Scattered

“Chase?” I asked incredulously.

Part of me was ecstatic that he was there while another part of me couldn’t possibly believe he was there at all.

“Um… hi,” he replied somewhat timidly. He played with his fingers absently as he stared at me with a half grin. “I, uh… hope this isn’t a bad time?”

“No!” I answered quickly without thinking. “This is a very good time,” I promised him, finally leaving the crook of Billie’s arm to envelop the boy in a hug. He gladly returned it, wrapping his arms around me and rubbing my back. “I’ve missed you,” I admitted, smiling when he nuzzled my hair slightly with his nose before pulling away.

“I’ve missed you, too,” Chase smiled, holding me at arm’s length to get a good look at me.

He hadn’t changed much since I last saw him in Rodeo. His hair was a little longer and messy as ever, still at a very dark brown but not quite black. His face was a bit thinner and his cheeks were more hollowed, but not enough to where it was incredibly noticeable unless you took the time to look. He had a bit of stubble along his jaw and his eyes were still that striking blue that always seemed to mesmerize me.

The biggest difference, though, was that I seemed to have to tilt my head up a little further than usual to see him.

I chuckled. “Either you’ve gotten taller or I’ve gotten shorter,” I said to him with a grin.

He laughed. “Well, you always have been unnaturally short,” he teased. “I wouldn’t be surprised if you lost an inch or two the past three years.”

I smacked his arm. “Thank you,” I deadpanned. I couldn’t keep the smile off my face for long, though. I was just so happy to see him. “Wow, I haven’t talked to you in a while. Why didn’t you tell me you were going to stop by for a visit?”

His eyes wandered to the left of me for a split second before returning to mine and he grinned cheekily. “I wanted to surprise you?” he asked rather than answered.

All the same… “Well, either way it’s still really good to see you.” I hugged him again and he rocked us a few times before we let go. I grabbed his hand and led him to where the other four continued to stand. I touched Candie’s arm as I looked from one to the other. “Chase, I’d like you to officially meet Candie,” the two shook hands with small smiles, though Candie’s eyes had widened slightly, making her look a little crazy. “Candie, this is Chase.”

“Yeah, she’s mentioned you a few times,” Candie had that grin on her face that suggested she was up to something. My eyes narrowed at the blonde but she skillfully ignored my existence as a whole, not even bothering to glance in my direction.

“Hey man,” Chase reacquainted himself with Mike, Tre and Billie. I couldn’t remember how close they’d been before, but they seemed to get along just fine.

“How’s college treatin’ you?” Mike asked.

Chase chuckled, shaking his head. “It’s good, it’s good. A little challenging sometimes, but better than high school.”

Tre nudged his shoulder. “You college boy, you.”

“Oh, and Mike,” Chase added, deftly ignoring Tre’s comment. “Carly sends her love, even though you’ve probably already talked to her on the phone since I left.”

Carly? Carly! “Oh my god,” I gasped, slapping a hand to my forehead. I leaned forward to slap Mike hard on the chest. “Mike, you never told me how Carly was!” I paused, feeling the guilt already beginning to twist and clench in my stomach. “Oh god, I never asked about her…” I put my face in my hands, feeling both remorseful and ashamed. It was beside the point that I still kept in contact with her – albeit not as often as I would’ve liked, but she was also a busy college-goer and worked a lot of hours – I should’ve at least mentioned her to Mike. After all, as far as I was aware, they were still together.

I sighed heavily and pulled my face from my hands, frowning. “How are you two doing? It’s been a while since I last spoke to her.”

Mike didn’t seem offended. Instead, he chuckled and shrugged his shoulders. “Don’t sweat it, Spence. I should’ve mentioned her. We’re doing great,” his eyes wrinkled as he smiled, his face lighting up like a Christmas tree. “Actually, I have some good news." There was a pause where Mike seemed adamant to prolong his good news as long as possible just to annoy me. "I proposed.”

I pounced before he had the chance to say anything else, smiling like the Cheshire Cat. “You’re getting married!” I squealed, the inner schoolgirl in me jumping for joy and dancing wildly. I threw my arms around his neck, hugging him tightly.

Mike laughed, slinking his arms around my waist as he picked me up, humoring my excitement. “Yeah,” he said rather bashfully.

It took me a while before I was willing to pull away, but when I did I was all smiles. “I can’t believe you and Carly are getting married. I’m so happy for you.” Unable to resist, I hugged him again. Two of my best friends were getting married. I knew from the beginning how remarkable and unrelenting the chemistry between them was. I was thrilled, not to mention proud. They were marrying their high school sweethearts and it was the sweetest thing.

I suddenly pulled away, a thought occurring to me. “Wait a minute,” I frowned. “When did this happen? Why didn’t Carly tell me?”

In Mike’s defense, he looked sheepish. “Well…” he drew the word out a bit. “I might’ve told her not to tell you,” my initial response to that was to feel hurt, but upon noticing the look on my face, Mike quickly reiterated, “I mean, I told her that because I wanted to tell you myself.” I felt relieved that he wasn’t actually trying to keep it from me, but I gave him a questioning look. Mike continued, rubbing his neck as he did so, “I knew our tour would bring us to Florida soon and even though I didn’t really have a set plan on how to find you, I knew I – we – would eventually. It happened a lot faster than I expected, though, and then I didn’t really know how to tell you.”

Tre rolled his eyes. “I told him to just come out and say it but he was all, ‘It’s not that simple,’ even though it totally is. I think he was just embarrassed about it ‘cause it was bound to turn into a big chick flick moment even though we all know he secretly loves those,” Tre threw an arm around Mike’s shoulder awkwardly, having to stand on his tiptoes to do so. “Don’tcha, teddy bear?”

“Get off me,” Mike tossed Tre’s arm off, rolling his eyes much like Tre had. “You’re so annoying.”

I nudged Mike in the side with my elbow teasingly. “Sooo,” I grinned wolfishly. “When’s the wedding?”

Mike laughed slightly, sounding a bit nervous. “Well… I mean, I only asked her about a month and a half ago so not for a while. But I promised her that we’d get married as soon as possible after the tour was over.”

“Awww,” I cooed, kissing his cheek and hugging him a third time. “You are so precious, Mike. I’m so excited.”

Mike hugged me back, laughing again as his nerves faded away. Candie and Chase gave their congratulations.

Eventually, the crowd in the room slowly began to disperse. The two that had gotten into the fight were taken outside to talk to the police that I assumed Kenny had called. Claire was cleaning up the broken glass with a dust pan while Johnny sat in one of the stools at the bar massaging his shoulder.

Candie and I excused ourselves for a while to make sure everyone was alright before aiding in cleaning up the place. The legs to both a table and a chair had been broken and there were the two glasses that fell, but other than that there was no other damage. I had a feeling that if Kenny really did bill the two for property damage, there wouldn’t be much to pay. But if I were them, I’d much rather go that route than deal with a punishment from law enforcement.

After cleaning up the glass, we removed the broken table and the chairs that went along with it, leaving a bit of a gap in the room that would eventually be filled with a new set of table and chairs. I didn’t really see much need for a new table since we had plenty, but Kenny insisted and who was I to complain?

Once that was all said and done, Candie, Johnny, Claire and I waited near the double doors for the verdict.

Kenny came in a few minutes later and said, “We’re just going to close early tonight.” He rubbed his face tiredly. “Like I said before, they’re gonna pay for everything they broke. I thought it seemed fair enough,” he sighed and eyed each one of us before saying softly, “Go home and get some rest.” That was basically his way of thanking us for handling everything well.

He gave a quick smile before sidestepping us and heading into the back room. All of us exchanged smiles as well and grabbed our stuff. Candie and I bid good night to Claire and Johnny before heading back over to the guys.

“So, no more beer?” Tre was the first to speak up.

I laughed. “No more beer.”

While Tre brooded in silence, Mike clapped his hands, “Well, we better start heading back to our hotel. More prepping to do tomorrow before the show on Saturday.”

Billie looked like he was mentally facepalming himself. “Oh shit, yeah,” He rubbed his eyes. “I need to get back to Adie. She’s probably wondering where we are.”

I said goodbye to the boys, hugging Billie last.

“You’re sure you’re okay?” he double-checked, whispering in my ear once he had his arms around me. I nodded into his neck, sighing contently. Tugging his head back, he gave me a lopsided grin. “Okay,” he told me, sounding reassured. I caught sight of his bruised knuckles again when we pulled away and made a mental note to ask him about it next time I saw him since he seemed to be in a hurry. He winked at me and gave one last look – that I still couldn’t read – to Chase, then trailed after his band mates out the double doors.

I smiled to myself until Candie broke the silence. “Well,” she said loudly, inching towards the lobby and away from Chase and I. “Why don’t you two go out for a bite to eat?” she suggested, that sly look reappearing in her eyes again.

I made face. “Candie, it’s after ten.”

She smirked. “I’m sure the two of you will think of something. You must be starved.”

Chase and I caught each other’s gaze. “Well…”

“So it’s settled,” Candie clapped. She gestured towards Chase. “And you’re welcome to stay with us until you leave. I mean, you’d have to sleep on the couch but it’s better than paying for a room, right?”

Chase gave me a sidelong glance, asking with his eyes if I’d be okay with that.

I sighed, but smiled. “Of course you can stay with us,” I gave my permission.

“Splendid!” Candie sang and then continued backing towards the lobby. “I’ll see you two later, then. Carry on.” She smiled wickedly at me before fully turning and leaving the bar, a small skip in her step.

If she didn’t think I noticed the way she continuously stressed you two and the two of you, she was certainly mistaken.


We stood in line at the McDonald’s down the road. It wasn’t the perfect place to eat, but I could snack on their french fries any time of the day so I didn’t object when Chase suggested it. Besides, the two of us didn’t have much cash with us to begin with so McDonald’s was like a gourmet meal.

Chase decided to get a cheeseburger with fries and I ordered myself some chicken nuggets, also with fries. We got our drinks and once our food was done, we got some condiments, then took our tray to one of the tables and sat down.

“So,” I started, feeling the need to get this question out of the way first. “Did you really fly all this way down here just to see me?” I felt skeptical that he would spend so much money for something as little as that.

“Why, you not want me here?” he asked jokingly, nibbling on a fry as he grinned at me.

I laughed outright. “Of course I want you here,” I told him honestly. “I just think it’s a lot of trouble to go through just to see me.”

Chase fiddled with the cheeseburger in his hands, watching me closely as if looking for something. I started to feel self-conscious and allowed my eyes to wander about the fast food restaurant, though they returned to his gaze shortly after. When at last he seemed to find what he was looking for, he smiled before taking a bite of his burger. Once he swallowed, he said, “My sister lives here.”

I was surprised. “I didn’t know you had a sister.”

“She’s a couple years older than me. She moved out here when she was nineteen to get married. I was fourteen at the time and flew out with our family to see the wedding. She already had a kid with her husband at the time; he was just a few months old. She wanted a fresh start with her new family and decided to come here,” he paused to take another bite. “Kind of like how you wanted a fresh start.”

“So you came out here for her and decided to drop by and see me, too?” I clarified, dipping a french fry in ketchup. Those fries were just so good. The flavor, how salty they were… I would go to McDonald’s just for the fries. I didn’t need anything else. I had gone to McDonald’s just for the fries before.

“Actually, it’s sort of the other way around,” Chase said.

I furrowed my eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

“I mainly came here to see you,” he said and for some reason that made me blush. “But I promised my sister I’d visit her over the summer when I had some free time so I plan to see her, too.”

I let that statement process. He’d flown almost three thousand miles across the United States to see me. I couldn’t even begin to imagine what sort of money that plane ticket had cost. Why would he do something like that? Unless he actually had full intentions of seeing his sister and thought at the last second to swing by my hotel and just told me it was the other way around to make me feel better about myself. I couldn’t picture Chase as the lying type, though. Besides, I never told anyone where I lived.

The suspicion was clear on my face because Chase was about to take another bite of his cheeseburger, but the expression I had made him think otherwise. He sat his half-eaten burger down on the tray and he looked guilty about something.

“Okay, so I might not have planned this trip at all…” he admitted. “I had every intention of visiting you sometime, but I had no idea where to find you here. But then I got a call from your dad—”

“Wait,” I cut him off, waving my hands around. “My father sent you here?” I asked incredulously. Why on earth would he do that?

“Well, no,” Chase corrected carefully. “It was more like your friend Candie called your dad and asked him to get a hold of me.”

And that made perfect sense. It sounded like something Candie would do, plus it explained the looks she was giving Chase earlier when he arrived, not to mention the way she treated us like she had something up her sleeve.

I nodded. “Of course she did,” I deadpanned.

“She said you’d been acting differently lately and thought maybe I could help,” he said in Candie’s defense. “Besides, I had the extra cash and like I said, I promised my sister I’d come visit her. So it was like a win-win for me,” he smiled at me, tilting his head slightly. “And I wanted to see you. I’ve missed you, Spence, believe it or not and even though we kind of left with a mutual friendship, I wanted to try and fix everything after... you know.”

I shook my head. “You have nothing to fix. You never did anything wrong, I promise. I’ve never blamed you for anything.”

Chase appeared hesitant, but he nodded anyway. “I know. I just… I felt like there was a lot left unsaid between us and I could feel it whenever we talked on the phone. I just want to make it all up to you. Please?” His blue eyes glimmered as he smoldered me with his gaze. He had perfected the puppy dog eyes and I already felt myself giving in. It was always hard to say no to him.

“You always did have a way with words,” was all I said, if not a bit slyly.

He grinned proudly and popped a french fry in his mouth. His shoulders relaxed and he looked like he was more at ease as he held his half-eaten burger towards me with a tempting smile. “Want a bite?”

As the two of us talked more about how long he was staying – which, as of now, was going to be a week – and all the little details we couldn’t get to over the phone, I came to realize just how much I missed him. I knew from the beginning that I was thrilled to see him again, but what he said before really made me stop and consider how I felt about him once our relationship ended. As expected, most of my emotions were focused on Billie at the time, but when Chase and I split up, there always was sort of… a hole, for lack of a better word, that he left behind.

I knew from the start that he’d always have a place in my heart. He was a kindhearted, charming boy with a great sense of humor and generally unforgettable. And upon seeing him again after all these years and to see hardly any difference in him; still the sweet guy that, deep down, I could have fallen in love with… it just felt familiar. And safe. It was almost like I was back in high school.

Maybe Candie was right about bringing him here. The things that were missing in my life… maybe he could be the one to fix everything. Maybe all I needed was the familiarity and the comfort I once had in Rodeo because to me, Chase was home.

I had planned on leaving everything behind when I left Rodeo, but now I’ve realized that I can’t just run away from the past because it’ll eventually catch up to me in the end. And I’m willing to slow down for that, for Chase. Whether it’s to rekindle our friendship or build something more, I don’t know. But I’m willing to sit back and see where it takes me. It’s taken me a hell of a lot longer than it should have, but I’m ready to let go.