Everybody Cares, Everybody Understands

“Sadler, where are you going?” Meg asked groggily.

“I have work,” I said as I went to the bathroom.

“You’re not going to work today. Get back in bed with me and Rob.”

“I have some important things to take care of today…like quitting and stuff,” I sighed as I turned on the shower.

“Hold up, sister friend,” Meg said as she pushed the door open. I clutched myself out of instinct and because while Rob and I were very close, there was no need for him to see me naked.

“Will you shut the door?” I whispered and she came in and shut the door behind her.

“You’re quitting? Maybe you should talk to Gabe first…”

“He’s probably still passed out and hung-over from last night, plus he’d love for me to quit,” I didn’t want to cry, but I could feel the heat from the tears as they started to well in my eyes.

“You can find another job. You’re great at what you do,” She feigned support, but put on her best face for me.

I honestly didn’t know what I was doing. Everyone seemed to want me to quit, so I was going to do it and now they seemed to just be saying that. I was conflicted, but I wanted an end to this. I wanted an end to all of this drama. I’d find something else – at a college or university or even part-time work would do as long as it didn’t involve Lucas.

“Thanks…I hope so,” I sighed heavily.

Meg left slowly and let me get ready. I hopped into the shower and I just stood there for a long while thinking. I couldn’t focus. I wanted to vomit I was so nervous and sad all at the same time, but somewhere inside of me I felt this calmness, something assuring me that this was the right decision and everything would be okay. Or maybe that was me trying to convince myself, either way I hoped it worked out.

I hopped out of the shower and slowly got dressed. Rob and Meg had moved out of my room and were probably in the living room discussing how crazy I was. I composed myself and put on a happy face as I breezed out into the living room.

“Coffee for you,” Rob smiled a bit nervously as he handed me a travel mug with coffee.

“You are terrible at hiding how you’re feeling,” I laughed taking the mug from him.
“Everything is fine. This is for the best…Really, it is,” I said upbeat and I was really trying to convince myself that all was fine, as much as I was trying to convince Rob.

“I just wish it was him that quit, you know?”

“Me too, but what can you do? I can’t keep living like this. I can’t let this affect my family and my friends, it’s not fair…I hate that I wasn’t the most stubborn of them all,” I laughed.

“It’s surprising actually. You’re very stubborn!” Meg chimed in from the couch.

“I know, but I’m trying out this thing where I know when to give in…I’m late on this one, but it’s time,” I swallowed back some tears and anxiety and kept my brave face on.

“We support you and whatever you need, let us know,” Meg said as she got up off the couch and stood next to me in the kitchen.

“Thanks. It means everything to me…I gotta go,” I said noticing the microwave clock. “I just want to get this over with.”

“Call me and I’ll come pick you up, okay?” Meg asked.

“Okay. Thanks for the coffee, Rob.” I smiled and headed out the door.

I called Gabe and hopefully he’d answer, but I’m sure he was still passed out from last night’s activities. He was pretty drunk when I talked to him before the party and I was sure he had to have been completely tanked when Lucas and Rob called him. Maybe he didn’t remember the conversations he had last night.

I got his voicemail.

“I’m going to whisper because I’m sure you’re hungover as fuck, but I want you to know that I’m quitting. It’s done and I’m gonna come and see you for a bit, if you’ll have me,” I sighed as I left him the message. “I’ll call you later. I love you,” I hung up and headed down the stairs to the subway.

When I finally reached my building, I had psyched myself up. I was strong and ready for this. I opened the door and I became jelly. I was so nervous all of a sudden. I ran to the bathroom on the first floor and locked myself in a stall. I felt like I was going to be sick. I stood over the bowl just in case and then it came. All the nerves upset my body and I couldn’t hold it in any longer.

I wiped my eyes that were watering and my face as I stood up straight and flushed the toilet. I leaned against the back of the stall door and tried to psych myself up again. I stayed there for what felt like a minute, but I looked at my watch and I had been in the bathroom for about twenty-five minutes. I finally summoned the courage to open the door and clean myself up. I straightened up and pulled my shoulders back and walked confidently out of the bathroom and up to the third floor to the president’s office.

I walked in and chatted with his secretary, who said he was in and just finishing up a conference call, but should have time for me. I was surprised and relieved that he had the time. I was afraid I’d have to make an appointment for later in the day and work through the day till we could meet. I would not have been able to focus in my office or anywhere for that matter today. I took a seat in a chair in his waiting area.

I sat nervously and tapped my one foot on the ground and bounced my knee as I waited. I checked my phone about 900 times, but I didn’t have a single message, e-mail or missed call. I was doing everything to take my mind off of quitting my job. I didn’t really want to do it, but I had to. I had to do it for my sanity and the greater good of my family and friends.

After fifteen minutes of waiting Christoph, the college president emerged from his office with a smile on his face as he saw me. I immediately started to cry as I walked towards him.

“Sadler, come in,” Christoph said as he wrapped his arms around my shoulders and shut the door behind us. “What’s wrong Sadler?” He asked as he sat me down in a chair in front of his desk, he sat next to me.

“I…I…” I hiccupped between sobs. Christoph handed me a tissue and I blotted my eyes. “I need to tender my resignation,” I almost vomited as the words escaped my mouth.

I couldn’t control the tears that were streaming out of my eyes. My president was at a loss with how to console me. I just kept telling myself to get it together. I took a deep breath and sucked back my tears.

“I’m sorry…” I blubbered.

“Here,” He said as he handed me another tissue.

“I’m sorry…I didn’t think I’d be like this…” I wiped my eyes and tried to sit up straight, maybe that’d help me.

“What can we do to keep you Sadler?” He asked calmly. I just figured they’d want me gone with all the problems, but I had a nice ego stroke when he wanted to know how to keep me.

“The simple answer would be to fire Lucas Wells, but …I think that I truly may need to take a break. I may need to just step away for a bit…” I stuttered. It was sort of clicking in my head, everything was becoming clearer. It was just falling into place. “I would, however…if at all possible when I decide I’m ready again act as a consultant for the program or be involved somehow?”

“Well, I’d love to have you with us in any capacity. I will fight to have you be a part of this. I’ll pay you out of my pocket,” He laughed a bit.

“Thank you. This program is my baby and I would never just walk away from it…or my job, but these extreme circumstances are not good for anyone. Just watch Lucas…he’s brilliant, he is, but he made some bad decisions…” I don’t know why I was singing Lucas’ praises, but truly aside from him trying to sabotage my marriage and all the drama he brought into my life, he was amazing at what he did as well. He represented all of my ideas to a T and it was disheartening that things had to get this way.

“We’ll be watching him. You could be in his position soon…We just need real grounds to fire him. Please, obviously do not repeat this to anyone. We recognized your claims and knew they were valid and serious, but unfortunately there are a lot of hoops we have to jump through in order to fire someone. If it were that easy, he would have been fired a long time ago, but being that we have so many people to report to we have to show a ton of documentation…” He was being very delicate about it all, which I appreciated. “Because it was only a temporary order, they had us tied up till a final order was given, which did not make me happy at all. I apologize to you. I am sure you felt like we were working against you, but we weren’t. I wouldn’t have proceeded the way I did, but my hands are tied with protocol.”

“I understand…It’s a serious situation and if you don’t fully investigate you may listening to a false story, but I assure you I did not make up anything…” I stuttered a bit as I choked back tears to finally compose myself.

“I know you didn’t. I never doubted you at all…We’ll be in touch though because your run here is not over,” Christoph smiled.

“Thank you,” I smiled. “Is it okay if I come back later tonight to grab my stuff? I don’t need a scene right now.”

“Of course you can. Whenever you’re done, just leave your keys on Margot’s desk,” He said kindly as he stood up.

“Thank you for everything, Christoph,” I said as I stood up too.

“This is not good-bye, you’ll be back, I know it,” He gave me a hug and then walked me to the door. “I’ll talk to you soon Sadler,” I nodded and made a beeline for the exit.

I felt relieved and actually okay. Either way they wanted me to be a part of their team, which is all I wanted. I didn’t want to completely abandon my program, but I couldn’t keep doing what I was doing. I was finally free and I smiled to myself as I left the building.

I called Meg, as she had instructed, while I walked through the quad.

“How are you feeling?” She asked immediately

“I’m feeling okay, actually. Where are you? Are you driving?”

“I’m driving to come and get you and then Gabe is flying back…” She said nervously. “He cancelled tonight’s show and moved it to tomorrow…But, he couldn’t get here sooner because he was too drunk and they wouldn’t put him on the plane,” She laughed.

“Oh jesus. I married a winner,” I laughed. “I’ll be here. I’m gonna come back later tonight and get my stuff. And I like how he called you guys, but didn’t call me back!” I laughed.

“I think he’s way too hungover for a fight. I mean, he just sobered up enough to get on a flight. He was out till about 3 hours ago and then he waited in the airport with Alex and Nate, who I am sure were equally as drunk.” She quipped.

“Beautiful. How far away are you?”

“I’m pulling into the parking lot now. I was just gonna wait for you.”

“I’m walking that way now,” I said and hung up my phone and saw her pull around the corner.

“Your eyes don’t look too bad,” Meg winked as I got into the car.

“Thanks,” I laughed. “Are we off to get Gabe now?” I slid down in my seat a bit and closed my eyes.

“Yes, he’ll be fine. I’ll kick his ass if he gets all drunk emotional on you.”

“Thanks. I’m not worried about it. I just feel terrible he moved a show that kills me.”

“They’ll be fine. He’s taking you with him and he’ll do it tomorrow.”

We drove the rest of the way to the airport in silence. We parked and went to grab Gabe. He practically stumbled out of the gate toward us.

“We have to go and get you packed up,” Gabe said as he grabbed my arm and pulled me with him.

“Hey, don’t,” I said pulling my arm out of his grasp.

“Let’s go,” He said angrily. I could tell he was still not feeling well from the night before, or few hours before.

“I’m fine. I did everything I should have. I fucking quit my job today,” I said angrily and walked next to Meg, so she was between us. I walked ahead of them and was so mad.

“Are you fucking serious, Sadler?” He questions loudly and Meg punches him in the stomach a bit.

“Gabe, don’t you think she’s been through enough? She quit her job to make this end, okay?” Meg growled at him.

“It’s about time she did. I was thinking she liked it,” Gabe scoffed.

“Stop being an asshole,” I said as I stopped in my tracks and turned around. “I know you’re mad and you want to protect me, but for Christ sake, let’s just get out of the fucking airport before making a scene,” I clenched my fists and practically ran to the car I was walking so fast.

“Good job,” Meg said and I could hear her trying to catch up.

We rode back to my apartment where Meg dropped us off in silence. Our elevator ride was silent too. I went into the bedroom and just collapsed on the bed. I don’t know where Gabe went, but he didn’t follow.

“I’m sorry, but honestly, what the fuck,” I heard Gabe say as I had my face buried in my pillow.

“I know,” I groaned not taking my face out of the pillow.

“I’m taking you with me, I hope you know that,” Gabe said as he slid in bed next to me and put his mouth to my ear.

“You’re still drunk,” I moved away from him.

“Well, closer to buzzed than drunk…” He scooted closer to me again.

“Either way. Sober up or something,” I said annoyed and I felt Gabe move and then he flipped me over onto my back.

“I may be buzzed, but it doesn’t mean I wasn’t scared out of my mind. When I got a call from Lucas last night I panicked and then when he told me the story I freaked even more. They stopped me from going to the airport right away because I was so drunk. I kept drinking secretly and they took me to the airport, but they wouldn’t let me on…I had the show postponed till tomorrow so I could come home and get you,” He said angrily as he looked down at me. “Stop trying to take things on your own. It’s okay to ask for help…”

“Everything was fine. How was I supposed to know all of that was gonna happen? I tried to leave when I saw him, but the president insisted I stay, he even seated me. He totally forgot about the whole thing. He felt terrible about it all today…”

“That’s all well and good, but I’m so glad you quit.”

“Seriously?!” I asked angrily as I rolled off the bed. I stood facing him, almost shaking.

“Yeah, now you can come on the road and you won’t have to be so stressed all the time and most importantly you’ll be away from Lucas,” He smiled as he kneeled on the bed.

“That job was everything to me. Can you have a little sympathy? A little consideration for how I feel? I built this whole program and changed the system and I just had to walk away, I mean fuck!” I screamed.

“Really? I think I’ve been pretty nice through all of this. I’ve wanted do to smack some sense in you and make you quit avoiding this whole situation. I supported you through all of this. I let you go to work with fucking Lucas who wanted to fuck you! I let you hang out with Courtney even though she was fucking crazy and a part of Lucas’ life. Did you want me to just divorce you so you could be with fucking Lucas?” Gabe screamed as he stood on the other side of the bed.

“Oh please! I’m an adult and while Courtney eventually proved herself crazy, she wasn’t at first and I can’t go around assuming people are crazy because of their family or who they associate with. That’s ludicrous,” I laughed at how ridiculous his accusations were. “I didn’t want to quit because I was there first. I created the program that Lucas peddled and which ultimately helped him keep his job. That made me feel good and then when things got weird…I didn’t want to leave,” I was so angry and I was straining my voice. “Part of me wanted to stay for the attention because lord knows I wasn’t getting it here, but I wanted to stay because it was my pet. You should know all I ever wanted was this and how hard it is to give it up. It’s like asking you to give up music and Cobra…” I clenched and unclenched my fists and then crossed them in front of me.

“For an adult you seemed to have put yourself in a lot of awkward and unsafe situations,” Gabe eyed me condescendingly.

“I’m sorry I’m not like you and trust no one. I don’t want to fight about this, but at least cut me some fucking slack. I’m upset about my job, okay? You have what you want and can keep doing it. I don’t know if I’ll ever get what I had back. It was so hard to get the position I had. I had to wait for someone to leave and I worked so hard to prove myself…” I cried. I didn’t want to. I wasn’t much of a crier until these past few years. I didn’t like it at all.

“You’ll have it again, Sade…you will,” Gabe said genuinely as he came towards me. He slid his hands on either side of my face and pulled it up to look at him. “You built an amazing reputation here. Christoph loves you and he’d recommend you anywhere. He’d get you a job at the snap of his fingers,” Gabe nodded as if to get me to agree as well.

“It’s not that simple Gabe,” I sighed looking down and away from him.

“I’m not stupid, I know that, but you are connected and it’s all about who you know. You always went to those networking events and all those conferences in your field…you know people who can help you. Maybe it’ll take a bit to get back to where you are or maybe you’ll go right to the top?” Gabe dropped his hands from my face and took my hands in his. “I’m sorry…you gotta see where I’m coming from too though. I would turn around and you’d be in harm’s way again. I just didn’t know what to do anymore, you kept ignoring good sense.”

“I…I didn’t want you to worry and I took care of myself. I didn’t know all that shit was going to unfold and if you did, you served me right up,” I teased. “I’m sorry too. I just need you to give me some time. This was hard for me. I didn’t want to be the one to surrender, but I was and it hurts.”

“I’m still glad you did,” He chuckled lowly.

“Gabe, really? It’s not the time, okay? Normally, it’d be funny, but I’m just not in the mood,” I almost whispered as I broke away from him and crawled back on the bed.

“I’m sorry,” He laughed as he laid on top of me.

“You’re crushing me,” I whined.

“Flip over and look at me,” Gabe commanded and raised himself up so I could roll over. I looked up at him and he was very serious looking. “Don’t shut me out. I’m not about to shut you out either. We’ll figure this out. I’ll relocate to wherever you find a job. I don’t care where it is; Timbuktu or Antarctica, I’m there. You’ll get another job. This is not the end of the world…maybe this happened for a reason? Maybe you are going to becoming a dean or director?”

“I don’t teach, so I don’t know what kind of Dean I could be. Student Affairs Deans are like on their deathbeds and clinging to it, so the likelihood of me getting something like that is slim to none, but I could get something else if I taught…”

“Use your Ph.D. and go bigger,” He smiled.

“What do you think I've been doing? They don't just give you the ultimate job because you have a Ph.D. I wish they did, but...I can’t think about that right now, but I will,” I said forcing a smile.

“Is it because you have a hot piece of ass hovering over you?” He wiggled his eyebrows.

“No,” I smiled and wrapped my arms around his neck and brought him down to me. “I get to spend some time with you now,” I laughed and Gabe nuzzled into my neck.

“We can have bunk sex again,” I chuckled into my neck. The breath on my neck gave me goosebumps.

“That’s my favorite,” I said sarcastically. “I feel all claustrophobic because you’re 10 feet tall and the bunk is only so big, which is why you generally sleep on the couch, but yeah, bunk sex.”

“I perform my best in the bunk,” He kissed my neck.

“Before we get carried away…” I laughed as he hit the crook in my neck that was ticklish.

“What time do we leave? I have to go to the office collect my stuff and leave my keys…” I pushed Gabe away for two seconds.

“We have a 9:55 flight out of JFK. I’ll get you to the office by 5, pack you up and then bring it back and head to the airport, now just relax,” He smiled.

“Okay, but one thing first,” I said sitting up and scooting back against the headboard of the bed. Gabe sat on my legs and waited for me to say something. “Well, okay like 3 things,” I smiled a bit and he was paying attention. “First, I missed you. Second, I love you. And thirdly, I have yet to kiss you and that’s a shame,” I stated matter-of-factly. I sat up and cupped his face in my hands and kissed him.

“Two things, on my end,” Gabe said as he spoke about an inch away from my lips. I nodded. “Maybe three, but one, I missed you so much too, second I love you and I just want you to always be safe and three if I don’t get your clothes off soon I’m going to throw a tantrum,” He smiled and nibbled on my bottom lip.

“Clothes will be off shortly. Do you need any bread in that stomach? I’m into trying new things, but really vomiting on me is not something I’m into…” I teased as I unzipped his hoodie.

“I thought you might like that? No?” He laughed and threw his sweatshirt to the side. “I stuffed myself with every carb I could to get sober enough to get on the plane. I need to work them off now,” He said as he undid the tie in my dress and I pulled my arms out of the sleeves.

“See, I’m already out of my clothes. The joys of wearing a wrap dress,” I laughed and Gabe took down my tights.

“I know you’re sad about the job, but everyone that loves you is relieved you’re no longer going to be around Lucas…I hope you know that,” Gabe said as he propped himself over me on his elbows.

“I know and that’s why I did it. I did it for me and for everyone in my life…I’m sorry again it got so out of hand.”

“Stop being nice to people,” Gabe teased and kissed me again.

+++

“Are the guys gonna be okay with me on the bus for so long?” I asked as I finished packing my suitcase.

“That’s a dumb question. They love you and Victoria can’t wait for you to come on the bus. We just fart on her and push her around. She needs an ally,” Gabe said as he came into the bedroom from the shower.

“You’re lucky you found a girl like her that can put up with your shit. I’m excited to see her too,” I zipped up my little suitcase and fell back on the bed and waited for Gabe to get ready.

“While you pack up I may go and pick some stuff up at the store…is that cool?” Gabe asked throwing on boxer briefs and a t-shirt.

“Yeah, totally, since we spent the afternoon in bed. Can you get me some hot tamales for the bus and plane,” I stretched on the bed.

“Of course, we should get going though,” Gabe threw on a pair of jeans and his sneakers. I glanced at the clock it was after 4, we were going to hit traffic.

I grabbed my suitcase and brought it into the living room. I threw on a pair of sneakers I had by the door and grabbed the keys to the car out of the bowl by the door. Gabe came quickly behind me and we headed to the car.

Gabe drove me to work and dropped me off right as people were leaving. I wanted to at least be able to say good-bye to Margot and not leave her in the dark. Gabe was going to hit the store and I gave him a quick kiss before rushing to my building, up the stairs and to my office.

Margot was just shutting out the lights as I skidded in.

“Hey!” She smiled.

“Hey…” I said out of breath from the jaunt across the quad and up the stairs. “Gotta talk to you really quick,” I said taking a few deep breaths to get my breathing back to normal.

“Christoph already told me,” She said nervously. “This sucks,” She gave me a hug.

“I should have told him not to say a word!” I laughed and hugged her back.

“What are you going to do?” She asked politely.

“I’m gonna go on tour with Gabe for a bit and then I have my hearing and we’ll see what happens with that. Then I’m off to Europe with Gabe again and then we’ll see what happens,” I said letting her go finally.

“God, I wish I had a rockstar husband. I’d totally quit and go on tour,” Margot said excitedly.

“It’s not as glamorous as it sounds. A bus with like ten people on it, showers being sparse and being kept up by everyone all the time, trust me, you’re lucky where you are.”

“I gotta run, I’m sorry, but I am picking up my brother from the airport. If I’m a minute late I will hear about it for the week he’s in town,” She apologized.

“I’ll call you. Have fun with your brother. I’ll miss you!” I gave her another hug.

“We’ll hang out, don’t worry. You’re my connection to the rock world,” She teased and I just smiled as she waved and walked down the hall.

I pulled out a few banker’s boxes we had in the office and put them together on my desk and started sorting through my desk. I put all my pictures and schottische’s that were around my office and on my desk in a box and then started on my drawers.

“You really thought I drugged you?” I heard and I shot up from my leaning into my drawers, startled. My heart was racing.

“Lucas what are you doing here?” I asked as I shoved some files into another box.

“You think I drugged you the other night?” He asked angrily as he stood in my doorway.

“There were too many coincidences for it not to have been you…It was really convenient that you got me my drink and you also found me passed out. Sounds fishy to me,” I said sarcastically as I crossed my arms over my chest.

“Come on Sadler, do you think that’s like me? I mean, sure I come on a little strong, but it’s all in good fun. Sometimes we need our boundaries tested,” He smirked as he walked a little further into my office. I backed up instinctively.

“I don’t need the boundaries of my professional life tested, thank you.” I was short and a little bit nervous.

“I was talking about your sex life. Your relationship with your husband who didn’t seem to want you until I showed interest in you,” Lucas raised an eyebrow at me as he watched my reaction to that statement.

“Little you know about my relationship then,” I scoffed. “What do you want anyway? I quit, aren’t you happy?”

“Happy? No. I enjoyed seeing you on a daily basis,” He smiled and crept closer into the office. “Good luck getting another job like you had.”

“I’ll find something that makes me happy and maybe that’s not in this field,” I walked closer to my desk and put my hands on the edge and propped myself up on them.

“I’ve gotten off track…” He shook his head playfully and then looked back up at me. “You know what else is funny about you accusing me of drugging you?”

“What’s that?” I asked curtly.

“My son got to watch me get pulled out of our house by the cops, handcuffs and all. I will never forget that. He looked so scared and confused, just like I was.”

“I didn’t tell the police to go to your house and make a scene in front of your son. They went because they had to because you violated your protective order just like you are now,” I said smartly. I didn’t know if the way I was talking to him was me asking for it, but I was holding my ground. “I should call them right now, they’d love this. Just helps me for our hearing in January to show what a stalker you are,” I said through gritted teeth and I picked up my cell phone. I dialed Gabe because he was on speed-dial.

“Don’t call them,” He said and swatted the phone out of my hand and it skidded across the room. “I just want you to know I didn’t drug you. That’s ridiculous. You weren’t even supposed to be there, so how would I have planned that? Tell me?” He asked furiously getting in my face.

“I don’t know Lucas, but it all seems very suspect doesn’t it?” I screamed back.

“I don’t think I’d have to drug you for you to want to have sex with me anyway,” He said smugly as he backed away a bit.

“You’d need to put me under for me to ever have sex with you. Get the fuck out of my office, now!” I commanded and went and picked up my desk phone to call 911.

“Don’t!” He screamed and ripped the entire phone out of the wall. “Sorry…” He apologized genuinely. “I just want to talk about it. I would never do that to you,” Lucas almost sounded like he was about to cry.

“Fine, you didn’t drug me,” I said dryly just giving into his request to believe he didn’t do it.

“You think I did still,” Lucas started to pace and run his hands through his hair.

“I don’t know what to believe, Lucas…” I sighed and stood up straight to give myself more confidence.

“Did you want me to drug you?” He asked as he stopped pacing and turned to look at me.

“What?” I asked with a laugh, he couldn’t be serious.

“Did you want an excuse to be with me?” He asked getting closer to me, I backed up toward the wall behind me.

“Lucas, don’t let your ego get too big,” I chided. “That is and was definitely not the case,” I swallowed hard.

“It’d be very convenient for you to fake being drugged so I’d sleep with you,” He stressed convenient, as if he were mocking me.

“Are you fucking serious?” I stepped to the side so he wasn’t so close to me.

“I’m very serious. I don’t want you to touch me let alone have sex with me,” I said trying not to show how scared I was all of a sudden. I moved away from him again.

“I don’t think you’re being honest with yourself, Sadie,” He said dryly and lunged toward me.

Lucas pushed me up against the short bookshelf and I knocked a plant on the ground. He took my wrists and pulled me forward and a little to the side so I was backed against a full wall. I struggled the entire time.

“I’m not in denial, Lucas,” I said trying to wriggle myself from his grip. “I think you’re in denial! You think I want you and I don’t,” I said and spit in his face. He slammed me harder against the wall and held me by the throat with one hand and wiped his face with the other.

“I see you like it dirty,” Lucas laughed. “I’m not going to do anything to you. I just want you to tell the cops I didn’t do it,” He said as he ran a hand up my shirt and up my back. I cringed at his touch and kept trying to kick him, but he had his body against my legs now after I tried one time.

“I’ll tell them you didn’t drug me, but you’re fucking insane and you should have your son taken away! Think about your song Lucas. Think about Matthew and how he needs his father. He needs a sane father,” I pleaded trying to hit him where it hurt the most.

“Don’t talk about Matthew,” He snapped and slammed my shoulders against the wall again. I hit my head again pretty hard.

“Stop this Lucas, Please,” I cried. “I know you feel like things have gotten out of hand and you’re reacting, but it doesn’t have to be that way,” I tried to negotiate.

“Everyone thinks I’m this monster, but I’m not and now I really look like that,” He relented and walked away from me. “I don’t know what to do. I’m sorry for how I behaved…I can’t help that I am attracted to you. I could have helped the overt come-ons, but I couldn’t help myself,” He ranted and I tried to stand up. My head really hurt and I touched it gently.

“I’m sorry,” Lucas said and gave me a hand to help me up.

“Don’t fucking touch her again,” I was thrown back again as Gabe charged into the room and punched Lucas over and over again.

“Gabe! Stop!” I cried, he was going to kill him. I tried to scramble to my feet, but I was really dizzy. I crawled over to Gabe’s feet and pulled on them. “Stop!” I cried and Gabe stopped and crouched down and picked me up into his arms.

“The cops are on their way too,” He soothed as he brought me out into the waiting area and laid me on the couch. “I heard the whole thing,” He said as he sat on the side of me and stroked my face.

“I don’t think he drugged me,” I cried. “I may have complicated things more…”

“He’s crazy, Sadler…He’s capable of it. Don’t get worked up, okay? We’ll get you help,” Gabe took me in his arms and laid his head on my chest.

“I’m not dying,” I struggled to laugh. “I just hit my head a few times,” I assured him and ran one of my hands through his hair.

The police and the ambulance came shortly after Gabe arrived. Lucas was conscious, but just stayed on the floor so he didn’t get beat up any more. I was taken to the hospital as well and treated, I had a concussion. The police eventually came to question me and get my statement about what happened. I gave them the whole story and left nothing out, even me doubting him drugging me. I just couldn’t go on without getting it off my chest. I had this guilt now or maybe it was Stockholm Syndrome?

“Sadler Saporta?” A doctor asked as she opened the door to my room.

“That’s me!” I croaked, my throat was so dry.

“I was looking over your chart and noticed something,” She said as she stood at the foot of my bed. Gabe had gone to get something to drink and call his management and the band.

“What’s that?”

“It says you had a fainting spell this past weekend and you were here, correct?” She asked me while flipping through my chart.

“Yes, that’s correct.”

“Well, what they didn’t tell you is that you had really low blood pressure, which probably caused it. You were also very dehydrated and we want to hook you up to an IV and keep you overnight for observation. Just to be safe, is that okay?” She asked politely.

“Yes, that’s fine,” I sighed and Gabe came back into the room.

“Is she doing well?” Gabe asked hesitantly.

“We’re actually going to keep her overnight and get her hydrated. A nurse will be back in soon with your IV,” The doctor said and was out the door.

“What’s going on?” Gabe asked as he sat next to the bed.

“Apparently I have not been drinking enough water and it caused me to have a drop in my blood pressure, which probably caused my fainting spell the other night. Probably didn’t help that I had wine…” I groaned.

“I need you to be on your flight though and I’ll meet you in a few days, okay?” I rolled on my side to look at him.

“I am taking a red-eye now. Don’t worry, okay? I’ll be here and I’ll be back to get you and bring you with me. I’ll charter a car if you can’t fly, okay?” I just nodded and Gabe kissed my forehead.