A Second Heartbeat

I work in a tattoo shop in Huntington Beach, California, I grew up in Los Angeles but shortly after my mom passed my dad I moved out here. He himself was a tattoo artist and thats were I learned from. He would sit me on his lap and let me watch him work. He was friends with Brian Haner senior (Papa Gates),my husbands dad...thats how the two of us meet. If only he new how Brian is now; how he treats me, talks to me. He use to be very nice and sweet but after he proposed to me and got married,it all went down hill.

I'm sitting at my station going on almost three and a half hours tattooing a lady with very Blond short hair and red tips,pale skin,thin who wanted a mermaid tattooed from the top of her right t shoulder down to the beginning of her hand. She was moving to Florida and wanted me to give her her first tattoo, no mater how long it took she wanted me to finish. Only god knows why. Brian says I'm the worst but if I might say I think this one is beautiful. It made me forget about everything bad in my life. The mermaid had the most gorgeous face under water and her soft brown curls and was greeted by two blue Grey dolphins smiling and swimming around her in the ocean blue sparkling water with star fish,seaweed and everything else imaginable from the ocean.

“Hey are you O.K Hun?”

“Kat?...are you alright? You look sick.” Steffanie (the patient) added looking over to the left at me

“Oh yes, sorry your almost finished.” She smiled happily and I applied a famous fake smile across my face getting back to work.

“You know what?” She looked at me, I didn't make eye contact...just worked.
“huh?”

“For this being your first tattoo, your doing amazing.” About 20 minutes passed. I scooted my chair back the I was sitting on and stood up taking off my inked up plastic gloves and threw them in the nearest trash can. I dropped the needles I used into some disinfected cleanser.

“Okay Steffi your all done.” I wiped tattoo gloss all over her newly sleeved right arm then walked her to one of the full body mirrors in the shop.

“Oh Kat, It's beautiful.” She covered her mouth while still looking in the mirror. It looked as if a few tear wanted to escape. Still smiling she pulled me in for a big hug giving me a hug. It felt so good to have someone hug and appreciate me other than my two friends Tabitha and Amanda. I closed my eyes and gladly hugged back. It felt like a huge weight off my shoulder.

“Kat?..you should really join this contest hon. First prize is $25,000 2nd and 3rd will get lots of cool prizes but I know you'll get first, please?” She paid Matt in the front and walked out, I sat in my chair and read the flyer to myself.“ATTENTION ARE YOU AN INSPIRING TATTOOIST
LOOKING FOR YOUR “BIG BREAK” IN THE BUSINESS?
WELL HERES YOUR CHANCE, ON [3/25/09]”

“Shit thats in a few weeks” I continued reading the letter.

IN LAGUNA BEACH TATTOOIST FROM ALL AROUND
THE WORLD WILL GATHER AT THE TATTOO CONVENTION
AND SHOW OFF THEIR AMAZING SKILLS. BUT OF COURSE
THEIR CAN ONLY BE ONE WINNER AND THEIR PRIZE WILL BE:
25,000 DOLLARS. INTERESTED NOW? The second and third place winner will win a variety of prizes such as tattooing ink or machines.

“Kat?...here's your tip from that lady.” Matt said in his usual grumpy mood and walked to the back of the shop.

“50 bucks.” Awesome, I stuck it in my pocket as well as the flyer.

“There you are.” Amanda yelled questioned walking over with Tab.

“Shit their back.” I sighed.

“O.K, were back from the store! Come on lets go.” Amanda grabbed my arm and we all three ran to the restroom.

...

“Oh, shit!” I shouted.

“What does it say.?” They both questioned.

“Oh god!,a pink smiley face.” I screamed pulling my pants up and barging out of the stalls.

“Are you sure?, let me see that.” Tabitha grabbed the pregnancy test from my hand.

“yep,..there it is.” She handed it back to me, I looked down at the pink smiley face.

flashback five weeks ago.

“I cannot believe I sleep with Brian.” I got up out of bed and walked to the door quietly...In a tip toe so he wouldn't awake.

“Last night was great....wasn't it?” Brian questioned sitting up smirking away....not bother in to cover himself. No, I fucking hated it, you got me drunk you asshole.

“Yes Brian.” I said softly under my breath so he could hear it while rolling my eyes with my back towards him. I Slightly closed the door hoping he would go back to sleep.

(End flashback)

“I thought you weren't were sleeping with your husband anymore.” Tabitha stated.

“I'm not!” I yelled feeling a tear running down my right cheek.

“He got her drunk and...” Amanda tried explain. I walked over to the sink in the restroom and washed my hands followed by my face. Tabitha has always been..kinda 'the slow one', thats what weed does to you.

“I can't believe you let him do that to you.” Tab said softly rubbing the upper right of my face. I just looked down and took a deep breath.

“It's just a bruise...I can never get away from Brian now.”

“What's this?” Manda questioned after I handed them the flyer from out of my pocket.

“You should go Kat, your the best tattoo artist we know.” I leaned against the wall and thought about it.

“$25,000?” Tiffany shouted. I smiled a little and nodded.

“Yeah, I was stoked when I read it.”

“With that money you can leave Brian and get your own little tattoo shop.” When Amanda said that my whole face lite up. That would be so amazing. Having my own tattoo shop and best of all, not having to be with him anymore.

“Yeah where they would need a tattoo shop; like Texas...or New Jersey. You can name it ...” Tab was interrupted.

Knock Knock Knock.

“What?” Amanda yelled.

“What the fuck are y'all lesbians doing in there? Get out and get back to work!” Mat angrily screamed. I threw the pregnancy test in the trash and cover it with brown paper towels before walking out.

“Hurry up Amanda,your always knocking off ... get back to work” Matt looked down at her.

“O' put a cock in it.” Amanda joked making the rest of us laugh. Matt tries to argue with Amanda, but always loses. The rest of the day went as slow as possible,not that i was complaining knowing that this time when i go home there gonna be more than fear inside of me. The other two girls and I began to outside like we always do to see if Brain was gonna pick me up today, he never really gives me an answer. After we cleaned up the shop,closed and locked everything. The three of us sat on the few steps in front of the shop.

“So,are you gonna tell him?” Tabitha asked as Amanda head lay on her shoulder. I looked over at the both of them.

“Well, if my plan works out and I save up enough money and maybe win the $25,000 prize money...he'll never even have to know.” I've been saving up money from my tips and paycheck the day after I sleep with Brian, I somehow new I was going to be in the situation.

“How much do you have saved up?” Amanda asked.

“Not much,$900.” I replied messing with my lip ring

“Thats good.” Tab nodded and then asked:

“Are you sure it's Brian's baby?” I made a 'Na shit moron face' towards her.

“Of course it's Brian's baby, you know me, I have never cheated.”

“Well at least she'll be cute,because Brian is pretty Hot!” Amanda and Tiffany smiled.

“Amanda, you have a husband...remember?”

“I know, but he's no fun.” She mumbled under her breath.

“Well...I have no problem trading, I'd rather have a husband who can't walk then one like mine.”

“No, it's okay.”

“Wait...how do you know she's a girl?” Tabitha tilted her head and asked.

“Because the smiley face on the pregnancy test was pink...not blue.” Amanda said very sarcastically.

“OH.” She smiled.

“She doesn't know sweetie.” I butted in with a smile.

“Look guys, my boobs are little.” Amanda randomly pointed out like always.

“They are not Amanda, there fucking huge.” I retorted.

Honk

“Shit there's Brian!” I replied standing up just before he pulled up. I brushed off my pants and gave them both a hug at the same time.

“And if you do tell him your-”

“shh!” I cut Amanda off.

“Hi Brian.” The two replied before walking to there cars. He smirked and drove off. It was about 7:00pm and he had the radio on playing Gun's 'N Roses 'Paradise City.' which he soon started singing.

“Take me down to the paradise city, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty. Oh would you please take me home, yeah.” He lowered down the volume and softly said under his breath.

“Ha, I wish” and continued chewing his gum. I closed my eyes and rested my head on the seat.

“Aren't you gonna give me a kiss.” He asked. I still sat there.

“Well?...Give me one!” He ordered. I placed a kiss on his perfectly shaped lips that I now found disgusting.

“You don't look happy to see me.” I looked out the passenger window. I'm never fucking happy to see you, mother fucker. I would rather swallow fire.

“Well are you happy to see me!?” He questioned taking his eyes off the road and looking at me.

“Yes Brian of course I'm glad to see you.” I lied.

“Wheres my money you made today?” I reached into my pocket and handed him all but 40 bucks I will soon add to the money I'm saving. Before I left I separated the money. The two twenties are in my bra. I only had about five patient's come in for me today and all together I had eighty bucks in tips. I get my real paycheck every two weeks its' usually around 600 dollars, which will soon turn into Brian's heroin and alcohol money plus the money he makes from selling drugs. He had a band before we got married but they gave up, It was the worst day of my life.

“Not, much here.” He giggled.

“Um, slow day.”

...

“Well were you gonna ask me how my day was?...Shit! I turned towards him and brought up a fake smile.

“How was your day Brian?” I held the two rows of my teeth tightly letting out my anger of his childish behaviors. Bitch.

“Eh,..you know. Nothing new.” Then why the fuck did you ask me to ask you cunt face?

“That's just great.” I spat lying again. A few minutes later we arrived at the house and before i could take a shower of course I had to cook him dinner.

“Brian?” I questioned walking towards him in the living room.

“What!?” he growled shooting up into his arm holding his beer between his legs.

“What do you want for dinner?”

“Shit I don't know just make me something,fuck you can't even think on your own anymore?” He yelled. I just walked back to the kitchen with my head down and started cooking.

“Kat?” He asked almost sentimental, as if he was going to apologize for yelling.

“yeah?” I turned quickly.

“Hand me that remote will ya'?” My mouth slightly dropped,but not enough for him to notice. I'm in the kitchen cooking your fucking dinner, the remote is sitting on the coffee table in front of you and you make me come and get it? You drugged up lazy son-of-a BITCH!

“Here you go sweet...heart.” He grabbed my face and gave me a kiss. I bit down on my teeth once again and walk back to the kitchen. I grabbed a towel and wiped his lips on mine. About thirty minutes later I had finished cooking him his favorite, Enchiladas; beans rice and homemade tortillas.

“Brian your-” foods on the table I sighed to myself. The bastard makes me cook for him and he passes out. I made me a plate and quickly ate and cleaned up my mess in the kitchen, put all the food in the fridge and turned out the light. I ran to my closet upstairs after making sure Brian was sill asleep and slipped the forty bucks in it. I closed the lid tightly and covered it with some old magazines and clothes.

“I really don't want this baby!” I cried a bit before going back down stairs holding a baby blue blanket. I grabbed the half full bottle of bud light stuck the syringe in it and threw it away. I took of he's shoes threw them somewhere where he wouldn't trip over them and make me get in trouble, then stripped of his black leather jacket. After I covered him with the blanket I flicked him off, making sure he couldn't see and walked away; back upstairs to our bed than thankfully he wouldn't be in begging for me to fuck me tonight.

...

I took off my cloths and turned the hot water on for the shower before stepping in and letting it travel down my body. I would have loved to enjoy it for about an hour of relax in the bath next to the shower but I really need to get off to bed. After a couple minutes I stepped out, dried my hair with my towel brushed my teeth put on one of my night gowns. I couldn't see much of a bump in my stomach looking in the mirror. As i sat on the bed I noticed my shoe box slightly sticking out, I got up to fix it then knelled at my bed praying to god that this will somehow work out. I turned of the lights before crawling back into bed.