How To Hold On

Chapter 1
Afterlife

Liddy got off the ground slowly, in a white space. There were no doors, no windows, no corners, no end. She didn’t feel cold, warm, pain, fear, happiness, she felt bliss. This must mean you are dead. She liked it, no screaming head aches no pain.

She sat down again, and looked around. Closing her eyes then opening them again. Nothing and no one was around. Then she head it, a tiny voice. “Hello?” It asked.

Liddy got up, not afraid just curious. “Hello?” She said back, then a black blob appeared in the far distance, it was running towards her, as it got closer she focused and realized it was a little boy.

He got closer he was dressed in black, that’s what made him strange. “Hi,” he smiled. His smile was so familiar it made her ache, the closer he got the more emotions she felt. “My name is Christian,” he said waiving at Liddy.

“I’m Liddy,” she said looking at him, noticing his porcelain like skin.

“I know,” he said letting out a giggle. “Why are you dressed like that?”

For the first time Liddy looked down at herself. She was wearing a puffy white dress, it floated without wind or breeze. “You know what, I don’t know.”

“That’s silly,” the boy said, “want to play a game?”

“Sure,” Liddy said, he sat down, Liddy did the same.

“20 questions?” He asked.

“Aren’t you a little young for that?” Liddy asked.

“I’m as young or old as you want me to be,” he said.

“Do you want me to start?” Liddy asked.

“No, I will,” his voice changed it was rougher more grown up. “Why are you here?”

Liddy looked at him, she concentrated trying to remember but she couldn’t. Her memory was fuzzy, pictures ran through her head, she opened her mouth to speak, but no words came out. He only looked at her, the piercing blue eyes hurting her.

“I died,” Liddy said, closing her eyes.

“No.” He didn’t say anything, his voice making Liddy open her eyes.

“What do you mean, no?” Liddy asked angry.

“You’re not dead yet, so why are you here?” He asked again very calm.

“I don’t know,” Liddy said.

“Yes, you do,” his voice eirly calm.

“I wanted to leave ok, I wanted to get away from everything bad is that what you wanted me to say? I said it, can I go now?” Liddy asked, her nostrils flaring. She wanted him gone. She liked the feeling before, when everything was just still and perfect.

“OK, your turn,” he said, it seemed that he grew a little bit taller.

“Who are you?” She asked.

“I was a part of you,” his eyes narrowed.

“What does that mean?”

“It means I was a part of you, then I was taken out, erased, destroyed.” He closed his eyes, and his face muscles flinched. He was growing before her eyes.

“How?” She asked.

“It’s not your turn,” he opened his eyes again, “Who was Taylor?”

Liddy flinched, her body seemed to break in half. “I don’t want to talk about it,” tears threatened to spill out of her eyes. She held them in.

“That’s not the deal. You talk I listen,” he said, she opened her eyes again and he smiled. She didn’t know what was so familiar about him.

“But you said his name, you must know who he is.” She shook hear head and wiped her tears on her sleeve. When she noticed Christian not saying anything, “He was a boy, I fell in love, he broke my heart. There are you happy now?”

“Your turn,” Christian said calmly.

“Where are we?” Liddy looked around again.

“Heaven/hell.” He looked around with her, a fire appeared before them. “I didn’t know you were cold.”

“I didn’t know either,” Liddy said. “Did I do that?” Liddy asked and Christian nodded.

“Most people get cold around me,” Christian said, then concentrated. “What’s your biggest regret?”

Liddy just looked at him, he was several years older now, about 13 or so. His hair was way to long now, it was in his eyes. “Not being happy.” Liddy let out a sigh and he nodded accepting her answer.

“Is this is? Is this where I’m going to spend eternity?” Liddy asked pointing around, she stared at the floor and purple flower started to grow, then more, yet around Christian they grew and died, she found that odd, he didn’t take notice.

“No, you’ll have to go, through those Gates.” He pointed behind Liddy she looked up and was frightened, there stood big black gates, beyond them darkness. They were made of black charcoal iron, roses and snakes were engraved on it.

“Do you know who I am?” Christian said, Liddy turned around and she froze, she recognized the smile, it was the one she saw every morning. She recognized the eyes, the hair they were the ones she dreamed of at night, in the pill induced sleep.

“No,” Liddy said. He frowned, and it hurt her because she remembered the frown.

“I’ll come with you through the gates, I’ll be your Shadow, I’ll protect you against what is to come, but I need you to do one thing for me,” his voice was full of pain.

“What….what do I need to do?” Her voice shook.

“I need you to accept me for what I am,” he said standing up, he extended his hand to her. She took it and she stood up. He was now taller then her. “Look at me, this is what I would have been.” He said when she closed her eyes remembering everything she had hoped to forget through the pills.

“WHO AM I?” He demanded

“My son, you’re my son, you would have been my son,” she fell into his arms and he hugged her.

“Thank you,” he whispered and she was left alone. Looking down at her clothes she notices she was no longer dressed in white, but black, something filler her faster then she would of expected. It was hate, she was ready to face her destiny, she wanted to kill. And the only way she could come even close to any was through those gates.

She walked up to them, and they didn’t budge. She pounded they didn’t move, she shouted only then did they answer.