Slightly Bruised and a Little Bit Used

I felt Riley struggling against me, and I was pulled from my deep sleep.

“Ri?” I asked, realizing in my slight disorientation that she was frantically jamming on her clothes. My heart hammered in near panic. I glanced at the clock.

What was she doing up this early?

“Ri-” tried again, as she headed out the door.

I quickly dressed and followed her increasing pace down the hall, easily catching up to her.

I grabbed her arm and spun her around, pinning her to the wall so she couldn’t run.

She stared at me fearfully, breath coming in odd, short gasps.

I stared in hurt disbelief, fuming mad.

How could she do this to me, again?

“Honestly, Riley?” I demanded angrily. “I mean, honestly?”

She looked away, tears filling her eyes. I let go of her and she slid down to the floor.

“Just-just leave me alone, Shaant,” she choked out. “You’ll be much happier if you do, trust me.” She looked down again, tears flowing freely down her cheeks.

At that moment, the only thing that upset me more was seeing her sitting there pathetically, hurting worse than I was.

I couldn’t stay mad at her when she looked so vulnerable.

I had never seen this side of her, and I was unsure how to continue without startling her.

I leaned down to help her up carefully. I wiped her face and kissed her lips gently before picking her up and carrying her back down the hall. She wrapped her arms around my neck tightly, sobbing onto my shoulder. “Ssh…” I murmured into her hair, kissing the top of her head.

I set her down with care on the bed, joining her and pulling the blankets over us.

I wound my arms tightly around her waist.

I had to make sure she wouldn’t run from me ever again.

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

I felt her struggling against my arms, but I didn’t loosen my grip, and she stopped after a few seconds.

I opened my eyes, surprised to see her giving me a soft smile.

“How are you feeling?” I asked, loosening my grip slightly.

“Okay,” she murmured back.

“You’re not going to run again if I let you go, are you?” I asked, the hint of a joke in my voice drowned by the seriousness of the answer I expected.

“I hope not,” she replied. I tucked a strand of hair behind her ear so I could see her eyes.

“Do you want to tell me why?” I asked, after a minute of silence.

“I was scared,” she said simply, shrugging. I frowned.

“Of what?”

“I don’t know. This, I guess.” I furrowed my eyebrows, still confused. “I was trying to protect myself. I…I’ve never had a relationship end well,” she said. “I always mess it up, Shaant. You don’t even know. I don’t know why you even want me.”

“Why’d you do it, Ri?” I asked again, still staring at her. I wanted the whole answer. She sighed.

“I thought that if we ever wanted to stop sleeping together, then we would stop, and it wouldn’t matter,” she answered.

“And now?” I prodded, trying not to seem demanding.

“And now I feel like a bitch,” she replied. “I’m so sorry. I took advantage of you. I was wrong and too stupid to see it.” She looked away. “And if you know what’s good for you, then you’d keep treating me like the bitch I am and just give up on me.”

“I’m not going to do that,” I murmured, reaching out to touch her soft cheek.

Maybe I was crazy for giving her a chance, but I really didn’t care. That's how bad I wanted this.

“Well, then I think we should start over,” she suggested. “From the beginning.” I smiled.

“Okay,” I agreed. “Hi. I’m Shaant.” I extended my hand and she took it. “I kind of fell in love with this girl, and I’m really hoping she’ll give me a chance, because I know I won’t let her down,” I finished, waiting for her reaction.

“Hi. I’m Riley. I’m a bitch and I don’t like relationships, but I’m trying because I kind of fell in love with this guy and I’m a little tired of one night stands.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear that,” I smiled.