Consciousness and Confidence

"Ryyan, what the fuck is wrong with you this morning?" Matt asked, as I slammed the refridgerator door closed.

I turned to look at him, a sour expression etched on my face. "Nothing." I muttered.

If it wasn't obvious, I was still pissed as hell about Brian from the night before. After we had ended our argument, I literally grabbed JayJay from that guy she was very close to going all the way with, took her keys, and drove us both back to our house. Well, first I drank myself into a very comfortable oblivion.

Drinking and driving is something I am most seriously against. I would have never considered doing it if I wasn't as upset as I was. My biggest issue now was why was I so upset.

Brian shouldn't matter to me. Nor should his opinions. And yet, I found myself compelled to go over to his house and explain ever minute of what had actually occured yesterday.

"Something is definitely wrong." Matt said, seeing right through my gruff lie. "Tell me."

I sighed, walking back towards the stairs and ignoring his command. "Ry, tell me what's wrong!" he called from the kitchen.

With one wave of my hand, I ended his attempts to make me feel better. Slowly but surely, I walked my way up the stairs and into my bedroom. I flopped down onto the bed, frustrated.

I shouldn't be upset as I am. Though, I'm worried as hell that because Brian is so mad he is going to tell someone that I drank, which wouldn't be true when he assumed it, but I did later. For that, I feel insanely guilty. I closed my eyes and rubbed my hands over my face, at the same time letting out an aggrivated groan.

At that moment, my door was thrown open, causing a loud bang. I jumped up in suprise. Jimmy was standing there, anger his predominant emotion. "Jimmy, what the hell?"

"You're coming with me." He ordered, walking over to me. I was about to retort when he growled out "Now."

I had never seen Jimmy look so angry. A little bit afraid, I nodded my head and followed him out of my room. When I got into the hallway, I found Matt with the same comfused expression that I was sure was on my face. "What's going on?" he asked me. I shrugged and shook my head.

As we walked down the stairs and neared the front door, Jimmy stopped and turned to Matt who had been oviously following us. "Matt, you have to stay here. I need to have a discussion with your sister, alone." Matt nodded once, obviously still bewildered and watched as Jimmy led me outside to his car.

I sat in the backseat and noticed Johnny sitting in the drivers seat. "Uhm, Hi Johnny."

"Hi." he replied, shortly. Okay, something was definitely up with these two.

"Is there a reason why we're sitting in Johnny's car, in my driveway?" I asked, unable to see the point in Jimmy's kidnapping.

Jimmy turned around from his seat in the front seat. "We're going for a drive. You don't get to talk anymore until we get to our destination."

Slightly upset at his tone with me, I asked "What's our destination?"

"I asked you not to talk, Ryyan!" Jimmy reminded, loudly.

From that moment on, I didn't talk at all. Jimmy had never once been upset with me before. I didn't like it. So, I sat quietly, pondering what exactly he could be upset about. Somehow, deep within me, I knew it could only do with last night. It scared the shit out of me.

Johnny pulled the car up to one of the local beaches. After turning the car off, he stepped out, as did Jimmy. I followed suit. They walked over to some of the rocks that were placed a few feet from where the parking lot ended and the beach began. We all sat down.

It was quiet for a minute before Jimmy sighed loudly. "I think, Johnny, you should explain what you saw to Ryyan."

Johnny nodded once, awkwardly before starting. "Well, I saw you last night at the party, Ry. You were sitting alone off the back porch, drinking what looked to be at least your sixth beer." My head feel to my feet as he said this. "You were alone, and then you just stood up and walked back into the house. I couldn't find you after that."

I didn't respond to them. I was ashamed of my actions last night, for sure. "Ryyan, what do you have to say?" Jimmy asked, anger still present in his voice. However, it was being over-taken by disappointment. That's exactly what I didn't want to hear.

"I don't have anything to say." I mumbled, looking up at the two boys. "I got so upset last night that all I could think to do was drink."

"Where was Brian?" Jimmy asked again, knowing that he was suppose to be with me.

"I don't know." I said, sternly. My anger for him came rushing back. "I don't give a fuck either. He's a piece of shit."

Jimmy sighed and put and hand on my shoulder, which I brushed off. Johnny just seemed to be uncomfortable with the entire situation. "I know you and Brian don't get along very much, but I assumed that last night you worked things out."

"Well, you were wrong." I snapped. Immediatly, I gave him an apologetic glance. "He accused me of drinking after he had ditched me at the party. All that happened was some kid spilt his drink all over my shirt, then gave me one of the ones he was wearing. He thought I fucked that guy."

"But, Johnny saw you drinking." Jimmy added. I nodded, in agreement.

"He saw me drinking after I got in a fight with Brian." I clarified. "Before that, I hadn't even touched one drop of alcohol."

"I see." Jimmy said, coldly. I looked up to see him staring off with an angry expression. At once he stood up and began walking back to the car. Johnny and I stole a glance at each other before following him. He walked over to the driver's seat of the car. "Johnny, give me your keys. We're making a stop before we go back to Ryyan's house."