The Hardest Part Is Letting Go of Your Dreams
Boulevard of Broken Dreams
* Jayda's POV *
I woke up with dried salt water on my cheeks. Zanda had left me alone and gone back to the living room, though I wish she would have stayed here. I really did want to talk but at the same time I really didn't. She seemed fine about all of this.
And that dream was so fucking freaky! What the hell was that about? Gerard, Frank and, Zanda were all okay with that as well. How many of those dreams had they had before?
None of your business. That's none of your business. What is your business is that you're happy. You've got a place to stay, even if it is a smelly, messy tour bus with nine other people living there. Gerard and Frank are happy. You're happy for them like you've said so many times before.
It's also your business that you're miserable. You're jealous and you don't want to be. Miserable.
Face it honey, he's happy with his boyfriend. Forget about him. As soon as this tour's over you can find a place close to Zanda and Jazz that you can afford.
But I can't just forget him! I couldn't forget him at all!
Yes, you can. Just go find another rock star!
No. I can't. And I couldn't care less if he's a rock star or not! He's sweet and caring, loving and passionate. You don't find that in many guys. And he's also respectful.
God, you sound like a soap opra.
You sound like a bitch.
I hate my evil twin! You know, that little voice that's always doubting and fighting with you? I hate her. I can't just move on to some other guy. But let's not think about that now. Right now I'm reading Heart-Shaped Box. All I need to think about is how Jude and Georgia are going to get rid of the ghost.
* Mikey's POV *
Something's up with my brother. He's acting weirdly. Weirder than usual. He giggles sometimes for no reason. FREAKY. And he just smiles at nothing. Then the other half of the time he looks depressed and sad and just stares out the window. He just says he's bored. Call it brother's instinct or whatever, but I know what Gerard looks like when he's bored and that's not it.
Something's up with everyone, really. Gerard and Frank are acting the same way. Smiling and giggling (even though Frank giggles a lot anyway) then just doing nothing. Always at opposite sides of the bus, when during the "Happy Time" they're always together. You following along?
Well I consider Frank my little brother. And I know that's not him being tired as he says. But I'm suspicous, curious, and a bit worried. So are Bob and Ray. We haven't talked about it but I know they are.
Zanda and Jayda are acting a bit like Frank and Gee. But they go to the bunks together when they aren't happy. They'll go seperatly if they're actually tired or bored. I may have only known them for about a month and a half, but I know enough to tell the difference. I'm very observant. Always have been.
So here are the results of this thinking session-
Big Brother, Frank, Zanda, and Jay are all acting the same way. So it's most likely for the same reason. Which means they're hiding something from me, Keel, Tay, Bob, Ray, and Jazz.
We plan to find out what. Or at least, I do.
* Gerard's POV *
Everyone's acting differently. I can't see any reason why, though. Me and Frank are happy but no one but Zanda and Jay know about us.
Everybody's entertaining themselves. I'm drawing an alien vampire, while sitting here on the couch. Jazz is drawing a willow tree--and she draws them very well too-- Jay and Zanda are reading, Mikey's texting Mom and Dad, Frank's somewhere, and Ray and Bob are in the studio thing. Frank suddenly comes out of nowhere and jumps on my lap. I barely manage to move my drawing pad and pencil out of the way of The Flying Frankie,
He landed on me and I laughed and wrapped my arms around his waist. It wasn't unusual for Frank to do this by any means so he just put his head on my shoulder and layed there without questions being thrown. Jayda and Zanda both closed their books and set them on the same table, got up and went to the bunks, moving almost in unison.
When Jayda walked past I could see her iPod and it had just started playing Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day.
She'd told me that most of the music she listens to reflects how she feels at the moment, if she just stops in the middle of a song to go to a new one. She'd been right in the middle of singing Run to the Hills by Iron Maiden. And now she just changed it to Green Day? Must be feeling down about something.
* Jayda's POV *
I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah
I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone
Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah
I walk alone
I walk a...
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...
((A/N: We can't get a player on here, so here's the video for Blvd. of Broken Dreams. ))
I woke up with dried salt water on my cheeks. Zanda had left me alone and gone back to the living room, though I wish she would have stayed here. I really did want to talk but at the same time I really didn't. She seemed fine about all of this.
And that dream was so fucking freaky! What the hell was that about? Gerard, Frank and, Zanda were all okay with that as well. How many of those dreams had they had before?
None of your business. That's none of your business. What is your business is that you're happy. You've got a place to stay, even if it is a smelly, messy tour bus with nine other people living there. Gerard and Frank are happy. You're happy for them like you've said so many times before.
It's also your business that you're miserable. You're jealous and you don't want to be. Miserable.
Face it honey, he's happy with his boyfriend. Forget about him. As soon as this tour's over you can find a place close to Zanda and Jazz that you can afford.
But I can't just forget him! I couldn't forget him at all!
Yes, you can. Just go find another rock star!
No. I can't. And I couldn't care less if he's a rock star or not! He's sweet and caring, loving and passionate. You don't find that in many guys. And he's also respectful.
God, you sound like a soap opra.
You sound like a bitch.
I hate my evil twin! You know, that little voice that's always doubting and fighting with you? I hate her. I can't just move on to some other guy. But let's not think about that now. Right now I'm reading Heart-Shaped Box. All I need to think about is how Jude and Georgia are going to get rid of the ghost.
* Mikey's POV *
Something's up with my brother. He's acting weirdly. Weirder than usual. He giggles sometimes for no reason. FREAKY. And he just smiles at nothing. Then the other half of the time he looks depressed and sad and just stares out the window. He just says he's bored. Call it brother's instinct or whatever, but I know what Gerard looks like when he's bored and that's not it.
Something's up with everyone, really. Gerard and Frank are acting the same way. Smiling and giggling (even though Frank giggles a lot anyway) then just doing nothing. Always at opposite sides of the bus, when during the "Happy Time" they're always together. You following along?
Well I consider Frank my little brother. And I know that's not him being tired as he says. But I'm suspicous, curious, and a bit worried. So are Bob and Ray. We haven't talked about it but I know they are.
Zanda and Jayda are acting a bit like Frank and Gee. But they go to the bunks together when they aren't happy. They'll go seperatly if they're actually tired or bored. I may have only known them for about a month and a half, but I know enough to tell the difference. I'm very observant. Always have been.
So here are the results of this thinking session-
Big Brother, Frank, Zanda, and Jay are all acting the same way. So it's most likely for the same reason. Which means they're hiding something from me, Keel, Tay, Bob, Ray, and Jazz.
We plan to find out what. Or at least, I do.
* Gerard's POV *
Everyone's acting differently. I can't see any reason why, though. Me and Frank are happy but no one but Zanda and Jay know about us.
Everybody's entertaining themselves. I'm drawing an alien vampire, while sitting here on the couch. Jazz is drawing a willow tree--and she draws them very well too-- Jay and Zanda are reading, Mikey's texting Mom and Dad, Frank's somewhere, and Ray and Bob are in the studio thing. Frank suddenly comes out of nowhere and jumps on my lap. I barely manage to move my drawing pad and pencil out of the way of The Flying Frankie,
He landed on me and I laughed and wrapped my arms around his waist. It wasn't unusual for Frank to do this by any means so he just put his head on my shoulder and layed there without questions being thrown. Jayda and Zanda both closed their books and set them on the same table, got up and went to the bunks, moving almost in unison.
When Jayda walked past I could see her iPod and it had just started playing Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day.
She'd told me that most of the music she listens to reflects how she feels at the moment, if she just stops in the middle of a song to go to a new one. She'd been right in the middle of singing Run to the Hills by Iron Maiden. And now she just changed it to Green Day? Must be feeling down about something.
* Jayda's POV *
I walk a lonely road
The only one that I have ever known
Don't know where it goes
But it's home to me and I walk alone
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
and I'm the only one and I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah,
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah
I'm walking down the line
That divides me somewhere in my mind
On the border line
Of the edge and where I walk alone
Read between the lines
What's fucked up and everything's alright
Check my vital signs
To know I'm still alive and I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk alone
I walk a...
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone
Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Ah-ah, Aaah-ah
Ah-ah, Ah-ah
I walk alone
I walk a...
I walk this empty street
On the Boulevard of Broken Dreams
Where the city sleeps
And I'm the only one and I walk a...
My shadow's the only one that walks beside me
My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating
Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me
'Til then I walk alone...
((A/N: We can't get a player on here, so here's the video for Blvd. of Broken Dreams. ))