Is This Heaven? or Hell?

Isabella's P.O.V

Groaning I rolled over and shoved my face into the pillow. I took a deep breath, but stopped when the pillow didn't smell like mine.

Opening my eyes I found that I wasn't in my bed, but was in Brian's. Thoughts of last night came to my mind, as I tried to remember when I feel asleep.
I looked to my side thinking Brian would be there but he wasn't.

I sighed and got out of bed, passing the bathroom I knew Brian wasn't there. When I opened the door to mine and Nicole's room, a smile made its way on my face.

Brian was laying across our bed, his hair sticking every where and his mouth wide open. Walking over to the dresser I grabbed Cole's camera, knowing that this was a moment I'd want to see again. I took a few pictures before laying next to him, snapping a picture of our faces together, weird I know.

I was going to wake him up but didn't, I just sat there watching him. I'm really starting to like him. I know I've only known him a few days, but it feels like some much longer. Its weird because I'm not like this with guys, I don't just kiss people I've known for less then a day. I can't put my finger on it, but there's something different about him. Something that makes me want to let go. And that something scares the shit out of me. Nicole's the out going one not me, I'm the one that sets back and watches everyone have fun, but he makes me want to be the person that starts the fun. Does that make sense?

I really don't want to leave, not just because of Brian. But because of everyone. I was so happy to get out of this hell hole, but now I want to be here more then anything. And as much as Nicole says she doesn't, I know she feels the same way. And that's why I'm leaving it to her if we stay or not.

I was pulled out of my thoughts when Brian spoke. "Tell me what your thinking."

"If I told you, I'd have to kill you." I smiled.

He opened his eyes to look at me. "I'll take that chance."

I shook my head, "It was nothing...but I do have something to ask you."

"Go on."

"When did I fall asleep and why are you in here?"

He laughed. "You feel asleep around 3 we were watching men in black, and I thought I'd be nice, and sleep over here."

I smiled at him, and kissed his chin "Thank you, most guys just would have stayed."

"I'm not most guys." he said laying a soft kiss on my lips.

"What time is it?" he asked pulling away.

"Like 9, the weddings at 3" he nodded and got out of bed, pulling his pants on over his boxers.

"Where's Cole?" I asked.

"I knew you didn't want her sleeping on the couch, so I went down to get her, but they were out cold."

"Who's they?"

"Bam and Nicole, they were asleep in the living room." he told me.

"Its a wonder they didn't kill each other in their sleep." I laughed.

"Maybe they tried. They both had this weird look on their faces."

I nodded my head, but fallowed him out of the room and down the stairs.

"What that hell are you doing?" I asked Raab who was standing over Nicole.

"Drawing on Bam." I turned to look at me.

"Bam?" I asked.

Raab moved out of the way, and sure enough there was Bam. He was on one side of the couch and Nicole's legs was on him.

"Wake them up." Ape said walking into the room.

"But... I wasn't done." Raab whined.

"You sound like a baby." Brian laughed at him.

"Shut up man."

"You get Cole, I'll take Bam." Raab sighed before walking over to Bam.

"Bammie Wammie wake up sweetie Pie." It took all I had not to laugh, he sounded just like April.

Right before I yelled I heard Bam say something along the lines of '10 more minutes, please mom?'

I laughed but went next to Cole's ear. "Up bitch NOW!!"

She jumped up and looked around the room, before slapping me. "I was having an AMAZING dream."

I laughed at her before pulling her up. "Come on I think Ape cooked."

We left the yelling guys, and waked to the kitchen where April and Phil were.

"You girls hungry?" Phil asked.

"I am, whatcha got?"

I picked what I wanted and started eating. But Nicole was just looking off into space. "Hey what's up?"

She looked at me with a blank face. "I'm just thinking."

"About?"

"A lot of things, but one stands out the most."

I nodded my head, but didn't push it. I knew Cole and if she wanted me to know she would tell me.

"Man when I go home, I'm gonna miss this food so much!" Brian said shoving a piece of bacon into his mouth.

"doesn't your mom cook?" Ape asked.

"Yeah, but I live like an hour away from her, Matt's wife cooks too, but not like this."

I looked at Bam, to see him looking at Nicole with a thoughtful face. while she just looked at her plate.

Dunn was setting next to me, and I knew he went down to Bam last night. "Did something happen with them last night?" I asked so only he could hear.

He looked at me and nodded his head, "Last night when Cole was asleep Bam said that he L-"

"Isabella, can you help me with something?" Bam asked.

I nodded my head and walked behind him, until we were in Dunn's room.

"What do you no-" I started.

"Tell Nicole you don't want to leave." he said cutting me off.

"What?"

He sighed and set on his bed. "If you tell her, you don't want to go, then she will stay."

He wants her to stay. "You want her to stay?"

"Yes I want her to stay. You know it, Ape and Phil know it, the guys know it, hell even Brian knows it."

"That's very true." I smiled at him. "But I can't tell her I want too."

"Why not? You want to don't you?"

I nodded, "Yeah I want to, but what if she doesn't."

He sighed and flung himself back, so he was laying down.

"Fuck!! Why can't she just see that I love her!" he yelled, but calmed down once he looked up at me. "I didn't mean to hurt her when I left, I just..... I want her so much."

I set down beside him, and put my head on his shoulder.

"You can't always have what you want." he looked at me.

"I thought your supposed to say something to make me feel better."

I laughed, "You didn't let me finish. I was going to say, You can't always have what you want, unless.." I trailed off and smiled at him.

"Unless what?? Tell me women." he yelled.

"Unless it wants you back." he looked at me for a minute until it clicked.

"She wants me?"

I nodded my head, "I'm not 100% sure, but I know the loves still there."

Before I could see what he was doing, he flung himself at me. Making us roll off the bed.

"Thank you, Thank you, Thank you! That's A-fucking-mazin!" he kissed my cheek and ran out of the room.

I never thought in all my days of knowing him, Bam Margera, would ever seem that happy.

I laughed and walked out of the room, and into Nicole and I's room.

"Hey." I smiled at her.

"You wanna start getting done now, or when?"

"Um... Now I guess, I'm gonna go get a drink."

She nodded and I walked out of the room, and to the kitchen.

"I don't want you to leave." I jumped as two arms wrapped around my waist.

"Brian... I have too." I sighed.

"No you don't. You can stay here, maybe go back home with me for a while." he said kissing the side of my neck.

"Its not that easy, I can't just leave Nicole."

"You wouldn't be leaving her, if you stay then shed be leaving you."

I shook my head. "You know what I mean, she's my best friend, my family. If she isn't staying then I'm not either, can you just understand that?"

"You know what your a fucking tease! You act like you like me, and make out with me. Then just leave like nothing!" he yelled.

"I'm the fucking tease? I told the first night you got here I was leaving, yet you still done it. So if I'm a tease then so are you!" I walked out the back door slamming it shut, and walked over to Phil who was setting by the pool.

"Where's Bam?" I asked a little madder then needed.

"He left, is something wrong?"

I shook my head, "I'm fine, do you think he'll mind if I take the hummer."

"No just take it."

I told him thanks and walked to Bam hummer. I need to breath and I knew just the place to go. I texted Cole and told her where I was going, the stated my drive.

10 minutes later, I pulled into the old broken down house on the hill. I know not your idea of where I was going was it?

I walked around the side of the house, and down the path to the lake.

I sighed and set down on a rock, taking a deep breath I put my head in my hands. Today is so fucked up, and we still haven't even gotten over the wedding.

And Brian? What was his deal? I've already told him, that if she didn't want stay then neither did I. Which I can't help but think how bad I DO want to stay.

And then don't even get my started with Nicole, I mean yeah she's like my everything but come on, make up your damn mind. Its either you want Bam or you don't, its st-

"You too huh?" I almost screamed when the voice broke me from my thoughts.

I turned to see Bam standing there, his hands shoved in his pocket.

"Yeah, it felt like the right place." I told him.

"You remember when we would just come out here, and get away from everyone?" he asked setting down beside me.

I smiled at the thought,"I Remember when Cole and I was staying with you guys, and we camped out here for like 4 days."

He laughed. "Yeah Ape thought she lost you girls, she was gonna kill me when she found out I had you."
I laughed, "Do you ever come out here?"

"Yeah every once in a while, no body knows it though."

I rolled my eyes "Because God help you, if any one ever found out."

"Shut up." he looked down but back up at me. "Do you ever wonder what our lives would be like if we didn't leave West Chester?"

I nodded my head slowly. "All the time... I think its something everyone wonders at one point in their lives."

"Are you ready to leave?" he asked.

"I guess were both almost packed."

He laughed, "That's not what I meant, are You ready to leave?" he asked again.

"Fuck no." I laughed.

"I don't want you guy to leave."

"I'm with ya brother."
I smiled.

We set around just talking until I got a call from Ape saying to get my ass back, because the wedding started in 2 hours.

*~*~*~*~*

"What took you so long?" Nicole asked as she put her make-up on.

"I went to the old downland place to think, but Bam showed up so we just talked."

She nodded her head and I went to get in the shower.

When I got out Cole was dressed.

"I think I like that dress better on then I did on the hanger."

She looked at me shocked, "I thought you said you loved it?"

"I did, and I do. Its just looks better on you." I told her as I started to put my make-up on.

"So...." she trailed off.

"So what?"

"What was with the yelling today?"

I sighed, and started to put my eyeshadow on. "Just Brian... He's such a girl, I swear. He's all upset because he doesn't want me to leave."

She looked as if she was think about something. "Do you want to leave?"

I rolled my eyes, "Why the hell does everyone keep asking me that?"

"Because I think they're afraid to ask me." she laughed.

"Of course I don't want to leave, but if you don't want to stay then neither will I." why is it so hard for people to understand that?

"I'm sorry I just..." she stopped, trying to find the words.

"Hey don't worry okay? Now help me fix my hair." I smiled at her.

After she curled my hair I got dressed,

"Ready?" she asked.

I nodded my head and we walked down the stairs, where everyone but Brian was setting.

"You girls look beautiful." April smiled as she kissed our cheeks.

"Damn Nicole, if I didn't have a girlfriend, I'd.. " Dunn trailed off as he looked over at Bam who was glaring at him.

"You'd what?" I smirked, wrapping my arm around her shoulders.

"Um... I'd... Bam loves her." he blurted out.

I looked at Bam who looked like he would burst any minute, and Nicole looked like she had nothing but hope in her eyes.

The looked on Bam's face went from mad to hate. "Yeah I'll love her when she's gone." he said before letting out a deep laugh.

"Bam." Phil looked at his dick for a son.

"No Phil its cool." Cole told him. "I guess in that case I love Bam even more then he loves me." Nicole smiled and walked over to set by Raab.

Raab have her a sorry look, and she just smiled like nothing was wrong.

I set down by Bam and rammed the heel of my shoes into his foot.
"What the fuck was that for?" he asked under his breath.

"Your a jackass you know that? Why the hell would you say that?"
I smiled at Ape who was looking at us weird.

"I just flipped, I didn't mean it." he said looking down.

"Yeah well she doesn't know that."
"I'm sorry."

"Then start acting like you are."
I told him as Brian walked into the room.

Now the word 'Sexy' did nothing for the man standing in front of me. With his hands shoved in the front pockets of his skin tight black jeans, made him look like he was up to know good. He wore a white button up dress shirt, with a black blazer that had stones over the back.

I think the word I was looking for was 'Breath Taken' Yes, yes that's the word.

He walked over to me and help out his hand, "Can I talk to you?"

I thought about it but nodded my head, grabbed his hand and let him lead me into the kitchen.

"So what di-" he cut me off.

"Before you say anything let me talk?" I nodded my head and he went on. "I want to start by saying sorry, I shouldn't have said what I said."

"Yeah you shouldn't have, you already knew I was leaving, you knew I would do what ever Cole wanted to." I said standing against the counter.

"I know I knew, and that's why I feel so bad. Look I wouldn't leave my friends either, and I really am sorry." he said walking closer to me and wrapping his arms around me. "Do you forgive me?"

I couldn't help but melt at the smile he gave me. "I forgive you, but only because you smell really good."

He laughed and pressed his lips to mine.

"Good to see someones happy." we broke away to see Bam standing there.

"Its not our fault, your a ass hole."

He rolled his eyes. "Can we leave now?"

We all walked out of the house and into the Limo.

*~*~*~*~*

The wedding went great and Jewel looked amazing,

And now onto the after party.
I couldn't wait, to have some fun. After all tonight is our last night here, and my last night with Brian.
Speaking of Brian, he was now dancing with me. In the limo on the way here we talked about 'Us' and seeing as he only lived like 4 hours from me, we still want to see each other. Which I have to say fucking rocks.

"Brian... Watch your hands." I said moving his hands from my ass and placing them back on my hips.

"Come on, Bella...." he said kissing the side of my neck.

I pushed him back some. "I think we should set down."

He sighed, "Sorry."

We walked back to the table, where Bam and Cole was setting.

"Where's everyone else?" Brian asked grabbing a random beer and downing it.

"Dancing." The both replied.

the first words to Brian Adams, Heaven started to play and I looked over at Cole.

"You two should dance with us." I told them.

They kind of just looked at each other but got up and walked to the dance floor.

"Come one." I said tugging on Brian's arm.

"I thought you wanted to set down?"

"I did but now I want to hear what they say."

He rolled his eyes at me.

*~*~*~*

Back at the house. Bam's P.O.V!

After we got home I changed, then went to find Nicole. I really needed to talk to her, because we didn't do much of it when we were dancing. We sort of just stood there moving around.

I knocked on the bed room door and and Nicole opened it.

"Will you come walk with me?" I asked.

She nodded her head and fallowed me down the stairs and to the back door.

"Who's jacket is this?"

"I think its Raab's."

She put it on and then screamed, "Raab I'm taking your jacket!"

We walked down the drive way, and onto the road.

"So..." I trailed off.

"So... You wanted to talk?"

I nodded. "I'm really sorry I've been such a dick, while you were here. And I was just wondering if."

I couldn't finish, call my a pussy but I was scared.

"Wondering if what?" she asked.

"Um... Never mind."

She sighed and turned around. "You know what? I don't want to walk anymore."

Damn she was walking fast, it was hard to keep up with her. "Slow down." I told her trying to laugh.

But I guess she didn't think it was funny. "Look I real-" she cut me off.

"Don't come to the airport tomorrow."

"What?" I stopped.

"I don't want you at the airport, its plane to see you don't want to be there so don't come." and with that she walked into the house shutting the door, leaving me standing there shocked.