Killing Joy

“You guys are on after All Time Low, kay?” I heard the general assistant of Forever The Sickest Kids said to the band followed by their nod. Well yes, I was in the same backstage with Forever The Sickest Kids waiting for All Time low to end their performance. I was sitting alone with coffee on my hand watching my boy played his bass happily.

Like ten minutes later, Alex then said goodbye to the crowds and headed back to the backstage with sweats flooding his body. He looked sexy with that, but Alex Gaskarth never turned me on not like the sweaty Zack Merrick who just joined to backstage too with sweats all over his body. His sweaty body was like screaming to me, forcing me to do something with the body.
Oh snap, I should stop my dirty thoughts. He’s already mine, though.

“Hey babe…” he said lifting me off the ground and kissed me romantically as I let out a giggle and disgusted whines.

“You’re wet.. “ I whined playfully and kissed him again wrapping his waist with my legs.

“Oh guys, please… for one second.. could you stop?” Rian protested

“Well, I don’t think that necessary, Dawson…“ Zack grinned at Rian and put me down as he crashed his lips on the crook of my neck leaving me giggled.

“S’cuse me..” a loud thump crashed Zack’s shoulder as the Forever The Sickest Kids went to the stage. Caleb was like purposely bumming Zack’s shoulder and then waltz on the stage. Zack gave a look to Caleb and clicked his tongue.

“He’s so annoying..” Zack commented watching the Forever The Sickest Kids was already on stage greeting the crowds.

“Well.. second that…” I grinned but Zack didn’t buy it as he let go from me and made his way out from the room after he said he wanted to get a quick shower.

I sighed and then stretched my back as I rested myself on the couch joining Rian, Alex (who was just calling a girl and made out with her), and Jack. Jack was talking with his sidekick, he seemed happy with the caller, I didn’t know who it was after I heard Beth’s name was called. It was Beth obviously. I smiled crookedly at jack feeling happy finally Jack and Beth were in talking term again.

Rian was also busy with his laptop and it seemed no one was going to talk with me. I sighed again and then made my way to the place where I got a nice view to the stage deciding to watch a free show from Forever The Sickest Kids.
After Forever The Sickest Kids, the next performance was coming from There For Tomorrow and so it made the rest of member were standing steadily near from me.

I kept my eyes on the show and I found my self was stunned in awe after I saw the show. I loved Forever The Sickest Kids’s performance as I loved All time Low’s. And this time, I didnnt know what came to me that I confessed about….

Caleb was really great on the stage. He seemed enjoyed playing his guitar, his face turned red when he screamed through the microphone letting out some lyrics. His voice was amazing and I found myself smiled at this.

Oh shit! No, I didn’t.

When he gripped the microphone, I didn’t believe that he still wore the ring. Our marriage ring. As I glanced to my ring finger and found it was vacant, I minded… Did he still…

Uh.. well.. nevermind. Forget about it.

“Aren’t they great?” suddenly someone blew his voice through my ear making me faced the person.

“Yeah.. Particularly” I smiled at the boy who was gripping drumsticks which made me thought he was the drummer from the band.

“I saw you with All Time Low, are you their friend?” he asked me giving a hot smirk. Why on the hell boys always do those smirk?

“Practically, I’m their assistant and the merch girl” I replied politely followed by a huge grimace that smitten on his face.

“Well.. good to hear that.. I’m Chris by the way” He let out his hand to me as I shook his hand “Chris Kamrada” he smirked once again and like de ja vu, I reminded the first time I met Caleb. He did the same.

“Nicky. Nicky Turman…” I let out a loud sigh after I told him my last name.

“Turman?” like I guessed he asked about the last name “Are you Caleb’s sister or something?”

I chose not to answer him and at the same time, Forever The Sickest Kids ended their performance and headed back to backstage. I gave my last smile to Chris and then joined back to the couch where Rian and Jack were still remained. I didn’t see Alex, maybe he was out to some room where he could had a hotter make out session with the girl.

Jack had already hung up his sidekick and his look was tensed. I saw his vein appeared from his neck, his eyes were hard as if he was really mad. Well, I thought he was mad at that time and I didn’t know why. He looked at me and then turned to the guys who just came to the backstage.

“HEY TURMAN!” suddenly Jack screamed out loud making Caleb and everyone turned their face to Jack.

“Yeah?” Caleb responded. Jack got off from his couch making his way toward Caleb and everyone’s eyes were on them.

“I need to talk to you. Follow me” Jack said gesturing him to get out from the backstage room.

“What happened with Jack, Ri?” I asked Rian who swallowed hard.

Rian only shrugged his shoulder off.

At my surprise, like ten minutes later I heard a loud scream that came from Jack outside the room.
“What the hell is that?” Austin muttered.

I frowned hearing the unfamiliar sound from Jack and decided to check them. I walked off from the backstage room and found Jack was on the top of Caleb punching Caleb everywhere.
My eyes widened in shock watching the fight.

Caleb had made some bruise on Jack’s face. But Caleb’s face was worse, he had bloody face because Jack maybe had broke Caleb’s nose and hit him more.

“JACK!” I screamed out loud trying to set Jack off from Caleb. “What are you doing!!” I saw Jack’s murderous eyes which I never found on him for like years.

Then suddenly, maybe because of my shriek, people who were in backstage room stormed out and helped me to separate the fighters.

“You son of a bitch!! You raped my sister!! How dare you!! You should be dead!!” Jack screamed and tried to hit Caleb again on the floor.

“Jack.. enough!!” Marc coaxed gripping Jack’s mad form who was about to come to Caleb again.

“Jack.. stop..” I said weakly grabbing his shoulder. “It’s okay…” I said biting my lip trying to choke my tear. “Come on Jack, let’s go back to ATL’s room”

Jack watched my eyes with unsure look, his mad face was transforming back to his steady expression and then followed me to ATL’s private room with Rian leaving Forever The Sickest Kids taking care of Caleb.

As we reached ATL’s room, we found Matt and Zack were watching TV together and then suddenly darted their eyes on Jack’s bruised face.

“What the fuck happened with Barakat!!” Matt cursed and suddenly stood up worriedly leading Jack to the couch. I made my way to find a first aid box and then brought the box to Jack as I let out alcohol to heal the cut that placed on his crook lips.

Jack winced to the pain and then looked at me directly in the eyes.
“Why didn’t you tell me, Nicks?” Jack asked with his raspy voice

I didn’t reply him and chose to be a mute, it wasn’t like I didn’t want to tell him. But I just hadn’t been ready to tell him yet. I still had that breakdown which made me down whenever I told the thing that happened.

“What happened?” Zack asked

“Beth told me, Nicks. So the reason you ran away into the woods because you were raped? Holy fuck that ginger head! I couldn’t believe that he did this to you” he let out his enragement

My shoulders suddenly shuddered in unnecessary way. I couldn’t stand to watch Zack into the eyes, he heard that. He fucking heard that I was raped. I didn’t know what would happen next. What would happen with our relationship as he knew this.

“He fucked you up, Nicks.. Fuck!” Jack shrieked madly.

“Stop, Jack.. stop.. I don’t want to talk about it”

Jack stopped ranting with me still taking care of his cuts. Everyone who heard us didn’t comment anything. As I finished with Jack I made my way out from the ATL’s room and then I heard the door opened again.

Zack.

He grabbed my shoulder and shot a pity look which I never liked. I didn’t like to be pitied.

“Nicky.. do you want to explain to me about everything?” he asked delicately.

I hugged him tightly pressing my face against his warm chest as I dragged his perfume scent which was comforting.

We made our way to somewhere private and silent after we bought some taco first.

“So..” Zack started

“Like you heard before… In the night when I ran away from the camp.. well.. erm.. after we went to see the stars, I came back to the RV. And then, I dunno what came to him, he raped me. He.. he.. after I had my shower, he came to my bed. And since Kyle and Annie shared the tent outside, so I happened to be with Caleb in RV. Only. Then, everything happened so fast. I ran away into the woods because I was really scared.. he took it, Zack.. I dunno what I had to do..” my voice was lurched as I buried my face on my palms in frustration.

I then faced his face and found a hurt look. Neither I nor he said any words.

We just had those staring contest until he cleared his throat. He looked away. I thought I already knew what would happen with our relationship.

“Listen Zack.. i.. I will understand about your response over this. I think.. if.. if..” my voice became rough “If you dumped me over this.. i.. would be understand..” I whimpered. “But you have to know, Zack.. even you dumped me.. I love you…”

“Nicky..” he began again holding my hand “How come you talk that such thing? I will never dump you, Nicks.. I love you too… I just.. I’m sorry, Im just shocked a bit that Caleb did this to you. And why didn’t you tell me, Nicks? Didn’t you trust me?”

My eyes were like on fire. They were burnt with imaginary fire which I didn’t know where it came, I thought I was going to burst out in tears. But nope, I shouldn’t be like that.

“Of course, I trust you, Zack.. I love you..” I said weakly “But I was scared to tell this. I was scared losing you…”

Zack scooted his seat to me and leaned his warm body on mine as he hugged me adoringly.. “Nicky.. sshh.. you aren’t going to lose me.. in fact we’re still together, right? I love you too.. babe.. shh..” I rested my head on his shoulder as he kissed my head softly making me melted more and more.

Thank you God, for giving me a nice and loyal boyfriend.

XXX