When you blink do you only find the misery weighs down your eyes?
Chapter Nineteen
Cieran's POV
Later that afternoon
I was walking to the building where my "psychologist" was located. I really didn't want to go but Shay told me it would help me out. I didn't want to talk about my problems. I didn't want to look at ink blobs and say what they were. I didn't want to do word-association. I wanted Shay. Now. I entered the building, a typical doctors office. Nice layout. Pretty pictures drawn by local artists. I signed my name in up front and the overweight, fakely blonde, 30 something desk clerk smiled at me. I smiled faintly back and went to go sit at the couch in the waiting room. I was flipping through magazines. Good Housekeeping, Redbook, Golf Digest, Reader's Digest, lots of boring shit. I was fiddling with my hair when my name was called by the blonde woman.
"Cieran Way?"
I stood up and she showed me to the office.
"Just have a seat dear. Dr. James will be in shortly."
Woo-hoo. I glanced around the room. Just a desk filled with papers, a book shelf, the couch were I was sitting at, a kitten and puppy calander, and a bunch of mental illness awareness posters. A slender, twenty-something brunette walked in.
"You must be Cieran."
I nodded my head. She went to go sit at the desk.
"I'm Dr. James. But all my patients call me by my first name. Melissa."
I nodded my head again.
"How old are you Cieran?"
"Thirteen. I'm turning fourteen in August."
She smiled. "Cool. I'm 26."
Geez. She was awfully young for a psychologist.
"Do you have any hobbies, Cieran?"
"Umm... I play bass."
"Bass? That's interesting. I play piano."
"How long have you been playing piano for?"
She though for a second. "About twenty years."
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
I bit my tongue. "I have... a boyfriend."
Her eyes opened a little wider. "Oh. Okay. Tell me about your boyfriend."
I looked around. "His name is Shay. He has blonde hair, blue eyes, and is the most gorgeous boy in the entire school."
She smiled. "Which school do you attend."
"Midway Middle."
She smiled. "I went there too. And absolutly hated it."
I smiled back. "Same here."
Melissa began skimming through my file. "It says here you attempted suicide."
I didn't need to respond to that. The information was right there.
"You know, suicide is a permenant solution....."
"...To a temporary problem." I finished for her. She giggled slightly. "Ah! You paid attention to the lecture."
I nodded my head. She place her elbows on the table. "Can you tell me why you tried to commit suicide."
I thought about that for a second. It brought back a flush of horrible memories.
"Shay..."
"What about Shay?"
"He kissed her...."
"Kissed who."
"That whore Bianca or whatever her name is."
"I thought Shay was your boyfriend."
"Yeah.. but he kissed her."
"But that musn't be the entire reason you cut yourself or attempted suicide."
I looked at Melissa. "How did you know...."
"Your arms are a dead giveaway."
"Oh."
She looked at the clock. "Damn. Time's up. See you next week, Cieran."
I waved. "Um.. Bye, Dr.. I mean Melissa."
Later that afternoon
I was walking to the building where my "psychologist" was located. I really didn't want to go but Shay told me it would help me out. I didn't want to talk about my problems. I didn't want to look at ink blobs and say what they were. I didn't want to do word-association. I wanted Shay. Now. I entered the building, a typical doctors office. Nice layout. Pretty pictures drawn by local artists. I signed my name in up front and the overweight, fakely blonde, 30 something desk clerk smiled at me. I smiled faintly back and went to go sit at the couch in the waiting room. I was flipping through magazines. Good Housekeeping, Redbook, Golf Digest, Reader's Digest, lots of boring shit. I was fiddling with my hair when my name was called by the blonde woman.
"Cieran Way?"
I stood up and she showed me to the office.
"Just have a seat dear. Dr. James will be in shortly."
Woo-hoo. I glanced around the room. Just a desk filled with papers, a book shelf, the couch were I was sitting at, a kitten and puppy calander, and a bunch of mental illness awareness posters. A slender, twenty-something brunette walked in.
"You must be Cieran."
I nodded my head. She went to go sit at the desk.
"I'm Dr. James. But all my patients call me by my first name. Melissa."
I nodded my head again.
"How old are you Cieran?"
"Thirteen. I'm turning fourteen in August."
She smiled. "Cool. I'm 26."
Geez. She was awfully young for a psychologist.
"Do you have any hobbies, Cieran?"
"Umm... I play bass."
"Bass? That's interesting. I play piano."
"How long have you been playing piano for?"
She though for a second. "About twenty years."
"Do you have a girlfriend?"
I bit my tongue. "I have... a boyfriend."
Her eyes opened a little wider. "Oh. Okay. Tell me about your boyfriend."
I looked around. "His name is Shay. He has blonde hair, blue eyes, and is the most gorgeous boy in the entire school."
She smiled. "Which school do you attend."
"Midway Middle."
She smiled. "I went there too. And absolutly hated it."
I smiled back. "Same here."
Melissa began skimming through my file. "It says here you attempted suicide."
I didn't need to respond to that. The information was right there.
"You know, suicide is a permenant solution....."
"...To a temporary problem." I finished for her. She giggled slightly. "Ah! You paid attention to the lecture."
I nodded my head. She place her elbows on the table. "Can you tell me why you tried to commit suicide."
I thought about that for a second. It brought back a flush of horrible memories.
"Shay..."
"What about Shay?"
"He kissed her...."
"Kissed who."
"That whore Bianca or whatever her name is."
"I thought Shay was your boyfriend."
"Yeah.. but he kissed her."
"But that musn't be the entire reason you cut yourself or attempted suicide."
I looked at Melissa. "How did you know...."
"Your arms are a dead giveaway."
"Oh."
She looked at the clock. "Damn. Time's up. See you next week, Cieran."
I waved. "Um.. Bye, Dr.. I mean Melissa."