The Hardest Part Is Letting Go of Your Dreams
She knew it!
* Zanda's POV *
I was beat. That crowd was AMAZING! Damn, my throat and back hurt. I crowd surfed and screamed and then jumped down on my back. You should have seen Frank though, he was everywhere!
Well anyway, we were all tired, even Jayda, so we went to bed sorta early. When I'd finished reading Heart-Shaped Box for the night and fell asleep I saw something I knew I'd see again soon.
"HA! I KNEW IT!"
Frank and Gerard broke away and Frank put his hand on his mouth, looking like he was in pain. Gerard had probably bit his tongue, haha. Damn, Gerard's lucky.
"What the fuck?" they both said at the same time.
"I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!" I repeated.
"Yes, we know you knew it, but what did you know?" asked Frank sounding a little annoyed.
"You and Gerard are going out behind our backs!" Wait, I didn't say that!
A girl with dark hair and peircing green eyes walked you and joined us in the huge spotlight.
"Jayda!" Gerard said standing up to greet her.
"This is weird. I know that I'm asleep. But I'm awake..." She looked really confused.
"No, you're asleep,"Frank said, standing as well so we were all standing now.
"Yeah, this is a ummm... very unique dream, shall we say," I tried to explain.
"Why's it unique?" Damn she asks a lot of questions.
"Because, umm.... we know we're alseep and we can talk to eachother about the others and do stuff without anyone knowing......" Gerard's voice sort of trailed off.
"Then you and Frank.... actually....in the real world....."
"Umm.. yeah," Gerard said, glancing at the floor and then looked into Jayda's eyes. She was hurt and we could all see it, even though she was trying to hide it.
"Oh, good for you!" She smiled and tried to look happy. I don't get it though. She's seen them kiss before.....
* Jayda's POV *
I've seen Frank and Gerard kiss before. Why am I hurting now? Why not then? I guees hearing Gerard say it makes it real. Well, I'm happy for them, like I said before. I was trying to look happy. I hope it's working.
* Gerard's POV *
It wasn't working. She's trying to be happy and she's not a very good actress. I felt like crying, I didn't mean to hurt her, but I love Frankie, right? I mean I don't even know her. Right?
Right and wrong. I do love Frankie. But I do know her. I've known her for a month and fifteen days, but I'm not counting. I stood there as she tried to look happy and Frank and Zanda lingerd Awkwardly behind us.
"Hey, umm.. how do I get back to awakeness? I'm having a midnight snack craving," she asked me. I knew she wasn't hungry.
"Just walk," I said, guesturing into the darkness.
"Okay, thanks. See you guys in the morning!" She waved and walked off and away. Fuck.
"Hey, ya know what? She made me hungry so I'm just gonna go grab some ice cream, 'kay?" She's not hungry either. I knew it. Frank knew it. She's going to go check on Jay.
I just stood there, liked I'd done before and watched her go with Frank beside me. Be fore she disappeared she turned and waved with a fake smile. Frank held my hand and we waved back with fake smiles of our own.
* Zanda's POV again *
I wasn't hungry. Gerard knew it, I knew it and especially Frank knew it. I woke up and stood up from the big chair-- it was my turn to sleep on it-- and past Jazz on the couch and back to the bunks where Jayda was supposed to be sleeping below Gerard.
Her back was facing me and she was slightly rigid, meaning she wasn't relaxed, meaning she wasn't asleep.
I sat down beside her and leaned over, so I could look into her eyes, flashing bright green as bits of light from the highway hit them.
"Hey," I said softly.
"Hey," she replied, squeakily.
Bob mumbled something about slippers in his sleep across from us, the only thing filling the silence besides the sound of the bus speeding down the interstate.
"You wanna talk?" I asked. She shook her head.
"Mmkay." I rubbed her shoulder a bit, then went back out into the living room part of the bus and curled up on the big chair to read. I wasn't tired or sleepy, but wide awake for some reason. It was almost dawn so I'd gotten at least some rest.
* Frank's POV *
I looked at Gee and he looked back. I layed down on the floor and he layed next to me. We both turned sideways and I curled against Gee's chest with his arm around me and we fell alseep. Well, no.. we were already asleep, but you get it. I thought of Zanda right before I fell into darkness.
{{A/N: COMMENTS!!!-Jen))
I was beat. That crowd was AMAZING! Damn, my throat and back hurt. I crowd surfed and screamed and then jumped down on my back. You should have seen Frank though, he was everywhere!
Well anyway, we were all tired, even Jayda, so we went to bed sorta early. When I'd finished reading Heart-Shaped Box for the night and fell asleep I saw something I knew I'd see again soon.
"HA! I KNEW IT!"
Frank and Gerard broke away and Frank put his hand on his mouth, looking like he was in pain. Gerard had probably bit his tongue, haha. Damn, Gerard's lucky.
"What the fuck?" they both said at the same time.
"I knew it! I knew it! I knew it!" I repeated.
"Yes, we know you knew it, but what did you know?" asked Frank sounding a little annoyed.
"You and Gerard are going out behind our backs!" Wait, I didn't say that!
A girl with dark hair and peircing green eyes walked you and joined us in the huge spotlight.
"Jayda!" Gerard said standing up to greet her.
"This is weird. I know that I'm asleep. But I'm awake..." She looked really confused.
"No, you're asleep,"Frank said, standing as well so we were all standing now.
"Yeah, this is a ummm... very unique dream, shall we say," I tried to explain.
"Why's it unique?" Damn she asks a lot of questions.
"Because, umm.... we know we're alseep and we can talk to eachother about the others and do stuff without anyone knowing......" Gerard's voice sort of trailed off.
"Then you and Frank.... actually....in the real world....."
"Umm.. yeah," Gerard said, glancing at the floor and then looked into Jayda's eyes. She was hurt and we could all see it, even though she was trying to hide it.
"Oh, good for you!" She smiled and tried to look happy. I don't get it though. She's seen them kiss before.....
* Jayda's POV *
I've seen Frank and Gerard kiss before. Why am I hurting now? Why not then? I guees hearing Gerard say it makes it real. Well, I'm happy for them, like I said before. I was trying to look happy. I hope it's working.
* Gerard's POV *
It wasn't working. She's trying to be happy and she's not a very good actress. I felt like crying, I didn't mean to hurt her, but I love Frankie, right? I mean I don't even know her. Right?
Right and wrong. I do love Frankie. But I do know her. I've known her for a month and fifteen days, but I'm not counting. I stood there as she tried to look happy and Frank and Zanda lingerd Awkwardly behind us.
"Hey, umm.. how do I get back to awakeness? I'm having a midnight snack craving," she asked me. I knew she wasn't hungry.
"Just walk," I said, guesturing into the darkness.
"Okay, thanks. See you guys in the morning!" She waved and walked off and away. Fuck.
"Hey, ya know what? She made me hungry so I'm just gonna go grab some ice cream, 'kay?" She's not hungry either. I knew it. Frank knew it. She's going to go check on Jay.
I just stood there, liked I'd done before and watched her go with Frank beside me. Be fore she disappeared she turned and waved with a fake smile. Frank held my hand and we waved back with fake smiles of our own.
* Zanda's POV again *
I wasn't hungry. Gerard knew it, I knew it and especially Frank knew it. I woke up and stood up from the big chair-- it was my turn to sleep on it-- and past Jazz on the couch and back to the bunks where Jayda was supposed to be sleeping below Gerard.
Her back was facing me and she was slightly rigid, meaning she wasn't relaxed, meaning she wasn't asleep.
I sat down beside her and leaned over, so I could look into her eyes, flashing bright green as bits of light from the highway hit them.
"Hey," I said softly.
"Hey," she replied, squeakily.
Bob mumbled something about slippers in his sleep across from us, the only thing filling the silence besides the sound of the bus speeding down the interstate.
"You wanna talk?" I asked. She shook her head.
"Mmkay." I rubbed her shoulder a bit, then went back out into the living room part of the bus and curled up on the big chair to read. I wasn't tired or sleepy, but wide awake for some reason. It was almost dawn so I'd gotten at least some rest.
* Frank's POV *
I looked at Gee and he looked back. I layed down on the floor and he layed next to me. We both turned sideways and I curled against Gee's chest with his arm around me and we fell alseep. Well, no.. we were already asleep, but you get it. I thought of Zanda right before I fell into darkness.
{{A/N: COMMENTS!!!-Jen))