It's in Our Blood

The squirrel busied itself, delighted with its new found brown chestnut that was as big as itself. It furiously dug a hole from the soft ground, ripping away the green grass in its attempt to conceal it from the rest of the world; to hide it in time before someone else takes the chestnut before hibernation.

I crouched from behind the bushes, watching the squirrel’s every move. I made myself as still as stone as the squirrel lifted its head up and surveyed its surroundings. Before long, it felt content and once again worked away at the hole. My legs itched to move, to pounce. But not yet… Not yet.

I crept over slightly, giving myself a clear path towards it. I licked my lips, my tongue running over the edge of my teeth slightly. I waited and waited. Why was I waiting? Cause the adrenaline in my veins is exhilarating. My body slightly shook, shuddering in anticipation.

And then…

I pounced on the squirrel, grabbing it with my hands. Before it could even comprehend what was happening, I sank my teeth into it, draining it of its blood. Before long, it was dead. I laid it down on the ground, panting. I could feel my eyes revert back to its original color.

“Kari!”

I stood up and turned around.

“Are you done?” called out Kieran.

“Yeah!” I answered.

“Then hurry up!”

I turned back to the squirrel. The body of the squirrel twitched. Then, it remained still for the rest of eternity. I could feel a wet liquid on my chin. My hand wiped it off, smearing red all over. I could not help but to lick it off. It was then that I felt in control once more. More in control than I have for a while.

I kicked the ground quickly, creating a small ditch. I moved the squirrel in there, burying it with the soil. I took one more glance at the spot and went back towards everyone else.

However, Jacob was gone. He disappeared. No one had been in contact with him since he caught me kissing Kieran.

I was worried to say the least. Was he hurt? Did he hurt? I had no idea what was happening with Jacob because every time I even thought about him, a big jumble of nerves would erupt in my stomach. I didn’t know what to do.

Besides, there was less than three weeks until New Years. One more week of school and then it would be the holidays. I was beyond worried for Jacob. The more I pray for the safety of his return, the more paranoid and anxious I get. What if he decided to leave the pack? What if… the vampires got him?

I did not know the extent of the strength a pack’s bond was with one another. I was not particularly close to any of the shape shifters other than Jacob but even that relationship is incredibly strained. What was I to do? Quil and Embry as well as the rest of the pack were weary of me ever since they discovered I was a hybrid. They acted the same over all, but I can see the hesitancy in their actions sometimes.

Nyx was quiet most of the time. She spent a lot of time locked in the music room, playing with her guitar, trying to arrange an acoustic composition of a song before the talent show. She wasn’t being anti-social per say, but she did not bother to go out of the way to interact with others. In a way, Nyx was doing better. She was recovering from the dramatic moment between her and Edward.

Then again… She did not know what transpired between Edward and Bella. It might not seem important, but to Nyx, it will mean everything. She never had the chance to experience what humans called “love”. It is a different and confusing ride for Nyx to experience.

Kieran’s flaming red hair clashed against the green forest. He waited patiently with his hands in his pockets as I drew closer.

“Feeling better?” he asked.

I nodded.

Kieran flashed me a smile and we headed off back to civilization.

“This heart, it beats, beats for only you… Ohhh!”

Chills went through my body as Nyx’s voice carried the note brilliantly, going louder and higher, then dropping the note in the same way Hayley William does.

“This heart! It beats! Beats for only you! My heart… is yours!”

“Please don’t go now…”

I sung right under Nyx’s voice, echoing Josh Farro’s part.

“This heart is yours!”

“Please don’t fade away…”

I repeated the two lines as she continued to improvise that one line. Then I stopped as Nyx’s solo voice carried on.

“This heart… is… yours…”

Nyx’s voice faded away along with the sound of the strings and keys of our instruments. I played the final chord on the piano. She panted, slightly out of breath. Nyx turned towards me and smiled victoriously. We had finally succeeded in perfecting the new composition Nyx created for My Heart by Paramore.

“Yes!” She cheered, “That was great.”

I nodded and grinned. Her happy demeanor was contagious.

Nyx picked up her guitar and placed it on the stand beside her. She locked it in and stood up, cleaning up the papers off the music stand and into her folder. I copied her, moving my music back into its folder, ensuring that it would not be misplaced. I moved across the room, placing it in the shelf before heading back to the piano and covering the keys.

“Kari?” said Nyx, “Can… Can I ask you for your opinion on something?”

Her voice was frail, innocent and kind of nervous.

I firmly shut the cover over the piano, walking back to sit on the piano bench which was positioned across from her seat beside the guitar.

“Yeah” I replied quietly.

“Do you… What do you think is better?” asked Nyx, “to love someone and be with them, even though they don’t love you back… Or to love someone and have them love you, but you can’t be with them?”

Realization sunk in. She was talking about us. Or at least, her and Edward. I had to choose my words carefully or I might end up saying the wrong thing unintentionally or have my sentences being interpreted wrongly and hurt Nyx.

“I-” I stopped myself, taking a good look at Nyx, “I don’t know.” I told her, inhaling deeply, “I think… it really depends on the situation.”

Nyx looked crestfallen at my words, letting a simple “oh” escape her lips.

“But” I spoke, trying to recover what was left, “But I think it would probably be better to love someone than to not love at all. I mean, isn’t love suppose to be great? Besides, it shows you’re compassionate and that you do care and you have your strengths and weaknesses and that you understand things.”

I bit my lip, “Do you get what I’m trying to say?”

Nyx nodded slowly, looking a bit better but she still didn’t feel too good.

“Nyx” I breathed out, making sure we had stable eye contact, “I-” I took in another breath, “I also think that to love someone, in that way, also means that you have to think of what’s best for them. Sometimes, you have to let them go, regardless if they return those feelings or not. It’s like that saying, ‘if you love something, set it free. If it comes back, you know it’s meant to be.’”

“And if they don’t come back?” she whispered.

“Then it’s like other people say, sometimes knowing they are happy is enough.” I replied, “That isn’t to say though, that even if they return those feelings… Sometimes the timing is not right for everyone to be with who they want to be with. But that isn’t to say that it won’t happen later, in the future.”

Nyx adverted her gaze to the ground and began to twiddle her thumbs.

“You know, don’t you?” She kept her line of sight away from mine determined, “You know about how I feel about…” Nyx took a deep breath, “about Edward.”

I nodded, “Yeah. I do.”

“How-how does he feel about me?” she asked in a delicate voice, “Does… Does he care about me at all?”

“Are you kidding me?” I asked incredulously. Nyx’s head snapped up, “Of course he does! Why… Why else would you guys…” I broke off awkwardly.

And for the first time in my life, I saw Nyx blush. Well no, but her face was a little flush, a contrast from her usually pallid face.

“You-you know about that?” She asked, embarrassed.

I nodded, “I… kind of saw it.”

Nyx’s eyes widened.

“I was the only one. Don’t worry.” I reassured her.

Nyx relaxed slightly, her hands placed in her lap nervously.

We remained quiet, letting the silence of our house take over for a couple of minutes. Nyx looked firmly at everything but me, a reflective sullen look on her face. She did her best to block out her emotions and thoughts and shield them away from me and my Empath gift.

“He loves you.” I told her, breaking the silence.

Her eyes snapped towards me.

“Edward Cullen loves you Nyx.”

“R-really?”

I nodded. I felt happiness bubble inside of me. Nyx’s face broke out in a heart stopping and contagious smile. A sinking feeling dropped in my stomach right after though.

“But… He’s not going to leave Bella anytime soon, is he?” asked Nyx.

“Honestly?” I questioned, Nyx nodded her head in reply. “I don’t think so. He’s scared to break her heart, even though he loves you. He rather break his heart than hers.”

“And mine as well?” asked Nyx.

I looked at Nyx, stunned that she fully admitted that she loves Edward.

“I-He… Edward doesn’t know that you love him back. He-” I struggled to phrase my thoughts in a coherent sentence, “He doesn’t understand that he can be happy with you if he just took the chance. I think right now, all he’s trying to do is make sure everyone gets out of this war in one piece. And in this war, Bella is the most fragile and weakest piece of our group.”

Nyx nodded understandingly. However, a determination flared up inside of me. A fire was lit in Nyx’s eyes, making them the most beautiful eyes I had ever seen. It was like someone finally put the life back in her and it was absolutely beautiful.

“I’m going to tell him.” She declared, “I’m going to tell Edward that I love him. Screw all the freaking consequences. I don’t care about that anymore.”

Nyx stood up and looked over to me.

“It’s… It’s why I chose My Heart.” She told me, “It’s why we’re going to perform this song, it’s because I want to dedicate that song to him and let him know.”

My entire face broke out in a large smile.

“You do that Nyx.”

Nyx flashed me back a smile as she headed out of the room.

“You should do that too Kari.”

“Please don’t go now, please don’t fade away…” I whispered as I hummed the song to myself.

Nyx had signed us up for the show. Even though we were late for the sign up, she had managed to charm the student council into letting us perform. Which… considering its Nyx, it is not a hard feat. However, there was less than a week before the show.

I slammed my locker shut, swinging my bag over my shoulder and headed to the Spider. The chilly wind of December had finally arrived. It sent several shivers down my spine. A light blanket of snow had covered Forks. There was also a light snow fall falling down on to the ground and it entranced my eyes.

I reached over to the Spider, throwing my bag into the seat beside me as I slid into the driver’s seat. Kyle drove Nyx off to work so that left me with a free afternoon to do whatever.

“Kari! Kari wait up!”

I turned around to see Kieran right beside me. I staggered backwards and peered upwards. Kieran’s lips curled into a smug smile and held me in place so I wouldn’t fall backwards.

“Um… Hi?” I said unsure.

Kieran rolled his eyes and pursued his original intention to talk to me.

“Are we doing anything on the 28th?”

“The 28th? Of this month?”

“No of July, 2020.” Kieran replied sarcastically, “Yes this month.”

“Um… Just preparing for the war.” I said.

“So nothing big planned?”

I raised an eyebrow, leaning against the door of the Spider.

“Nothing big? You call the war nothing big?”

Kieran waved me off, “The school is having a huge dance. So-”

“No.” I told him point blank and got into the Spider.

“But you didn’t even let me finish!” He whined.

“You were going to say that we attend it.” I said, “The answer is no.”

Kieran stuck his head in the car, holding the door open with his hand.

“But Kari!!! Think about it! It’ll be fun! Our first ever high school dance!”

“You sound like a girl.” I replied. And he did. Since when did guys get all excited about dances?

“Kari!!!” Kieran whined again, “Come on! We’ll all go! Me, you, the Cullens, the rest of my coven, Nyx…”

I sighed, “If you want to ask Nyx out, just do it. Don’t dawdle around waiting.”

I knew Nyx didn’t like him. It would be better for him to just get it all over with so he wouldn’t stay hung up on a single girl.

Kieran gave me an appraising look, “You’re one to talk.”

I simply turned on the engine in reply. Kieran’s panic settled into me.

“Please Kari! Please oh please oh please!!!” Kieran was desperate to go.
I rolled my eyes and threw my bag into the back.

“Get in.” I told him.

Kieran’s eyes lit up with hope.

“I’m not saying yes.” I told him as he eagerly hopped into the seat next to me, “We just have to talk to everyone else about this first.”

Kieran bopped his head excitedly like a little puppy.

I drove the Spider out of the parking lot. Within minutes, we had reached the doorsteps of my home. I dropped my bag off, grabbing on my Ipod and Blackberry before I headed off to the Cullens.

The door swung open the minute we stepped out of the Spider. Alice bounced towards me, her hair flowing elegantly around her and she engulfed me in a huge hug. I returned her embrace and she let go several moments after. Her eyes twinkled in delight, telling me she already knew what was coming.

“You would look gorgeous in a white dress.” She told me as Alice led me into her house.

“We’re not going Alice.” I said firmly.

She gave me a knowing smirk, “We’ll see.” She sang out and proceeded to skip to the dining room.

Esme was cooking something up for both Kieran and I, considering we were the only ones who could eat in the household. Or if the occasional Quileute decided to come.

“Esme, where’s Carlisle? And Bison?” asked Alice.

“In his study. They should be back down any moment.”

Esme gave me a heartwarming smile as she placed down a plate of pancakes in front of me

“How are you dear?” she asked motherly.

I gave her a smile, trying my best to make sure it didn’t falter.

It was depressing to think that this should have occurred everyday of my childhood life. I would return from schooling, my mother would be there with a meal and a smile for me and ask about my day. My mother would laugh with me about crazy antics my friends and I have been up to, or consult me about boys, hold me when I was sad, or simply just being there to be there.

But she wasn’t.

And that was the fact that I had to live with. I wouldn’t get that chance.

“Fine, thank you.” I said as politely as possible.

I took a bite of the pancakes as I heard Kieran wolf them down as quickly as possible.

“These are delicious!” commented Kieran through his stuffed mouth.

Esme gave twinkling laugh as she told him thanks for the compliment.

Many times I found myself thinking that I should tell her that I’m her daughter. The signs came clearer day after day that the women that was currently standing right in front of me was in fact my mother. I wanted her to know, to accept me so badly. But I didn’t have the courage to.

“Alice!” Carlisle cried out as he and her embraced lovingly.

Bison came over to both Kieran and me and wrapped his arms around us. He sat down in the spare chair beside Kieran and inhaled the smell of pancakes, despite the fact that he could not eat them.

“Smells delicious Esme.”

Esme flashed him a smile of thanks she cleaned up the kitchen area.

“So what’s up?” asked Carlisle suspiciously as Alice innocently gazed up to him.

“There’s a dance at school. On the 28th.” said Alice immediately, “Can we go?”

Bison caught Carlisle’s eye and the two of them silently debated this with their eyes. However, as soon as Carlisle took one look into Alice’s pleading pout, he caved.

“Of course.”

Alice squealed happily, clapping her hands and turned towards me. Before she could speak, I cut across her.

“I’m not going. That’s final.” I told her.

“But!”

“Alice.” Carlisle spoke, “It’s Kari’s decision. If she doesn’t want to, then she doesn’t have to.”

He gave me a reassuring smile that only made my insides more queasy. I still wasn’t comfortable with him.

“But Carlisle dear,” Esme was going to argue with him. She was clearly on Alice’s side, “It would be wonderful if she does. Kari can join Alice, Nyx, Rosalie and Bella and it will be a great girl’s day for all six of us!”

“She’s right.”

But it wasn’t Kieran or Alice that spoke, it was Bison.

“You never do things like this for fun with your friends. It would be nice if you went with them and hung out.” said Bison.

“Come on Kari!” pleaded Alice.

Kieran turned me towards him, “Kari, please just go. It won’t be as fun if you weren’t there.”

I looked down at the table and closed my eyes.

“I’ll think about it.”

Kieran was about to protest with Alice but a stern look from Bison shut both of them up.

“That’s good enough for now. But you better think this out clearly Kari.”

I merely nodded my head.

Alice pouted, crossing her arms. “Fine. But Bella is definitely going, that’s for sure.”

Just then, Nyx turned up, an eager expression on her face as she pulled all of us back into the household. Alice let out a scream of surprise and hugged her. Carlisle did not mask his surprised expression to see Nyx in his house willingly.

“What brings you here Nyx?” He asked kindly while Alice released Nyx from her grip.

“Where is everyone? I would like to speak to them” Nyx said politely.

“There’s here somewhere. I could call them all down if you like.” He said.

Nyx merely nodded her head and sat down in the closest chair available. Carlisle exited out of the room and soon returned with everyone but Edward.

“Where’s Edward?” Nyx peered around the group.

“At Bella’s.” replied Alice.

“Oh.” Nyx said blankly. She blinked a couple of times before speaking, “Well you know the Winter Concert at school? The one that’s this Friday?”

A couple of nods and yeah were heard throughout the room.

“So Kari and I are going to be performing a song there.” Nyx beamed at this sentence, she really did love music. “It would be cool of you all to attend.”

Carlisle stepped forward on behalf of his family, “Of course Nyx. We’d love to hear you two perform.”

Nyx returned the grin Carlisle gave her. Then she walked out gracefully with a farewell to the rest of the group. I followed her as the Cullens stood by the door and watched the two of us pull out of the driveway. Kieran and Bison had disappeared from view no sooner than when Nyx and I were steadily on the road in the Spider.

However, the road we were on was much different than that of the road back home.

“Where are we going?” I asked Nyx.

“To Bella’s.”

I understood her intention now. She wanted to make sure Edward was going to be there at the concert, when she tells him that she loves him.

I stepped out of the Spider as soon as we had arrived. However, Bella was already at the door, talking to someone. As I stepped closer, I realized who that was and I halted in my step. Jacob was back.

Jacob turned around, his face completely crushed while Bella was beaming uncontrollably. No sooner than milliseconds, a cold rush of air passed by me. I whipped my head around, seeing Jacob shape shift and run away again.

I wanted to chase him this time. But I couldn’t leave Nyx. Not after all she’s done for me throughout the years. I turned back around and ignored the stinging feeling in my chest now.

I walked up the steps as Bella beamed. She smiled greatly at Nyx and I, seemingly undisturbed that Jacob had just run out of the area completely destroyed. Bella just seemed to burst in happiness.

“How are you?” I asked.

“Great!” Bella smiled, looking between Nyx and I.

Nyx surveyed Bella suspiciously.

“Bella…?” I said wearily, “What are you not telling us?”

Bella held in her excitement as much as she could. However, the excitement seemed to overpower her and she blurted out two words.

“I’m pregnant.”

Edward walked out behind her as we all stood at the doorway. Nyx and I stood dumbfounded, the words sinking into our heads.

I felt grief seep into me. Bella realized the presence of her boyfriend and turned around. She leaned upwards and kissed him straight on the mouth. Edward just stood there, stone still.

“What?” I managed to breath out.

Edward and Bella turned towards me.

“I’m pregnant!” Bella repeated happily.

“You’re… You’re pregnant? With… With Edward’s child?” Nyx’s voice was completely shaken; heartbreak was completely visible in her eyes as she looked up towards Edward.

Time seemed to slow down in the next couple of seconds.

I turned my head just as Nyx let out a vicious growl. Her entire body shook and before I could see clearly what was happening in front of my eyes, Nyx was no longer human like. No. In fact, she was a wolf.

Nyx had transformed into a wolf.