The Stars Are Fading Away

Feel your heart
It breaks within your chest now
Try to get some rest now
Sleep's not coming easy for awhile

I tried to get to sleep that night, but no matter which way I turned my head ached. I hated sleeping on my back, but now both sides of my head were bruised, and it posed a problem.

I gave up and started thinking about Wren.

I had met Wren when Grace had dragged me off to a bar. I didn't like bars. I hated how everyone was all sweaty, and drunk people were extremely annoying. I just sat at the bar and had one beer. Wren had sat next to me and started talking. He wasn't completely trashed. We exchanged numbers.

That was almost six months ago, when Wren was still in college, when I was a freshman. I had been with him ever since. He dropped out of college at the end of his junior year. He was almost two years older than me. He was so nice at first, but I think he had been hiding some major drinking from me for awhile. I'd seen him violently angry before, but he had never hit me. I hadn't seen him hit anyone before.

I don't know why he thought I would cheat on him. I loved him. I told him I loved him every day. I guess Wren could get pretty jealous, but I don't get how he would suddenly jump to me cheating on him.

What bothered me is that that was the first time he said I love you back. He just hit me, then tells me he loves me. Isn't it supposed to hurt you to hurt the one you loved?

What makes even less sense is I'm thinking about this so out of order. He struck me with his fist, that's physical abuse. But what I'm wondering about is why he said I love you after he did it. I should be thinking about police and trials and witness protection. At the very least I should be thinking about how to leave him.

I rolled over and grabbed a pillow from the side of the bed. I hugged it tightly to my chest and let a few tears escape.

Suddenly, my phone rang. It started playing the ringtone I had set for Wren.

Hearing it made me cry harder.

I finally picked up the phone and looked at the display name

--Wren <3--

Maybe he has apologizing. I sighed and picked up the phone.

"Hello." My voice echoed in my ear, and it sounded so hollow and tired. It scared me.

"Amber."

"Yes?"

I waited for him to continue.

"Yes?"

"Amber, I shouldn't have done that. But you were lying to me." He spoke quietly.

Anger flared in me. Why didn't he trust me? I bit back an anger response and stayed silent.

"I love you, Amber. Please don't leave me."

"Wren, I love you too. I couldn't leave you."

As soon as it left my mouth I realized how stupid I was to tell him that.

Wren breathed a sigh of relief. "Do you want to hang with me and the guys tomorrow? It's Saturday."

I didn't like Wren's friends, but I should go if he's trying to make it up to me.

"Sure. What time are you picking me up?"

"Around eleven?" I could hear the smile in his voice.

"Sure. Bye, Wren."

"Bye." I closed the phone onto the bedside table and collapsed back into bed. I closed my eyes and fell asleep instantly.

Co-dependency is a bad quality of mine.