The Stars Are Fading Away

So take a deep breath, throw it all away

Pressures of finals were pushing down on everyone. I kept spending all my time studying. My phone stayed off. I only left my room for meals.

The week before the exams, I decided to take a break. I looked at my phone, deleting all messages from Wren. There were a couple from Mason, left a few days ago. The first was asking if I was okay after my outburst. The second was asking me to call him back. I pressed the redial button.

He picked up on the last ring, seconds before the machine.

"Hello?" He sounded tired.

"Hey, Mason, you called?"

"Two days ago," he said, chuckling.

"I've been studying 24/7. My phone was off the whole time."

"Nerd."

"You know you do that too."

"I put my phone on vibrate. That's different."

I snorted. "Sure."

"Change of subject. Have you been… okay?"

I bit my lip. The truth was that I'd tried not to think about the conclusion I'd come to a week ago. I would worry about it when I needed to. That wasn't what Mason was talking about, though. He didn't know yet.

"Yeah. Normal, I guess."

"Has he bothered you?" There was hatred in his voice.

"I ignored everyone's calls."

"Good. So while you're on the phone, I think I'll procrastinate a little. What are you doing for break?"

I laughed. "I don't know, actually. My parents haven't called about anything yet. I'll probably spend Christmas with them. You?"

"Eh. My parents and I aren't on the best terms."

"But it's Christmas! Time of family!"

He chuckled. "I'm Jewish, actually."

"Really?"

"Yup. Not practicing, of course," he said, and I could hear a wry smile in his voice. "Coby's hanging out, too. He can't afford flights."

"That sucks."

"Mmhm."

There was silence for a few moments before he broke it, a little tentatively.

"Are you completely sure you're okay?"

I took a deep breath. "Yeah. I was just… I don't know. Stress."

"I wake up and you're crying. You say everything is wrong, and then you refuse to go into more detail. It's just stress?"

"I had a rough day. PMS." I hated lying to Mason. It was easier over the phone, since he couldn't read my expression.

There was another silence as he tried to gather his thoughts, or tell if I was lying. "Just… Please tell me if something's wrong. I feel like your not telling me everything."

I laughed darkly. "Tell you if something's wrong? Everything's wrong, Mason. My whole life is fucked."

"You know what I mean."

His reply shook me. He knew something was up. He knew I was planning something. Mason read me way too well. He almost knew me better than I knew myself.

"I… I will."

More silence, then: "Please," and the sounds of him hanging up.