Denial

"Okay, so let me get this straight. Zacky went into to this amazingly big state of depression, just, out of the blue, because Brian, is supposedly so much better than he is at guitar. So he went online and looked up places for amazing guitar lessons, and found that Miami, Florida was the best place for them. So he took Gena on his big escape to Miami, Florida for amazing guitar lessons because Syn is so much better than he is and we're not sure when he'll return?" I asked, trying to clear up the ridiculous little story every one had just sat here and rambled off in pieces.

They all nodded.

"Okay how come I'm not buying it?" They all exchanged glances and shrugged.

"Who knows. But even you, Helena, know I'm the most amazing guitarist in the world." Brian said oh so confidently. I rolled my eyes.

"Oh yes Brian, you're just the most wonderful amazing guitar player in the whole world and I've always, always looked up to you! Will you teach me someday?" I cheered, my voice dripping with sarcasm as everyone laughed cautiously. I still didn't know what they were on about.

They knew the truth about me and Billie Joe now. Matt had confronted me so I had to explain that. They understand now that I was just making sure he didn't turn out like all the rest. They get to meet him tomorrow. But none of this explains to me where Zacky really is and why they're acting so weird.

"Alright, someone better tell me where Zack really is right now." I said, staring directly at Matt, then to Jimmy.

"We told you." Matt said. I shook my head.

"That's the most ridiculous story I've ever heard. And Zacky would never confess that he thinks Bri is better at guitar than he is even if he did think it were true."

"Oh he confessed alright." Jimmy mumbled under his breath.

"What was that?"

"I said unless he finally seen the light." He grinned big. I rolled my eyes again.

"Fine, you guys won't tell me, I'll try his cell again."

Your love is a razorblade kiss.
Sweetest is the taste from your lips.
Your love is a rasorblade kiss.
Sweetest is the taste from your lips.
Oh the taste from your lips, My Darling.

I listened to his ringtone while waiting for an answer the I never got.

-Hey it's Zack or Zacky or whatever you call me. But hey there's a reason I didn't answer number one reason probably being that I saw your number and I didn't wanna talk to you. But if you leave a message and a good reason as to why I should call you back, I just might do that.-

I sighed and contemplated leaving him a message this time. Well, I had about three seconds to decide.

Three...

Two...

One...

Beep!

"Hey Zacky, it's Leny. Um, I'm just calling to find out where you are. I came over to your house when I got home earlier and you were gone. And like, your room was practically empty along with the living room which told me you went somewhere for longer than over night. The guys gave me some pathetic story that I'm really not buying about you confessing to Brian being better at guitar than you so you went to Miami for amazing guitar lessons. I know right? Call me back when you get this? Love you."

And with that I closed my phone and sighed. He knows I never, ever leave messages. I absolutely hate talking to a voice recorder. It's a complete and total waste of my time. So when I do, do it, it's for a really good, important reason. I'll be expecting his call. For now, I need to get some rest, it's been a long day.

Matt's Point Of View...

"How dumb do we think she is?" I asked looking at everyone. They all just stared at me.

"We should have come up with something way better than that."

"Hey, we were put on the spot!" I shook my head.

"I don't know what we're gonna do now."

"Guys? What if she finds out we've kept a huge secret from her and she winds up hating us?"

"Don't say things like that Jimmy." I said sternly.

"Seriously." Brian cut in. "You've gotta look at all the possibilities here. I mean, if she finds out that Zacky confessed his love for her, and we all knew and kept it from her. She could turn on us."

"She wouldn't do that. Sure she might be mad at first, but she'll get over it." Brian just shook his head.

There was no way I was gonna let him get to me and talk me into telling her. Zacky didn't want her to know, regardless, and we had to respect his wishes. I wanted her to know to. I mean, I can tell they're meant for each other, but Zacky needs to be the one to tell her. Not us. Things could only turn out bad.

Two Days Later...
Zacky's Point Of View...

I was laying in bed beside Gena in the hotel. She was sleeping soundly. I couldn't sleep. This had happened since the first night we got here two days ago. I sighed and pulled my blackberry out of my bag beside the bed. I had 59 missed calls. Unbelievable. I hadn't bothered to turn my phone on since we'd left. I knew they be calling like crazy. And there was one voice inparticular I really wasn't ready to hear yet. I ran through the missed calls.

13 Missed Calls = Matt.

9 Missed Calls = Val.

10 Missed Calls = Brian.

11 Missed Calls = Jimmy.

12 Missed Calls = Johnny.

4 Missed Calls = Leny.

I sighed. I decided to start listening to some of the messages being as I had nothing better to do.

"Hey man, it's Matt. Dude, I know where you're at. I found the receipt to your plane ticket laying on your table. Running away from your problems doesn't solve anything, you need to come back home. Call me back"

"Man, seriously, it been hours, I don't know why you're not pickin' up, but you really need to. The guys and I are trying to figure out how we're supposed to tell Helena what you've gone and done when she gets home." Matt again. Like I wanted to hear that. That just reminds me of where she was. With that new guy of hers. It just reminds me that she's been lying to us. To me.

"Hey dude, it's Jimmy. Matt's tried your cell like countless times and he's tired of leaving messages. You need to come home. We don't trust Gena alone with you a million miles away, she might try to sell you to the market or something. better yet, sell her!" I couldn't help but smirk at Jimmy's stupidity. God, it's only been a couple days and I already miss all of them.

"Zacky, hey, it's Val. Um, I know we haven't known each other all that long. But I've known you long enough to know that you love your friends, and that they love you. And that by you going away like this, it's not helping anything. Really. Matt's really sorry he forced you into that confession. He didn't think you would actually say it. I gotta go now. Leny just pulled up next door. Please call us back Zack." I swallowed hard after that one.

Dude..It's Johnny, you'll never believe it. We just had to make up the most ridiculous, stupid lie in the whole world to cover you from Leny. She wanted to know where you were at. It was seriously stupid. In any other situation you would've laughed. But hey, you gotta answer her calls man, she's called you three times already and she just left to go try you again. She doesn't trust us. I'm gonna go before she catches me on here. Later man." I really wanted to punch a wall right now. But the next voice on the message machine stopped me from getting up and doing so.

"Hey Zacky, it's Leny. Um, I'm just calling to find out where you are. I came over to your house when I got home earlier and you were gone. And like, your room was practically empty along with the living room which told me you went somewhere for longer than over night. The guys gave me some pathetic story that I'm really not buying about you confessing-" My breath caught in my throat right then. Had Johnny lied? "-to Brian being better at guitar than you-" I breathed a huge sigh of relief at those words. "-so you went to Miami for amazing guitar lessons. I know right? Call me back when you get this? Love you." I bit my lip at her last words. I expected anything in the entire world but her voice to be on that machine. Anything. Leny doesn't leave messages. She thinks they're a worthless use of time. She didn't even leave me a message when she was in trouble that night with Jake. I sighed and ran my hands over my tired eyes. I glanced up at the clock.

2:09 AM.

I grabbed my phone and dialed Helena's number. Late or not, she'd answer.

"Hello?" Her voice sounded sleepy, I smiled.

"Hey."

"Zacky?" She sounded shocked.

"Yeah, it's me Leny."

"You called me back." I bet she was smiling now.

"Yeah, I did. I got your message. You never leave messages."

"No I don't. You got lucky." She laughed slightly.

"Zacky?"

"Yeah?"

"Why'd you leave?"

I sighed heavily.

"Because Leny, I needed a break."

"A break from what?"

"From everything."

"What's everything?"

"What do you think everything is?" I asked in that duh tone with a smirk.

She laughed lightly.

"I miss you Zacky. It was bad enough when you were here and Gena wouldn't let me see you. The you wouldn't answer my calls, and now I can't see you at all."

I bit my lip and swallowed.

"I'm sorry Leny."

"When are you coming home?"

"I don't know?"

"Well it's not gonna be too much longer is it?"

"I don't know Leny."

"Alright."

"Look, I'm gonna go so you can sleep-"

"Do you have to?"

I smiled to myself.

"Don't you wanna sleep?"

"Yeah, but now I'm not gonna be able to go back to sleep."

"Oh, I'm sorry for waking you then."

"No, no, it's not that. Zacky?"

"Yeah?"

"Will you stay on the phone with me till I fall asleep?"

I thought about it and smiled again.

"Of course Leny."

"Thank you."

"No problem."

"Good night Zacky."

"Good night Leny."

"I love you."

I sighed.

"I love you too."

I could hear her shuffling around to get comfortable again and go back to sleep.

"Leny?" I called to see if the phone was still by her ear.

"Yeah?" She answered.

I didn't reply to that. I just started to sing softly to her Seize The Day and before I knew it I could hear her soft breathing on the other end telling me she was asleep. And as much as I didn't want to, I knew I had to hang up. I looked over to Gena who was still sleeping and sighed. I can't keep doing this to myself. I closed my eyes and rifted off to sleep thinking of Leny.

Leny's Point Of View...

"You guys are such dorks." I said looking at them all the next morning.

"Why?" Val asked.

"Why didn't you just tell me the truth?"

"What are you talking about?" Jimmy asked.

"Zacky called me at 2:10 in the morning." I got gasps and shocked looks from everyone. "I asked him why he went away and he told me he just needed to get away from everything for awhile. You guys could've just told me that. You didn't have to make up some ridiculous lie." I sighed rolling my eyes at them.

"W-well we just um, we thought ya know?" Matt said. I laughed.

"You guys are so weird." Brian was just sitting there shaking his head. Val Johnny decided to change the subject.

"So! When's Billie comin' around again?" Yes the guys had met him and they all bonded quite well. Billie Joe has been very comforting these last few days with the whole Zacky situation.

"In a couple hours, hopefully. I'm gonna run home and get showered and dressed, then call him and head over here with him." They nodded.

"Sounds good to me." Matt said standing up.

"Me too." Val agreed. everyone else agreed as well.

"Good." I stood up beside Matt. "I'm gonna go head home and I'll see you guys in a bit."

"I'm gonna give Zack a call and see if he answers." Matt said. I smiled.

"He should." I winked before walking out.

I showered and got dressed then went to call Billie Joe.

*************************************

"We should all go party!" Jimmy exclaimed.

"I'm not really in the party mood. It just doesn't seem right without Zacky here." I said. The others nodded.

"Come on, we can't sit around and wallow in self pity can we? Zack leaving as his own choice. I saw we have fun!" I sighed.

"Fine. Let's do it." The guys all looked at me.

"Are you sure Helena?" Matt asked.

"Yeah, cause you don't have to if you don't want to?" Billie added.

"No it's fine. I need a good night out again. it's been quite awhile." I smiled at them standing up from Billie Joe's lap and grabbing his hand.

"Alright then! Club Fandago it is!" Jimmy yelled. I just laughed and followed them out to the cars.

"Ya know?" Jimmy said before we separated to different cars.

"What's the use in taking our cars when we're gonna get totally trashed and get a ride home anyway?" We all stared at him.

"You're right. Call a limo." Matt said. Before long, a big stretch limo appeared in front of us and we all climbed in. We arrived at the club that I hadn't seen in a couple months about twenty minutes later. I drug Billie over to the bar stools and sat down with him.

"Well hello there Helena, it's been awhile since I've seen you and the boys around here." I smiled.

"Been busy is all."

"I see. And who's this?"

"This," I grabbed Billie Joe's hand.

"Is my new man." He grinned.

"Ah I see."

"Can we get around of six shots please?" Matt said stepping up.

"Sure thing Shadows."

"So I take it they know you all here pretty well?" Billie asked looking at me. I nodded grinning.

"They sure do."

"So there's one of you missing. Where'd he run off to?"

"Funny you should put it like that. Actually, he ran off to Miami with his girl for awhile." James, the bartender, looked shocked by this.

"Wow, purpose?"

"Purpose undefined." I stated. He laughed and shook his head.

"Wait, purpose hard to find I correct. It's not really undefined." He just laughed again and filled my shot glass for the forth time already.

"Wanna dance Billie Joe?" He looked at me.

"Are you sure you're up for it? You're a little tipsy now." I laughed and grabbed his hand leading him to the floor. The song 'Circus by Brittney Spears' came on and I absolutely had to dance to it.

"You like Brittney Spears?" He made a face.

"Normally no, but I love this song. Now shut up and dance with me." I laughed.

After the song was over I walked back over to the table where all my friends were seated, laughing and joking. We'd been here for three hours. Everybody was feeling pretty good by this point. I let Billie sit down then I sat on his lap. We joined in on the conversation and soon a was in fits of giggles at stupid things that Jimmy was saying. of course when I was messed up like this, it didn't take much to make me laugh. I was about ready to say something, when the ringing of my cell phone cut me off. I pulled it from my back pocket and stood up.

"I'll be right back peoples."

"No no, you're way too drunk you stay here. Billie get her." Matt said. Billie stood up and wrapped his arms around my waist keeping me in place my the table. I smiled and answered my phone.

"Helloooo?"

"Helena?"

"Yup! 'Sme."

"Hey, it's Zacky, are you drunk?"

"Hey Zacky! Um, maybe a little bit." I giggled.

"Are you with the guys?" He asked in that warning sounding voice.

"Yes I am." I giggled as Billie started tickling my sides a little bit. "Billie stop!" I shrieked.

"Who's Billie? I thought you were with the guys."

"I am, he's my boyfriend!"

"Oh." He sounded hurt all of a sudden.

"What's wrong Zacky? Cheer up! You know I love you!" I shouted.

"Yeah, I love you too Leny. I'm gonna go now."

"Alright."

"Bye."

"Bye Bye."

I close my phone and shoved it back in my back pocket pushing Billie down in the booth so I could sit back down. I giggled at his expression and then looked at the guys, the guys include Val.

"So that was Zacky?" Brian asked. I nodded. "And how'd he take the news about you being here with your boyfriend." I shrugged.

"He acted kinda weird. But who cares?! I'm drunk, and it's a party night, and that's all that matters!" They all laughed at my drunken stupidity.

"I think we'd better be taking you home soon." Brian said. I shook my head vigorously.

"By the way Bri. You told us we'd get to meet this girl of yours soon. How come we haven't yet?" "Too much commotion going on."

"Lame excuse!" I accused, pointing my finger at him.

"Like you have room to talk. You kept Billie from us for quite awhile."

"Hey I had a good reason, what's yours?"

"I told you."

"No that was a lame excuse, I asked for a good one!" Everyone laughed and Brian glared.

"Alright little missy you just wait, you think your so smart."

"Ooo, I'm so scared."

"You should be." I rolled my eyes, smirking, as I took another drink from my glass.

"I wish Zacky was here."