I Love You. Even Though We're Setting Ourselves Up For Heartbreak

E-mails between me and a friend. Will I ever ever be able to announce my unrequited love?

He's the guy I sat next to in maths at middle school. He's the guy that my friends teased me about fancying when I was 12, even though I didn't. He's the guy who asked me out several summers ago but I turned down because I didn't want to be with him like that. I liked him as a friend.

We're older now. 17, turning 18 in the next few months. Off to University in September.

He's now the guy that one of my best friend fancies but she doesn't have the guts to do anything about it. She told me this around a year ago. The only problem is, now I like him too but I can't do anything about it, because she got there first. Going after him would make me a backstabbing bitch. Right?

I've just come out of a really dark patch, and things are starting to look up for me. I've got a place at a really great Music College starting next year. I'm finally starting to escape from my dominating self consciousness.

I've just seen him in a new light. My stomach keeps churning whenever I see him. I'm desperate to talk to him but he's being his usual nonchalant self.

New Years eve me and my close mates went to the local Italian restaurant before going back to mine to bring the new year in. I was talking to him about how I'd barely seen him over the last few months and we needed to catch up. I invited him back to mine along with the others but he couldn't come. This was when he suggested we should go on a coffee date sometime.