Forbidden to Remember

While home alone that weekend, I was watching TV thinking about everything. I was working on a list of things that could go wrong with my relationship with Kellan when there was a knock on my door. I got up stretching I opened my door and there stood my baby faced brother Sammy.

“Sammy!” I squealed and jumped on him, but then I remember what had happened. “Oh my god Sam, are you alright tell me everything.” I said pulling him inside.

“Lily, I slept with my brother’s wife. I cheated on the love of my life. Lily I hurt my Julie. I could lose her, and knowing that is driving me insane.” I took his hand.

“Why did you do it in the first place?” he sighed.

“I didn’t mean to, I went out to celebrate a case we had solved, it was right after Cam was born. Julie was home sleeping and she told me to celebrate because she knew how important this was. I had a lot to drink and called Charlie first to see if he could come get me. Christine said he wasn’t awake but she would come and get me. When I woke up, we were naked together in a hotel room.” he finished and tears poured down his face. “I’m afraid to go home, I don’t know how to tell Julie I’m sorry, I never met for this to happen, I mean I don’t remember the night.” I nodded and pulled him into a hug.

“Oh my god, I know what to do.” I told him my plan. He liked it a lot.

I called Julie over and made it sound like it was important. She walked right in Cam was in his carrier. She stopped in her tracks at the sight of my table set for two, the lights were turned down low and their song was playing in the background. It was really the play list from their wedding. I walked over to her took Cam and her keys kissed her cheek and told her to play nice.

I went to Kristen’s for the three hours I promised Sammy he could use my place. We just basically sat around watching movies. She forgave me about the other day when I showed up to her place with junk food and movies. She smiled and hugged me. We were best friends and nothing was going to change that.

I walked in and the lights were still low, but I didn’t need to see well to know what had happen. Sammy and Julie were laying on my couch naked wrapped up in my throw blanket I keep draped over the couch.

“Well I’m taking it went well?” I said placing Cam on the table turning him away from his parents. Julie smiled up at Sammy, and nodded.

“Baby sister you are genius, so thank you.” Sammy said to me after they had gotten re dressed. I had changed Cam’s diaper while they did that, I kissed his soft cheeks and placed him back in his seat.

“No problem bro I know you’d do the same thing for me.” he nodded gave me a hug then took Cam’s carrier in one hand and took Julie’s hand in the other.

I looked around and started to clean up. Once back to normal, I looked around pouted changed into some party clothes and went to a local club I loved being at. Some people I knew where there and I asked one to use their phone I texted Kellan and told him to dress nice and come to the club.

I was sitting a crossed the club in a booth with my friends when I noticed he was coming in. I could tell that he had no clue who to look for. I started my way over to him and noticed he went to the bar. I walked up behind him and tapped his shoulder. He looked amazing in a pair of jeans that fitted him well and he wore a button down shirt with a tie. His smirk said it all, I pulled him to me by his tie and he wrapped his arms around me. We kissed for a few seconds then I lead him over to my table. I introduced him to everyone sitting around the table. He held me on is lap as we all talked and laughed amongst each other.

When it was time to leave, I was so drink Kellan had to drive me home. Thank god I took a cab to begin with. Kellan led me to hi car and had me lay down on the back seat. About half way I had to have him pull over so I could throw up. He held my hair back and rubbed my back. He wasn’t even phased. I leaned against his chest when I was done.

“Thank you.” I slurred out. He had me lay back down. My heart was racing I knew he was mad at me. My head was spinning, not only from the booze cause I was starting to sober up but by the fact he was mad at me. I spaced out I hadn’t notice anything until he was placing me in my bed.

“I’m going home, and I’m leaving some pain meds on the table, call me tomorrow.” I reached out for his hand as he turned.

“Kellan please don’t leave.” I whispered. He stared down at me, and I was hoping he would see I was sobering and that I need him so much

“Lily, I think I should leave.” he said, I nodded not wanting to fight with him.

“Kellan I’m sorry.” I said as he walked out of the room. I fell asleep and woke with a massive headache. I took the pain killers and when out to get the phone, but I was shocked to find Kellan fast asleep on the couch. I went to him and bent over the back of the couch, I stroked his cheek. His eyes opened and I smiled down at him.

“Morning.” he said quietly.

“I’m so sorry.” I said feeling the tears coming to my eyes. He sat up and pulled me over the back of the couch, I snuggled to his chest and held on to his shirt for dear life.

“Lily, I want you to know I hate drinking. I only drink when necessary. I hate drinking because my last girlfriend drank to much and killed a innocent kid because she was driving drunk.” my heart was crushed. I looked at him kissed his lips.

“Kellan I promise I won’t ever drink again, and if I do it’s because I know it’s okay with you. I can’t lose you.” I placed my hand on his cheek and his turned his head into my palm and kissed it. I smiled and he took me into my room. We spent the whole day curled up in my bed eating junk food and watching TV.