It's in Our Blood

“Kari…”

“Daddy?” I reach out towards the light, “Daddy”

“Kari… What are you doing?” Light chuckles filled the stilled air.

“I can’t see you daddy!”

“Ah, hold still.”

Warm hands glazed over my face, lifting off the leaf ensnared in my hair.

“Daddy!” I reached out, my arms desperate to wrap around my dad’s shoulders.

With ease, he hoisted my small form up in a piggy back. He carefully moved the leaf rake out of the way. He ran through the large yard, spinning me endlessly. A smile stretched on my lips so wide, it began to hurt.

Suddenly, I was dropped into the large pile of leaves we had created in the autumn season. The leaves left a crunching sound under the weight of my body. Daddy flopped right beside me, causing more colorful leaves to fly up and be carried by the wind. They flew along, dancing and twirling with the wind. Chills went up my spine.

“Daddy… Do you… Do you think…? Is she proud of me?” I asked.

“Your mother?” he softly replied.

I nodded, rustling the leaves cushioning my head, “Yeah…”

“Definitely.” Daddy affirmed, “She is so proud.”

“Then why… Why can’t she come back already?” I questioned, “If I wasn’t bad… Then why she still gone?”

Daddy stayed quiet, he did not talk for a long while. But he rubbed my back slowly, showing he was not upset or sad.

“I think she wants to.” He tells me, “But I don’t know if she can anymore.”

“Why?” I persisted, “Why not?”

“Well I don’t think God intended it to be that way.” said Daddy.

“Then I don’t like him! He’s a meanie!” I pouted.

Daddy scolded me, “Katrina… There are reasons for why God does what he does.”

“But did he have to take away mommy?” I asked.

Daddy shrugged lightly, “I’m not sure. But as long as we have each other, we’ll be alright.”

I hugged him tightly, “Never leave me daddy!”

He embraced me firmly, “Never.”

Noises around my mind became unbearable. My sense of hearing was too sensitive right now. My eyes did not want to wake so I continued to lie on a comfy unfamiliar bed. My thoughts were disoriented and messy, unwilling to sort itself out. My body felt weaker. Why was that though?

A stinging type of pain went across my right shoulder. Pain killers were placed in my system. Maybe that’s why I felt so much weaker than I usually do. But where was I? Why did my shoulder hurt? Why does the stench of blood, my blood seem to linger around my face?

Maybe… If I rest, I can find out what’s happening. My room was empty from what I could feel. It was calm, peaceful, serene… But maybe a little too calm. I didn’t have to worry about that much longer. Loud bickering came near the door of my room.

The door was thrown open, an angry Nyx stalking in. Someone was with her. A male… He seemed very familiar by the sound of his voice but perhaps if I opened my eyes… It would be easier to match a person with their face.

“I will speak only when Kari is well, awake and I have her consent!” Nyx furiously argued the guy.

I could feel his irritation. It was unnerving. However, it did not feel foreign to me at all. Should I wake? But Nyx seems to not want to talk…I think I’ll just rest myself a little longer… Until that is; when the male decides to leave.

“Kari…” whispered Nyx, “I can feel you’re up. Might as well open your eyes and get over with it.”

A shadow hung over my head. I groggily opened my eyes, Nyx’s shadow blocking the imperious lights. I smiled lightly at her, my skin feeling weird. It felt like it should have all these scabs and scrapes all over but it was all smooth. However it felt warm. Warmer that the rest of my body. Warm in the sense that something was burning under my skin… In a good way.

“Hey.” Nyx whispered, smiling.

“Hey.” I replied.

“You feeling alright?” she asked.

I nodded, “My arm feels weird though.”

She furrowed her eyebrows, “I thought your shoulder would be hurting.”

I shook my head, “Not in pain… It just feels weird.”

“Okay?” asked Nyx, “Well the Cullens are really persistent about everything. They want to know. And Bella really wants to thank you for saving her.”

I looked up at the ceiling, “so what do we say?”

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Nyx shrug, “I dunno. I don’t really mind telling them right now. I trust Alice, Jasper, Emmett and Carlisle.”

I turned my head towards her, “Then whatever. I’ll let you choose.”

Nyx pouted, pursing her lips together. She scuffed her Nike dunks, looking at the ground with her arms crossed. She flicked a long strand of hair out of her face. She groaned, stomping her foot onto the floor.

“Gah! I don’t know.” exclaimed Nyx, she bit her bottom lip, “I just don’t know.”

“What don’t you know?”

A perky calm voice came into our room. I carefully sat up and looked at the new visitor. Alice skipped inside, giving me a huge hug. I cringed slightly at the contact, still unaccustomed to the feeling of my arm, especially against the cold marble like flesh of Alice’s vampiric body.

“Alice!” I breathed out, “Please let go!”

She immediately released my body; I heaved my body over trying to regain the air that was knocked out of my system. Only to be tackled again by Bella’s petite figure. Luckily she was smaller and did not have a strong grip like Alice’s. Thank you for weak human bodies.

“Bella!” I cried out.

Bella instantly got off me and sat at my side. Her chocolate brown eyes looked into mine. She seemed to struggle with her words. She looked down at her hands briefly.

“I- Thank you.” She breathed out, “You got hurt and risked your life for me.”

I smiled at her, half heartedly, “It’s fine.”

Bella shook her head, “It’s not. You barely know me.”

I put my hands up, shrugging, “Well it’s not like I’m easily breakable.”

“You could’ve died!” cried Bella.

‘I was hoping for that.’

I stayed quiet. She wouldn’t want my reply. I wasn’t ready to tell her what I was. I’m scared to see what Bella would think of me. Plus, it’s not like I’m exactly the safest vampire half breed. There are times where I know I won’t be able to control myself. It’s happened before.

Footsteps entered the room. My head lifted to the doorway. Carlisle pleasantly smiled at me; hold a needle, probably full of antiseptics. Jasper, Edward, Emmett and Rosalie sauntered in. Rosalie and Edward were petulant compared to Jasper and Emmett’s calm demeanors.

“Stay still Kari, it’ll only last for a second.” Carlisle soothed, sticking the needle into my arm.

My head turned to my shoulder. The stinging sensation lingered temporarily, disappearing as soon as the needle was gone. Carlisle warmly smiled at me, putting the needle inside his coat.

“How do you feel?” he asked.

“Fine.”

“Your shoulder miraculously repaired itself.” commented Carlisle, “Your body’s functioning system is truly astounding. Do you honestly feel any different? You were wounded pretty badly.”

Was this his way of being discrete?

I raised my eyebrow appraisingly, “No, I’m fine. My body’s structure is strong.”

“Interesting.” He spoke, “I would love to research more about you.”

I disdainfully smiled, tilting my head to the side, “Would you really now? Cause no matter how much research you do, you won’t be able to figure out much.”

Carlisle wore his heart on his sleeve; I could feel his confusion and see it on his face.

Edward’s glower deepened, stretching across his face. Nyx walked away from her spot, desperate to avoid him and any type of confrontation. Were they expecting for us to randomly spill all our secrets and thoughts to them right now? They are wrongly mistaken if they expect that from us. After all, secrecy is key to our survival.

“Dinner!”

A warm feminine voice spoke clearly. Chills went through my spine. It felt weird. A good kind of weird. But I don’t want to know who said it. It was one of those cases where you don’t want to see it happening, but curiousity gets the better of you.

An overwhelming aroma of a delicious smelling tomato soup lingered in the air. A woman around the same height as Nyx walked in. Her hair was caramel colored that fell softly against her heart shaped face. Her smile had dimples creating an elegant look.

An elegant look that belonged to my mother.

My breathing shortened, my chest contracted. I grimaced, trying to bare a relaxed look. If that was my mother… If that was Esme… I… I don’t know what would happen. What I would do.

I swallowed the building saliva down my throat. Nyx fell by my side. I want to leave. I don’t want to be here in the Cullen household anymore. It’s too much for me to handle. I was not prepared to meet my mother. Even anyone that looks like her… Despite my journey to find her, I am not ready.

“Hello.” She smiled warmly, “Are you hungry?”

I bit my lip. She is a vampire. I know that much. But what is the probability of her having the same appearance as my mom?

“That smells delicious dear.” Carlisle complimented.

I bitterly held back my tongue. Nyx gripped the sheets beside me tightly. Vampires don’t eat. Don’t bullshit me.

“Thank you.” She smiled, “Bella honey, are you hungry too?”

Bella shyly grinned, walking into Edward’s arms.

“I’m alright.” Her stomach growled loudly, Bella blushed a deep scarlet, “Maybe just a little bit?”

My mother look alike threw her head back, laughing tenderly at Bella, “Alright. I’ll be back soon.”

She placed the soup tray beside my bed side, giving a hug to Alice and Bella.

“Thanks Esme.” Bella whispered.

I froze. Esme’s footsteps walked away from the room. I looked down at my hands spitefully. I threw the bed spread off of me. Nyx grabbed my hoodie and my shirt, passing it over. I quickly changed, too quick for the human eyes to catch. I slipped on my converse, shaking off the faintness from the antiseptics.

“We’re going to go now.” told Nyx, “Thanks for your hospitality.”

“No! You have to stay!” Alice protested.

“She’s right,” Carlisle backed up, “Kari is not in the right state to leave, she has to rest.”

“I thought I miraculously recovered, that my body’s functioning system was astounding.” I spat out.

I did not want to stay with Carlisle. I could feel that he was the one who changed my mother, that he was responsible for her leaving my father and I. The reason why my own mother does not even recognize her own blood daughter.

“I think I’ll be fine. I can rest at my own place.”

I stalked out. Pushing feelings of shock out of my system. For once, my own anger controlled my own being. I knew I might loose control if I’m not careful. I realized Victoria’s venom could possibly trigger the venom already within myself from the vampire who bit me when I was a child. But I don’t care. I do not care about that now.

Jacob appeared in front of me. His eyes were glazed with concern and worry filled him. I calmed down. Exhaling harshly, but before my eyes flashed a happy image of Esme and Carlisle. My father heartbroken at the new couple.

I pushed Jacob aside, feeling him harshly hit the floor. The venom fueled my anger, my anguish revolving around Esme and Carlisle. I was angry at Carlisle for doing that to me but part of me was furious at Esme. At her happiness with another family that was not with my dad and I. I don’t care if that seems selfish because I am done being selfless right now. After all I do to help this world; karma comes around and bites me in the arse.

I slammed the door, ignoring the Spider parked out in front. I stalked down the road, my hair whipping around my face. Screw kindness, screw altruism, screw this messed up world we call Earth.

Bright daylight singed my skin. The new venom in my veins seemed to have blended perfectly with the one I already possessed. It made my skin more delicate under sunlight, glowing under the light. Luckily I was wearing long sleeves.

I halted. My fists clutched hard, loosing blood flow to my fingers. The feeling of revenge seemed to haunt me. I wanted revenge on Carlisle. But I also didn’t want to. I’m sick and tired of this. I wish I had died.

My head swirled. A large headache pierced my mind. I felt like I was fighting. Fighting to gain consciousness and to win. But win against what? I don’t want to fight right now.

‘Then don’t. Relax and close your eyes.’

‘Relax? Close my eyes?’

‘I’ll take care of you.’

‘Who are you?’

‘Relax’