Everybody Cares, Everybody Understands

“Did you get the picture I sent you?” I asked Gabe as I primped in the mirror.

“I need you to wear that dress when I come home in like three weeks. You look amazing in it,” Gabe said lowly. I could tell he was already a bit drunk, but they were celebrating Mike Carden’s birthday a week early because The Academy Is were leaving the tour before his birthday.

“I’ll wear it when I meet you at the venue. Tell Mike I said ‘happy early birthday’ and make sure you buy him a shot for me later,” I smacked my lips after I put my gloss on.

“I will. I love you!” He almost sang.

“I love you too. Have fun and don’t get into too much trouble!”

“I won’t! I’ll be good!” He laughed and I shook my head.

I hung up with Gabe and I grabbed my coat and went to hail a cab. I was going to meet up with Margot out in front of the President’s house and we’d go in together.

The cab dropped me off at the corner and Margot was there waiting for me, pacing. She looked like she was about to have a nervous breakdown. I paid the fair and got out to greet her.

“You’re like a Grecian goddess!” I smiled as I approached Margot who was waiting for me on the sidewalk. She had braided her hair in a perfect circle around the head and it complimented the whole look.

“Ha! I wish. Can I tell you I’m a little nervous? I’m afraid I’m going to mess up my forks and spoons and drink out of someone else’s water glass,” She sputtered.

“You’ll be fine and while they have the formal set up, you know everyone there and they aren’t the formal crowd,” I laughed.

“That’s true. Jenn was drinking her red wine out of a champagne glass one time,” She said and took a deep breath before letting out a laugh. “Sorry, I’m fine now.”

“No need to be sorry. You’re fine. Want to go inside before we freeze?” I held out my arm for her and we walked in together.

We gave our jackets to the man who greeted us and walked into the house, which was ridiculously huge and beautifully decorated. There were a ton of people spread out through the rooms and the dining room doors were closed so I couldn’t even take a peek at the table all set up.

“Let’s get a drink and calm you down,” I teased Margot and we walked over to one of the bars.

“Let’s definitely get a drink. I’m almost back to normal. I promise.”

“What’s your definition of normal?”

“And I was worried I wouldn’t be dressed up enough…” Margot whispered as we waited in line.

“Dean Porter never dresses up. She seriously wears jeans to everything.”

“So weird.”

“I know. I mean at least get a dressy pair and not the saggy ass mom jeans she’s got on. I’m going to hell,” I laughed as we moved closer to the bar.

“Oh, will you get me a glass of white wine?” Margot asked frantically as she looked through her purse for a vibrating cell phone. “I think it’s my dad. My mom had knee surgery today. Want to make sure she’s okay. Dad?” She answered and excused herself from the line. She was a nervous wreck today.

“See, I told you the nude dress looked the best on you.”

“I think handcuffs look better on you,” I snapped without even looking to my side. I started to pull out my cell phone.

“No, don’t please. I’m sorry,” Lucas said. “They told me you weren’t coming that’s why I’m here. I saw you trying on dresses yesterday – it is right across from my apartment. I walked by with Matthew. Please, I’ll leave,” He pleaded and I liked the sound of him begging. I liked the power now.

“I wasn’t going to come, so I’ll leave.” I didn’t even look at him and just left the line.

“Hey, where you going?” Margot asked as I passed her in the hall.

“Lucas is here. I didn’t RSVP so he thought it was cool to come. I’m gonna go,” I could feel my heart about to take off inside me. The nervousness and anxiousness he caused when he was around was so overwhelming at times.

“Tell Lucas to leave. You’re my date,” She gave me puppy dog eyes.

“I know, but what am I supposed to do. He called ahead to make sure I wasn’t going to be here and now I am.”

“Why do you care about his feelings? Clearly, he’s terrible to you if you had to get a restraining order,” She whispered.

“I don’t think I’ve ever heard you like this Margot,” I laughed a bit. She was always so calm and meek.

“Well, I want you to stay,” She said and took my hand.

“Fine. I’ll stay,” I sighed.

“I’ll tell Lucas to leave,” Margot offered.

“Let him stay for a minute and then ask him to leave. I don’t want to create a scene at the event, but believe me I do not want us to be here together. And I really don’t need everyone knowing what’s happening. I already know there is whispering behind my back, I just don’t need much more.”

“Okay, well let’s stay here. I’ll do whatever you want, okay,” She patted my arm a bit.

“Will you go get us some drinks?”

“I’ll be right back!”

I waited in the hall and all I really wanted to do was bolt. I wanted to get out of the house. I was trying my best to keep my cool. I still had to keep a level of professionalism. Certain people didn’t need to know what was going on, especially if it was going to affect how people treated me. I didn’t need that. I just wanted to do my job, that was it.

Margot came back shortly and handed me my glass of wine. I leaned a shoulder against the wall and looked at Margot who blocked my view of the main room. I needed to get out. I couldn’t think about anything else, but leaving the party, but Margot needed me. I couldn’t be selfish anymore. I needed to be here for her.

We chatted for a bit and then a tiny bell was rung and they announced that we were going to be seated. Panic overtook me. Dinner was early and Margot hadn’t gotten to Lucas to tell him to leave. I just stared at Margot and she seemed to be in a panic too.

“Would you be okay if I left? The mingling is over and it’s just dinner…you’ll be great and you can sit next to Jenn and them,” I set down my wine glass on the table near me and took in a deep breath to calm myself down.

“That’s fine. I’m sorry…I just needed you,” She apologized and gave me a hug.

“No, it’s fine. I hope you have a good time. I’m sorry I have to leave you,” I smiled and I pushed her toward the crowd that was being seated and I went to grab my coat and head home.

“Sadler! Where are you going? Dinner is this way,” The president smiled as he came down the hall toward me.

“Oh…I…uh…I’m not feeling well,” I lied nervously.

“Well, it’s probably because you’re so small. It’d be great for you to put some food in your belly. Come on, let’s eat!” He put his hand on my back and turned my back toward the dining room.

“I’m really just sick,” I pleaded, but I’m not sure if he even heard me, but he just kept pushing me toward the dining room table.

Everyone was pretty much seated and I saw Margot’s eyes go wide. We were set up by departments and of course the only seat left was next to Lucas, who also looked very uncomfortable at the sight of me. I smoothed my dress down in an effort to dry my hands a bit. I gathered myself and put on a happy face as I sat down at the table.

“Why are you here?” Margot asked, she was on the other side of me.

“You cannot tell Christoph ‘no’ because he doesn’t care,” I said through a forced smile.

“Excuse yourself soon and leave,” She offered.

“Don’t worry, I will.”

“You’re shaking,” Lucas commented as we sat and listened to the President’s speech and toast.

“I need to leave,” I said starting to hyperventilate a bit.

“I’m on my best behavior. Just relax, okay?” He was trying to be nice. I just nodded without looking at him, but it didn’t make things better.

We had the first course come out and then dinner and I was almost crawling out of my skin. I waited for all of us to be served and I was really starting to feel sick, just from all the nerves. I excused myself and had to stop at the bathroom first. I had to compose myself and I wasn’t feeling well at all.

I went to the bathroom near the front door and I looked at myself in the mirror. I was completely flushed and I was still shaking. I steadied myself with one arm against the wall and I ran cold water and dabbed a towel that was in the bathroom. I dabbed the towel on my forehead and on the back of my neck.

+++

I opened my eyes and I felt like a Mack Truck had hit me. I looked to my side and I didn’t recognize where I was. I blinked again to clear my eyes because they were blurry and I looked down at myself and I was fully clothed and my purse was next to me. I rolled on my side and pushed myself up to look around the room. Where was I and why was I fully clothed? I couldn’t remember anything from last night.

I shot up and looked for my shoes and grabbed my purse. What did I do? Where was I? I started to cry and I ran out of the room that I was in.

“Hey, you’re up,” Courtney said as she came toward me.

“What the fuck am I doing here?” I cried.

“Lucas found you passed out near the president’s house. He left to let you stay and he called me to come help. He called Rob and he just got here to get you. Lucas is down there meeting him.” She spoke calmly and tried to ease me off the ledge.

“What time is it?” I cried.

“It’s only 11pm. He called the last few people you called until someone answered. He’s been in the lobby the entire time. He just brought you here and that was it.”

“I’ll go meet Rob…” I said and opened the door and right into Rob’s arms.

“Hey, baby, you okay?” Rob asked wrapping his arms around me and stroking my hair.

“I don’t know what happened,” I sobbed.

“I think she just got overwhelmed and passed out.” Courtney sounded really worried.

“You’re lucky someone found you. Even if it was Lucas…I’m just so glad you’re okay,” He soothed. “Thank you Courtney, thank you.” Rob said genuinely and held me as we walked down the hall.

“What happened to me Rob?” I sobbed as we passed Lucas who held the lobby door open for us.

“I don’t know. I got a call like an hour ago from Lucas that he found you passed out down the street from the President’s house. You were on a bench and sort of conscious. Lucas called me and said he’d take you to his house near there and now here I am,” He said as he put me in his car. “Do you remember anything?”

“I remember him being at the party and trying to leave…he wasn’t there because I was going to be there, that I remember,” I felt really groggy still. “I didn’t RSVP. I felt weird, but I was sure it was from feeling overwhelmed and I went to leave and then I just remember waking up right now,” My hands kept shaking.

“We’re gonna get you home, okay? Meg’s waiting for us and we’ll figure this out. How much did you have to drink?”

“I gotta call Margot,” I could barely get my cell phone out of my purse my hands were shaking so badly. I finally got it out and dialed Margot.

“Hey, you home safe?” Margot asked.

“No…” I cried. “Did I have more than one drink tonight? You gave me my one drink right?”

“Well, Lucas got it for me, but yeah, I gave you your drink. You had one that you barely finished and then left in the middle of dinner. Are you okay? You sound weird.”

“I passed out down the street from the president’s house. When did Lucas leave?”

“Sadie, maybe you should do this tomorrow?” Rob asked and rubbed my shoulder.

“I’m okay,” I sucked back the tears and gave him a smile as we drove. He seemed a bit annoyed, but let me continue.

“He left like a half hour after you, not too long I don’t think…Are you okay? What happened?” Margot asked frantically, she was clearly still at the party, but in a quieter area. I could hear a muffled crowd.

“I don’t know. I’m trying to figure that, but none of this makes sense. I think something happened to me…”

“Like what? Do you think it’s just from being overwhelmed? Are you going to go to the hospital? Do you think Lucas had something to do with it?” She whispered his name and was definitely a bit frantic.

“I don’t know. I just wanted to know if you saw him leave and make sure I only had one drink.”

“One drink, that’s it. Lucas actually brought me over the glasses I didn’t even wait, now that I think about it. Where are you?”

“My friend came and got me. I’m pulling into my garage right now. I’ll let you know if anything happens,” I assured her. I was still really shaken up.

What if no one had found me? What if someone stole my purse or raped me? What happened that I just passed out for two hours? I was so confused and hurt. I needed to know what happened and just ease my mind. I could only jumped to the conclusion that Lucas had something to do with this. It was convenient that he gave Margot our drinks and it was even more of a coincidence that he found me passed out and brought me back to his place, but why would he call my friends? Why would Courtney be there if he was trying to do something to me?

“You okay?” Rob asked as he ran a hand down the side of my face before placing his hand on the back of my neck.

“I feel like shit. I feel completely off and I don’t remember a thing. I’m not okay,” I leaned across the now parked car and just hugged Rob tightly. “I wish Gabe was home. This never happened to me before. I was just a normal girl before all of this happened. This has been the shittiest year of my life.”

“We’ll figure it out. I love you and Meg loves you and we’re here for you. Maybe you need a break? Maybe you should quit your job?” Rob offered knowing he shouldn’t have said anything as he finished.

“I know. I just hate that I worked so hard for this and some asshole can take it all away…I wish that I was stronger to take him down.”

“We’ll get you all back to normal. I promise. Let’s get upstairs and get you into bed.”

Rob came and opened my door and helped me out of the car and we walked to the elevator together. He kept a grip on me the entire time. We got into the elevator and up to the street.

“Does Gabe know?” I asked weakly.

“He does. Lucas called him too when he couldn’t get a hold of anyone. I’m sorry. I was at the bar and I didn’t have my phone for a bit.”

“Don’t worry about it. What did he say?” I tensed up waiting for him to tell me Gabe’s reaction.

“I think there are like 10 snipers on all these rooftops already,” He teased and squeezed me tight as we walked into my building.

“He’s probably on a flight to kill Lucas right now.”

“He’s also completely wasted. I am sure he’s comatose by now.”

“I forgot about the party,” I sighed in relief. “He was drunk when I talked to him earlier. I am sure he won’t even remember in the morning.”

“Hi!” Meg was waiting in the hall for me and just came and ushered me into my apartment. “I have your bed all set up.”

“Thanks,” I said hugging her tightly.

“Go get changed. I made some tea. I’ll bring it to you and Rob and I are going to stay with you tonight, okay?” She said in a motherly tone.

“I’m sorry I scared you guys.”

“No need to be sorry. I am just glad that you’re okay. Go get changed,” Meg said and pushed me toward my bedroom.

I walked down the hall and closed my bedroom door behind me. I unzipped myself out of my dress and kicked my heels off at the foot of my bed. I hung my dress up and put it in my closet and walked into my bathroom to wash my face and put up my hair.

I washed my face and kept looking at myself in the mirror. I still felt sort of drunk and wasted. I couldn’t shake this feeling I had after I talked to Margot. I went into my room and threw on a pair of sweatpants and a hoodie and grabbed my sneakers.

“I need you to take me to the police station,” I announced as I ran and sat on the couch to put my sneakers on.

“Why? What happened?” Meg asked sitting next to me.

“I have a feeling that Lucas drugged me and I need to report a violation the protective order,” I ranted as I tied my shoes.

“Why would he call all of us and even Gabe?” Rob asked in a bit of disbelief at my request.

“He wants everyone to think he’s great and this saint; redeem himself. I think it’s just very convenient that he gave Margot a drink and then he found me,” I said and leaned back against the couch. I was so drowsy still.

“Do you think he’d do that? He has a kid?” Meg said bluntly.

“Are you actually taking his side now? I just don’t feel right about it. I want to be safe, okay?” I pushed myself up and fell back down; I was really weak.

“Come here,” Rob said and pulled me up off the couch.

“Thank you. I just…I don’t like this. What the fuck?” I cried in frustration.

“I know, boo. We got your back. Let’s go down the street to the precinct.”

“I wasn’t insinuating that Lucas was good or that he didn’t have anything to do with this. I was just trying to play devil’s advocate, okay?” Meg took my hand as we walked to the elevator.

“I know. I just…I can’t keep having this sort of shit happen to me. In all my life, seriously, I’ve never had this much drama or struggle. You’ve known me my entire life, you know this is not me or what I like.”

“Babe, I know. This fucking sucks. Sometimes we just let the wrong people into our lives and we don’t realize it till it’s too late. We’ll be rid of him soon. I promise.”

“I know. I’m gonna take some time and go be with Gabe I think. If he’ll have me,” I laughed as we walked out of my building and down the street. Rob kept a good hold of me on one side to keep me from falling and Meg held my hand.

“I think that’s a good idea. A very good idea,” Meg squeezed my hand tighter.

We went into the police department and I filed a report. They were very nice and helpful and they had a doctor come to the station to test my vitals and all of that. I was way off on a lot of my levels, but I didn’t test positive for any drugs, which probably meant it was GHB or something like that, which is undetectable in blood tests. Margot came down to the station to give her statement and told them about him giving her our drinks and being at the same party as I was. They were going to pick up Lucas for questioning and probably hold him for a while for violating the order or protection. I didn’t want him to be without his child, but now that I know Courtney is back with him I didn’t worry so much.

Once we were set at the station, Rob, Meghan and I headed back to my place. I tucked myself into bed and Meg rubbed my head and stayed with me till I fell asleep. I just wanted this to all be over and life to go back to normal.