Status: Finished
Killing Joy
Imaginary Dirt and Caught Up
“Come on, Nickins.. I’ll help you wash yourself” Beth was holding my body and led me to the bathroom of Zach’s RV.
“Yes, you should take a shower, baby… You’ve been out for hours” Zach agreed and let me and Beth walked to the back of RV where the bathroom laid.
Beth rubbed my back and I was sure she could hear my unsteady breath. She helped me to slide off my attire. I hadn’t got chance to wear my underwear, so when she slid off my tshirt she furrowed her eyebrows.
I looked into her eyes when she was about to ask. “Not now, Beth. Please..” I whispered. Beth sighed and nodded.
“But, can I ask you a question. Errmm.. it’s not about your run. But.. are you two dating? You and Zach?” Beth gave me a robe watching my eyes intently
I nodded weakly. Then, I came into the bathroom starting the shower leaving Beth.
“You’re sure you don’t want to be companied?” Beth ensured
“No thanks..” my eyes were cracked. I put the robe on the hanger and stood beneath the pouring shower. I was really wet and then suddenly felt dirty.
My tears were joining the downpour with sobs were let out through my teeth.
The memories were starting to motion along my head. The memories of the field of stars and..
Ca—
Shit! I even couldn’t call his name. He’s too disgusting to be called. I hated him. I want him die.
I hated him, and also I was scared of him. I didn’t want him to get me any further. Mom was wrong finding the right prince charming for me. He’s an asshole and I chose die than being married with him.
My body was shaky again as I kept scrubbing my skin off from the imaginary dirt that blanketed my body. Like I said before. I felt dirty.
In like a minute after a broke into deep tears, my body was sunk. And like so emo, I cried beneath the downpour regretting my life.
I didn’t know for how long I’d been showering, I just didn’t care. I wanted the water flushed every dirty feel that I got that time. But it was just useless.
“Nicky?? Nicky??” I heard someone pounded the bathroom door. And I didn’t know who it was because the voice was mingled with the shower.
I didn’t reply the voice but still sobbed.
“Nicky! Are you still there? Open the door!”
“NO.. LEAVE ME ALONE!” I yelled with cracked voice
And soon, another voice joined. “Nicky? Nicky, open the door… you’ve been there for like 2 hours” I could tell it was Beth who knocked and talked to me with her soft voice.
“Just leave me alone..” I cried
“Nicky! Open the goddamn door!!” another voice screamed as he or she tried to open the door vigorously. I slowly stood up and shakily wore my robe.
“Caleb.. easy”
“Nichole!” the voice turned to be mad and with that I slowly unlocked the door revealing Jack, Beth, Zach, and Cal—
I jolted and ran back to the bathroom closing the door. But Jack made good pulling me out from the bathroom.
“Nicky! What are you doing! You’ve been there for—“ Jack said and I cut him off
“Let me go!! LET GO!” I screamed like crazy as I glared in horrify toward Caleb. “OUT!”
Everyone’s head turned to Caleb and shot a look.
“I SAID OUT, ASSHOLE! OUTTT!” I cried with Beth holding my shoulder
“Nicky.. settle down” Beth soothed
“OUT!!” I still screamed at Caleb. My scream grew into wild whimpers, then Jack shot a you-should-go look to Caleb.
“Dollface, listen, I’m here fo—“ Caleb started as I slapped him making a huge loud slap voice through the RV.
“GET THE FUCK OUT!” I yelled making everyone fell in silence with tears kept falling down from my eyes.
Caleb winced and rubbed his cheek. Zach patted his shoulder, “Man, you should go. she’s still—“
Caleb shrugged off Zach’s hand from his shoulder and then he thumped his feet out from the RV.
Then, I found Jack’s hands were on my shoulder and led me to the bed in that RV. Jack was kneeling down in front of me as he stroked my head softly.
“Beth..” he turned his head to Beth “Could you please take Nicky’s clothes on her RV?”
“Jack..” I whined “I don’t want to be in that RV again…”
Jack nodded and smiled. “Alright baby.. don’t worry.. you’ll be in my RV. How’s about that?”
I nodded, “And with Zach” I pointed like a little girl who wanted a pony.
Jack frowned and looked at Zach but then turned to me again, “Okay, if that will make you happy” Jack pinched my chin lightly and then he got up to kiss my head. The RV door abruptly opened revealing Kyle, Jonathan, Rian, Jasey, Alex and Annie
“Nicky?” Kyle called. I lit up my head and watched Kyle sending my smile to him. Annie, on the other way shoved herself on the bed next to me and hugged me.
“I’m worried about you, Nicky… everyone said you’re wreck”
“Y-yeah..” I admitted quietly.
“Nicky, don’t do that again. You just ran everyone crazy” Alex joined. I exhaled longingly and bobbed my head.
Then after that, everyone hung around me trying to comfort me and making me smile. The affable fellow particularly wiped the tense on my shoulder and made me calmer.
Jack’s jokes always the most thing I needed that time. He once made me smile and everyone clapped their hands because they saw me smiling.
When we reached the dinner time, I banned myself to get out from the RV because I didn’t want to get a chance meeting the bastard. I chose to have dinner in the RV with Zach accompany me. We were having a silent dinner minus the loud munching from Zach because he ate the spicy food.
Zach suddenly watched me with his big eyes. “If you don’t mind, may I know your problem with Caleb?” he asked softly making me tensed
I stopped chewed for once and then followed by my shaking head. “I don’t want to talk about him, please..”
“Alright. Sorry” he replied as he leaned to me and kissed my lips softly
“WHOA!” We both didn’t hear the RV door was opened and revealed Jack who brought his plate into RV. Sounds like a drama, but it was really happening. Jack saw us kissing and I dunno if it would run good.
“What are you two doing?” Jack asked a bit harshly.
“Errmm…” Zach started “Jack, there’s something I need to tell you…”
Jack leaned forward toward us with a slight mad gesture “What? That you fucked my sister??” Jack took Zach by collar with his lanky features and glares.
“Jack, no.. we—“
“JACK!” I screamed and pushed his chest away from Zach “I like him! And that’s not your business if I fuck him” Shit! Did I just say fuck? I couldn’t handle myself to gasp after I said that word. I.. suddenly reminded the thing. Those horrible thing.
I was silent for suddenly and then I felt my shoulder became shaky again. Maybe it sounded I was so drama and overreacted, but it’s because I still could feel the traumatic events still bounded my back.
“But sissy! You’re married” Jack objected
I fisted my hand and then looked up at Jack. It wasn’t me who was replying him, but Zach held my shoulder.
“I’m sorry if I’m like the bad guy in front of your nose, but you should have known that your sister never loves her man. I like your sister, brah. Sorry, so we take the chance being together” Zach explained
“You just—“ Jack started again
“Jack, I like him! I never love Caleb, you knew it from the day one. Didn’t you?!” I demanded him and what did he reply? He groaned. He raked his fingers along his dark brown hair and the blonde streaks in frustration.
“You know mom wouldn’t be pleased hearing this”
“Then don’t tell her. And in fact I’m splitting up with him next month” I said squeezing Zach’s hand and he rubbed my back to comfort me.
In conclusion, Jack sighed in defeat. “Have your way, love birds” and with that he came forward to me with a plate still on his hand. He started to enjoy his food ignoring me and Zach. And I was like, what? Just that? I was expecting more from Jack. Jack alwayd became protective when it came to boyfie thingy. When I was still in middle school, every boys that I brought home whom Jack always teased. He never liked the boys that I brought home, he chose to extrude them and convinced me that the boys just screw up your life.
But since I moved to Britain, he lost his extent to become my protector away from boys. so it made my first boyfriend and first kiss belonged to that guy. That first guy who I had told you about. The one who tried to shack up with the new version of slutty Barbie girl.
And now, when I declared my relationship with Zach, Jack seemed very slow down. I watched him in disbelief until he looked at me with the chipmunk cheeks.
“What? Do you want to still eat your dinner or what?” he said ignoring my confusion look and then I decided to sit back again and took my plate. So did Zach.
When Jack was in the middle of eating his dinner, he suddenly blurted out, “So you two are like dating?”
Me and Zach just exchanged looks and then laughed.
“What do you think, Jackie?” I said pointing my fork at him
“Errr.. yeah?” then he grinned. I never found it normal when a brother found his little sister dates another guy when she’s already married with her husband, but Jack seemed quite pleased.
“Euw Nicky. You look like those women in that drama show. Cheating on their husband”
I rolled my eyes at Jack, “I said I never loved Caleb. So I don’t think it’s unnecessary if I cheat on him” I blahed and then smiled crookedly
“Ohh.. evil” Jack replied “Glad you’re back, Nicky. You seem normal again than this afternoon” I swallowed hard and then decided to enjoy my food.
My onyx hair was long enough to be loosened near from my chest. I wiped my hair behind my ear and then looked at Jack, “How’s Beth?”
With that Jack suddenly was choked. “Ithinkyoucanseeheralready.Shesfine” he coughed and hit his chest lightly to stop the choke.
Zach chuckled lightly, “She means you and Beth”
I suddenly turned my head to Zach and furrowed my brows, “How do you know about it?” me and Jack watched Zach hopefully and then Zach just grinned.
“Isn’t that obvious if Beth and Jack have some non platonic relationship?”
I laughed at Jack as Jack rolled his eyes. “I told you, we’re just friend”
“With benefits” me and Zach said in unison and then we snorted. I dunno what came to me. I was able to laugh after what I had through. Zach and Jack made me calm down and loosened up a bit.
“Hey…” Jack pouted
And then, we had a warm dinner far from everyone. After the dinner, Zach helped me bringing my suitcase off from Caleb’s RV and then to Jack’s RV. Me and Zach decided to swapped the RV with Jonathan and Marc. So Jonathan would be with Caleb, and Marc in the same RV with Austin.
It would be better without Caleb in the night, at least.
Well, for your information; I swore I could see his eyes darted on mine when I climbed into Jack’s RV with my suitcase. I glanced to him a bit and all I could see was he furrowed his brows in regret. For honesty, I dunno what was it meaning.
XXX
“Yes, you should take a shower, baby… You’ve been out for hours” Zach agreed and let me and Beth walked to the back of RV where the bathroom laid.
Beth rubbed my back and I was sure she could hear my unsteady breath. She helped me to slide off my attire. I hadn’t got chance to wear my underwear, so when she slid off my tshirt she furrowed her eyebrows.
I looked into her eyes when she was about to ask. “Not now, Beth. Please..” I whispered. Beth sighed and nodded.
“But, can I ask you a question. Errmm.. it’s not about your run. But.. are you two dating? You and Zach?” Beth gave me a robe watching my eyes intently
I nodded weakly. Then, I came into the bathroom starting the shower leaving Beth.
“You’re sure you don’t want to be companied?” Beth ensured
“No thanks..” my eyes were cracked. I put the robe on the hanger and stood beneath the pouring shower. I was really wet and then suddenly felt dirty.
My tears were joining the downpour with sobs were let out through my teeth.
The memories were starting to motion along my head. The memories of the field of stars and..
Ca—
Shit! I even couldn’t call his name. He’s too disgusting to be called. I hated him. I want him die.
I hated him, and also I was scared of him. I didn’t want him to get me any further. Mom was wrong finding the right prince charming for me. He’s an asshole and I chose die than being married with him.
My body was shaky again as I kept scrubbing my skin off from the imaginary dirt that blanketed my body. Like I said before. I felt dirty.
In like a minute after a broke into deep tears, my body was sunk. And like so emo, I cried beneath the downpour regretting my life.
I didn’t know for how long I’d been showering, I just didn’t care. I wanted the water flushed every dirty feel that I got that time. But it was just useless.
“Nicky?? Nicky??” I heard someone pounded the bathroom door. And I didn’t know who it was because the voice was mingled with the shower.
I didn’t reply the voice but still sobbed.
“Nicky! Are you still there? Open the door!”
“NO.. LEAVE ME ALONE!” I yelled with cracked voice
And soon, another voice joined. “Nicky? Nicky, open the door… you’ve been there for like 2 hours” I could tell it was Beth who knocked and talked to me with her soft voice.
“Just leave me alone..” I cried
“Nicky! Open the goddamn door!!” another voice screamed as he or she tried to open the door vigorously. I slowly stood up and shakily wore my robe.
“Caleb.. easy”
“Nichole!” the voice turned to be mad and with that I slowly unlocked the door revealing Jack, Beth, Zach, and Cal—
I jolted and ran back to the bathroom closing the door. But Jack made good pulling me out from the bathroom.
“Nicky! What are you doing! You’ve been there for—“ Jack said and I cut him off
“Let me go!! LET GO!” I screamed like crazy as I glared in horrify toward Caleb. “OUT!”
Everyone’s head turned to Caleb and shot a look.
“I SAID OUT, ASSHOLE! OUTTT!” I cried with Beth holding my shoulder
“Nicky.. settle down” Beth soothed
“OUT!!” I still screamed at Caleb. My scream grew into wild whimpers, then Jack shot a you-should-go look to Caleb.
“Dollface, listen, I’m here fo—“ Caleb started as I slapped him making a huge loud slap voice through the RV.
“GET THE FUCK OUT!” I yelled making everyone fell in silence with tears kept falling down from my eyes.
Caleb winced and rubbed his cheek. Zach patted his shoulder, “Man, you should go. she’s still—“
Caleb shrugged off Zach’s hand from his shoulder and then he thumped his feet out from the RV.
Then, I found Jack’s hands were on my shoulder and led me to the bed in that RV. Jack was kneeling down in front of me as he stroked my head softly.
“Beth..” he turned his head to Beth “Could you please take Nicky’s clothes on her RV?”
“Jack..” I whined “I don’t want to be in that RV again…”
Jack nodded and smiled. “Alright baby.. don’t worry.. you’ll be in my RV. How’s about that?”
I nodded, “And with Zach” I pointed like a little girl who wanted a pony.
Jack frowned and looked at Zach but then turned to me again, “Okay, if that will make you happy” Jack pinched my chin lightly and then he got up to kiss my head. The RV door abruptly opened revealing Kyle, Jonathan, Rian, Jasey, Alex and Annie
“Nicky?” Kyle called. I lit up my head and watched Kyle sending my smile to him. Annie, on the other way shoved herself on the bed next to me and hugged me.
“I’m worried about you, Nicky… everyone said you’re wreck”
“Y-yeah..” I admitted quietly.
“Nicky, don’t do that again. You just ran everyone crazy” Alex joined. I exhaled longingly and bobbed my head.
Then after that, everyone hung around me trying to comfort me and making me smile. The affable fellow particularly wiped the tense on my shoulder and made me calmer.
Jack’s jokes always the most thing I needed that time. He once made me smile and everyone clapped their hands because they saw me smiling.
When we reached the dinner time, I banned myself to get out from the RV because I didn’t want to get a chance meeting the bastard. I chose to have dinner in the RV with Zach accompany me. We were having a silent dinner minus the loud munching from Zach because he ate the spicy food.
Zach suddenly watched me with his big eyes. “If you don’t mind, may I know your problem with Caleb?” he asked softly making me tensed
I stopped chewed for once and then followed by my shaking head. “I don’t want to talk about him, please..”
“Alright. Sorry” he replied as he leaned to me and kissed my lips softly
“WHOA!” We both didn’t hear the RV door was opened and revealed Jack who brought his plate into RV. Sounds like a drama, but it was really happening. Jack saw us kissing and I dunno if it would run good.
“What are you two doing?” Jack asked a bit harshly.
“Errmm…” Zach started “Jack, there’s something I need to tell you…”
Jack leaned forward toward us with a slight mad gesture “What? That you fucked my sister??” Jack took Zach by collar with his lanky features and glares.
“Jack, no.. we—“
“JACK!” I screamed and pushed his chest away from Zach “I like him! And that’s not your business if I fuck him” Shit! Did I just say fuck? I couldn’t handle myself to gasp after I said that word. I.. suddenly reminded the thing. Those horrible thing.
I was silent for suddenly and then I felt my shoulder became shaky again. Maybe it sounded I was so drama and overreacted, but it’s because I still could feel the traumatic events still bounded my back.
“But sissy! You’re married” Jack objected
I fisted my hand and then looked up at Jack. It wasn’t me who was replying him, but Zach held my shoulder.
“I’m sorry if I’m like the bad guy in front of your nose, but you should have known that your sister never loves her man. I like your sister, brah. Sorry, so we take the chance being together” Zach explained
“You just—“ Jack started again
“Jack, I like him! I never love Caleb, you knew it from the day one. Didn’t you?!” I demanded him and what did he reply? He groaned. He raked his fingers along his dark brown hair and the blonde streaks in frustration.
“You know mom wouldn’t be pleased hearing this”
“Then don’t tell her. And in fact I’m splitting up with him next month” I said squeezing Zach’s hand and he rubbed my back to comfort me.
In conclusion, Jack sighed in defeat. “Have your way, love birds” and with that he came forward to me with a plate still on his hand. He started to enjoy his food ignoring me and Zach. And I was like, what? Just that? I was expecting more from Jack. Jack alwayd became protective when it came to boyfie thingy. When I was still in middle school, every boys that I brought home whom Jack always teased. He never liked the boys that I brought home, he chose to extrude them and convinced me that the boys just screw up your life.
But since I moved to Britain, he lost his extent to become my protector away from boys. so it made my first boyfriend and first kiss belonged to that guy. That first guy who I had told you about. The one who tried to shack up with the new version of slutty Barbie girl.
And now, when I declared my relationship with Zach, Jack seemed very slow down. I watched him in disbelief until he looked at me with the chipmunk cheeks.
“What? Do you want to still eat your dinner or what?” he said ignoring my confusion look and then I decided to sit back again and took my plate. So did Zach.
When Jack was in the middle of eating his dinner, he suddenly blurted out, “So you two are like dating?”
Me and Zach just exchanged looks and then laughed.
“What do you think, Jackie?” I said pointing my fork at him
“Errr.. yeah?” then he grinned. I never found it normal when a brother found his little sister dates another guy when she’s already married with her husband, but Jack seemed quite pleased.
“Euw Nicky. You look like those women in that drama show. Cheating on their husband”
I rolled my eyes at Jack, “I said I never loved Caleb. So I don’t think it’s unnecessary if I cheat on him” I blahed and then smiled crookedly
“Ohh.. evil” Jack replied “Glad you’re back, Nicky. You seem normal again than this afternoon” I swallowed hard and then decided to enjoy my food.
My onyx hair was long enough to be loosened near from my chest. I wiped my hair behind my ear and then looked at Jack, “How’s Beth?”
With that Jack suddenly was choked. “Ithinkyoucanseeheralready.Shesfine” he coughed and hit his chest lightly to stop the choke.
Zach chuckled lightly, “She means you and Beth”
I suddenly turned my head to Zach and furrowed my brows, “How do you know about it?” me and Jack watched Zach hopefully and then Zach just grinned.
“Isn’t that obvious if Beth and Jack have some non platonic relationship?”
I laughed at Jack as Jack rolled his eyes. “I told you, we’re just friend”
“With benefits” me and Zach said in unison and then we snorted. I dunno what came to me. I was able to laugh after what I had through. Zach and Jack made me calm down and loosened up a bit.
“Hey…” Jack pouted
And then, we had a warm dinner far from everyone. After the dinner, Zach helped me bringing my suitcase off from Caleb’s RV and then to Jack’s RV. Me and Zach decided to swapped the RV with Jonathan and Marc. So Jonathan would be with Caleb, and Marc in the same RV with Austin.
It would be better without Caleb in the night, at least.
Well, for your information; I swore I could see his eyes darted on mine when I climbed into Jack’s RV with my suitcase. I glanced to him a bit and all I could see was he furrowed his brows in regret. For honesty, I dunno what was it meaning.
XXX
♠ ♠ ♠
LOL DRAMA!!