I Accidently Kidnapped the Joker. Crap.

I bit my lip trying to decide what I should do. Put him back in the car and just keep driving or try and carry him up to my apartment? Calling the police was out of the question but I could just drop him off in front of Arkham. ‘Yeah nice thinking, he’s been in and out of Arkham just as much as Lindsay Lohan has been in and out of rehab and when he gets out, I’m dead.' I rocked back and forth on my feet still scraping my bottom lip with my front teeth. I groaned finally coming to a decision. ‘My back is going to hurt tomorrow’ I thought.

This may seem weird but so have the past events. I ran to my trunk and rummaged around in my bag until I found what I was looking for; a heavy and sturdy black body bag. Yeah, yeah I know ‘Why the hell would I have a body bag in my car?’ well, I don’t know, I just thought it would be fun to use sometime as a prank on a friend. I threw the body bag down and opened it up. I wasn’t exactly sure how to put a body inside so I just rolled him into it. I was already beginning to sweat and I haven’t even tried to carry him up the stairs.

“Okay, 1… 2… 3!” I shouted as I quickly dragged the Joker’s heavy body onto the sidewalk. Thankfully there was no smeared blood on the concrete where I had been pulling the body. “God you’re so fat” I mumbled while pushing the ‘up’ button on the elevator door. When I finally heard the Ding sound I threw the body through the open doors, not even thinking if someone was in there or caring about the Joker. “Come on, come on” I whispered waiting for the doors to close.

“Hey Riley!” shouted a male who had just walking in through the front entrance. I then realized it was Tom, my neighbor and I smiled in relief. “Hey Riley!” he waved at me again with excitement while ‘running’ into the elevator. DING. ‘Oh great, now the door closes’ I thought with a smile.

“Hey Tom” I grinned back at him.

“What’s in the b…bag? He questioned poking it with his foot. My eyes quickly darted onto the ground to see the bag slumped in the corner.

“It’s from the hospital, it’s just some things I need for work” I replied while waving my hands as if it were nothing, hoping he wouldn’t push the subject any further. He looked as if in deep thought so I decided to change the subject. “Nice elevator music, huh?” my voiced dripped with sarcasm. Tom laughed loudly while I looked down in shame. DING. The elevator stopped at our floor. I hated to do this but I had to. “Hey Tom, would you mind helping me out this in my place? I asked. He smiled widely, if possible, and grabbed the Joker’s upper torso. “Thanks buddy” I said while picking the other end up.

We began walking to my apartment and I couldn’t wait. I was putting my back through a lot of strenuous activity that I wasn’t used to. ‘Almost there” I thought excitedly but gasped.

“Tom watch the fire extin-” but I was too late. We had accidentally rammed the Joker’s head into the glass case that was holding a fire extinguisher. I mentally slapped myself a couple times, praying that I didn’t add to any serious head trauma.

‘You hit him with your car and clubbed him in the head with a metal flashlight and you’re worried about lightly hitting his head on the fire extinguisher. Girl you are disturbed’ my inner voiced preached to me. “Well thanks for the help Tom, I can take it from here” I smiled while taking the keys out of my pocket.

“No problem Riley, Wanna’ watch 'Scrubs' with me to...tomorrow?” he asked me with hope.

“Of course Tom! Don’t I always?” I responded while giving him a hug. He blushed softly and ran back into his home. “Now the fun part” I groaned as I pulled the Joker inside my home.