or anything to describe how much I loved this.
It's really frustrating that you're not on anymore, because you've inspired my writing so much throughout high school.
You've done some great work, and I'm really, really in love with this.
Just.
Please, even if you don't come on Mibba, never stop writing. You're much too amazing.

Perfect. :)

This is in the top five favorite stories of mine on Mibba, Sara. It's gorgeous and the words are weaves so perfectly. You created such a beautiful picture in my mind. You really do a wonder with words.

What I really love is that it was realistic. It's not someone gawking about someone with a perfect ending. He's saying they should have never fallen in love. And the one left. They're not together and he's haunted. They're both haunted.

And yet this is so damn beautiful. It strikes an ache in my chest at the fear that one day I could possibly be thinking the same haunting thoughts if something should happen between my love and I. You always have a way of connecting the reader to your writing.

I love this. You're brilliant.

EDIT: HOLY CRAP! Is this story really from 2007? Oops... I don't remember seeing it before! I saw the title and thought, "How did I miss this?"

I apologize for the comment after such a long period of time. But this was so stunning that I couldn't help myself.

Curses on an inactive topic.

But I wanted to say, that I was instantly captured by your writing even though this is the first of your works I've ever read. It carried such a wonderful feeling with it even though something about it did make me feel sad. At first, I thought it was going to be a typical Frerard but as I started to read it, I realized it was a lot more than that. But there's one specific part that I loved most;

"You gave it to me, that entity; I can’t stand the word innocence, makes me feel guilty for not having it. "

I think that was the most wonderful line. Ever. I'll never forget reading that line or this entire story, for that matter. I wish it wasn't only one chapter though. :<

Wow, that was the most amazing oneshot i have EVER read!!
I was so blown away with your description, whathever i was expecting from the oneshot that wasn't it, it was so much better than i expected!!!

It also seemed so realistic, like it had actually happened. The way you set the scence made a perfect image in my head, like i could see where they were.
Absolutely amazing!!!!
You're one of the most talented writers i've ever read!!!

You're one scarily talented writer. Scarily, scarily talented. This was just so... encapturing. Is that even a word? No, I don't think so. But the story captured my heart and it captured perfectly the emotions of the narrator. Your use of metaphor is stunning. You do it so well.

I kinda knew it was a Frerard... it's the green eyes. But, saying it outright feels kinda silly, 'cos it's so much more than that. Well, I think so... It's simply a beautiful, beautiful piece of writing that seems to capture (see, that word again...) the essence of the two characters just right, but doesn't shove them down your throat. So beautifully bittersweet. I just love the way you write.

=].

Jesus Christ. Alright, I would just like to say that this is flawless.

Some parts didn't make sense to me the first time I read it, but then I just read it
through again, and again, and--now I think I understand them--I'm blown away. You've got a gift on your hands, and I'm really
glad you're utilising it so well. You tied the song in seamlessly to the story. You really took the ball
and ran with it with this.

And if I didn't know, I'd never be able to tell that English wasn't your first language.

Now I'm actually looking to find something wrong with it. -snort-

Thank you.

*is shocked*

This was MAGNIFICENT!1 Honestly, the title made me think of The Ataris (their cover of this song) and that's why I clicked on it. Then I saw those lyrics and nothing could have stopped me from reading it. It's amazing how you managed to connect it, how you wrapped up the lyrics in the story. I loved it! :D

its beautiful! you are an amazing writer

Thank you very much for your honest review. I do see your point, but in spite of that, I still do have my reasons for what I've done and how. I guess it's all about one's style and taste.

And I will lose those brackets. ;)

And with that sentence... Yes, it was supposed to be still echoing in my mind. I can't believe I didn't notice. >.<

Wow. This story completely blew me away. The writing alone was enough to save any terrible plot, but everything about your story was absolutely perfect. The descriptions were one of the best worded ones I've seen on this website, and out of too. You're an amazing writer.

A few things I'd like to point out:

I sat by the lake house all by myself, hearing ghosts of past summer’s laughter still echo in my mind.
This is a really powerful first line, but I just have a feeling there's something a bit wrong (grammatically) with that phrase. It might just be me though. Try:
I sat by the lake house all by myself, hearing the ghosts of past summer's laughter echo in my mind. I removed the "still" because I wasn't sure whether you meant the "you're still watching TV" still or the adjective "the still air" still.

Also, you have a tendency to leave out the small words, and using short, sort of incomplete sentences. I understand why you're doing it, it does set the mood sometimes, but in some cases it just feels like a grammatical error. For instance, "You repeated it. The first time I heard your voice." would have been better if it was "You repeated it. It was the first time I heard your voice."

The second paragraph was my absolute favourite, by the way. I love the way the italics worked in, but I think you should lose the brackets for "his eyes were greener".

Anyway, I hope this review helps! I have to say, this was one of the stories I have read on Mibba, and possibly on the whole internet as well. I'll be sure to check out more of your stuff.

Lol, Nikki. :mrgreen:

Helena,
I know you hate that style.
That's why I'm avoiding it as much as possible. x]

Wow. I just saw this story's outside summary and found out it was a Frerard. Which doesn't really matter, 'coz I read and loved it anyway, even when I thought it wasn't. :mrgreen:

Finally, my lazy ass bothered with writing a short comment :mrgreen:

I liked it how you used summer as a kind of a metaphore for their...well..."relationship". That was what blew me away from the start.

The cigarette held in between my fingers had burnt out ages ago and just stood there, like a headstone to all those memories.
That was, without exaggeration, brilliant! It perfectly depicted the memories as a weight on his heart.
"He touched me for a moment, was gone in the next and left me stained for a lifetime."
He must've left a really strong impression. Again, brilliant.

Basically I liked everything, the concept, the metaphores,...everything, except for the second part being written in the second person. I can't stand that, so it really bugged me. Someone would say it contributed to the privacy and intimacy of their "love", but as for me, it only ruined it.
Nevertheless, it's an amazing story!

Thank you guys. I can't help it but smile whenever I see a comment for this.

I loved it babe! What I liked most was the linking of changes in scene with lyrics. Gorgeously written, as usual. I love the way to describe things. It's like, you use the perfect amount of description. You don't under-do it or over-do it (like moi!). And the plot and general concept was just... so amazing. That whole idea of meeting someone on the beach and and then falling in love and never seeing them again. It's depressing, I must say, but the way you portray it gives it a tone of content regret. If that makes any sense. Holy fuck. I'm listening to On My Own by The Used right now and it totally fits your story. But anyways, I loved it when you said how one had taken the sunglasses. And the speaker said something like, "To hide his eyes maybe. From me?" There was something about that sentence. I don't know. It expresses the character's sense of being timid yet willing yet unsure yet eager. I dunno what I'm saying anymore. Point is, you're an amazing writer and I enjoy reading your work.

Oh, wow... I don't know what to say.. It was beautiful and.. I loved it..

Wow....just incredible! You know how much I love your writing and this was no exception...

I loved how you worked the story, leaving a lot of it up to our imagination to fill in (at least that's what I thought...). Saying that, it was still really emotive though...

I actually reread it a couple of times and got more out of it each time...brilliant.....

And I've never been a big fan of that song, but now I know it's about Frankie and Gee...I'll always hear it in a new light...ha,ha...