Killing Joy

I saw the blue ceiling that I knew. My blue ceiling, it was my bedroom. I got up from the bed and saw my attire, I was in pajamas already. I looked up my wide window, the sun rays stung into the room with a bias of spectrum.

I fisted my hand to my eyes and rubbed them slowly then I yawned widely. I slid to the edge of bed and stood up lazily, I didn’t remember anything. All I remembered was the night before was my birthday party and I got drunk with Zach.
I yawned once again and brought myself to my bathroom for rinsing my face and tooth brushing. After I was finished, I came to me doors and walked out from my room, it was so silent. My eyes flickered to the dark corridor and found a pile of boys were sleeping on the long extravagant couch.

Zach, Alex, Rian and Jack? Why were they sleeping on that couch? Why mom didn’t provide Zach, Alex and Rian some guest rooms?

I approached them and nudged Jack’s body.

“Jackpoo.. jack…” I whispered to him

“Whee.. who.. ha… my dummy bears..” he grinned with eyes still closed

“Jackkkk.. wake up!” I started to rock his body

Thank god finally he opened his bloodshot eyes and looked at me. He got up instantly as he rubbed his eyes.
“Nicky?! Oh lord, are you okay?” he asked me and stood up steadily. He scanned me and hugged me adoringly.

“I’m okay Jack” I was a bit confused that time, why did he ask that if I was okay. But then, I slightly remembered that the night before my mom claimed that I was going to marry Caleb, but I was sure it’s just dream. I was really sure.

“Thank god. Do you remember that last night you were blacked out?” Jack asked intensely. “We were waiting for you here with mom and dad. But soon, dad needed to go back to Wisconsin. Until late midnight, mom still waited for you in your room but she got tired so she headed back to her room after the party fully ended just after you blacked out”

My jaw was dropt, so I really did black out last night!

“Caleb and Teresa were going home too, they promised to go back here in the morning. Teresa was so worried about you. My bandmates are alson worried, so they decided to wait for you, but we fell asleep on the couch” Jack added scratching his head to wipe his sleepiness and let out yawn. I was thinking of Zach, we were having a great time and i was so sad because since i did already liked him, so i couldn't make a move to him because of my mom's stupid present. “I dunno you are going to marry Caleb, Nickins” he asked grinning at me.

“NO! I’M NOT!” I barked and stomped my foot on the floor.

“But mom said, yo—“

“She arranged it! CAN YOU BELIEVE IT!! OH MY GOD!!! SHE SAID CALEB FUCKING TURMAN IS MY BEST PRESENT I’VE EVER HAD FROM HER!!” man I was so pissed off, I never agreed about the marriage. I hated arranged marriage and also that pervert boy.

“E..eeasy girl…” Jack lowered down his voice as he pointed out the sleeping dudes behind him who started to stir because of my loud voice. I was really enraged and then shoved myself to my lovely brother, I didn’t want to marry him, never!
“Ssshh.. sissy, since when you became whiney like this? Remember? You’re a strong girl” Jack grinned “Let’s talk with mom then, come on”

“No I can’t! Mom is so stubborn, I will so tie back my tongue!” I felt Jack’s soft stroke on my head as he kissed my temple

“We’ll talk about it together, come on” Jack intertwined his hands on mine and tried to drag me but I rejected him. Jack rolled his eyes and turned his back on me as he bowed a bit. “Come on” he turned his head over his shoulder and patted his back on mine. “Let papa Jack gives you a free piggy ride” he grinned as I chuckled a bit.
I never be able to reject his piggy ride, I always loved piggy ride especially when it came from dad and Jack. Eventhough Jack was skinny, he could lift me. I didn’t know whether he had a superpower.

I jumped on his back and wrapped my arms around his neck while his hands were holding both my legs.

“Shizzle sissy, you’re as fat as a cow” he muttered breathlessly when we were heading mom’s room.

“Asshole” I smiled slyly and leaned my cheek on his back. He’s so comfortable. I was so happy that I was born under Barakat’s name because it made me becoming his sister. He’s so sweet and I bet Beth would kill to be on Jack’s back.

Jack once again grinned goofily and put me down as we finally reached mom’s room. We didn’t bother to knock so we opened the door really slowly. Soon enough, we spotted mom had already woke up with her night gown still clinging on her petite body. Her semi-snowwhite head was sparkling when the sun rays fused on it. She was standing near the big window while her hand was tracing the transparent window.

“Mom..” Jack started. Mom jumped a bit, it seemed she didn’t notice our arrival. She rubbed her heart in relief and then smiled widely when she saw me. Mom approached me and hugged me tightly.

“Oh dearly Nickins, I’m glad you awake finally” she caressed my head and planted a kiss on it. “I have no idea why you were blacked out last night, what happened to you? Did you take an overloa—“

“Mom, we need to talk” I said in push. “I’m not going to marry Caleb” I said confidently while I felt my mom’s hand squeezed mine.

“Baby..” she chuckled “What are you thinking? You’re going to marry him. We already set everything and you are marrying him this Saturday”

My eyes widened as I heard Jack gasped, “No I’m not marrying him”

“Nicky, you said you really wanted to marry someone, right?” my mom started again

“But mom, it was my seven year old wish! And now I’m nineteen, of course I change my mind. It was just my stupid wish when I was still little girl! It’s not like I don’t want to marry someone, but I’m not ready yet!”

“Oh lord, Nicky, listen to me” My mom started to push but I cut her off.

“MOM! Can you imagine how hard being in an arranged marriage? I don’t believe you do this to me. You arranged my marriage while I never ever meet this guy, he’s like a stranger to me and I so not love him, he’s an ass, mom! I don’t want to do this! You said you’d give me the best present ever but in fact it’s the worst present EVER! I will not marry him, mom! That’s my point!” I trailed off spilling everything in my head to my mom as I hoped she would get me.

“Nicky, easy girl” I heard Jack from my back as he rubbed my shoulder lightly.

I saw my mom stunned on her spot and her eyes showed her sadness after I spilled over my complaint over her. I never complained her, I always praised her for everything that she had done to me. But that time, since my marriage was arranged I became so furious. Somehow, I felt bad because I was like screaming at her.

“I love you, Nickins…” finally my mom said a word. She lit her head and leaned on to me. “I just don’t want you got hurt with somebody else out there. I want the best for you, and Caleb, I know he’s the best for you. I have known him for years”

“But I don’t! You may know him, but me not! It’s torturing mom when your marriage’s arranged with someone that you don’t love”

“Mom, Nicky’s right. Listen to her, she has right to choose her future husband” finally Jack said his words. I turned my face and begged for help. My mom was a stubborn woman, she wouldn’t want to hear someone objects her will. In my entire life, I had never objected her will because everything she had said always right, I always agreed to her. But this case, it is different story.

“Baby, I know you’re mad to me” mom said hopefully to me, “But sweetheart, me and Teresa have arranged it. We have set everything with our best shot for your marriage. We both have spent a lot, very very a lot of money for your marriage, just so you know. We’re going to have a lot of financial loss, if you reject this marriage. We have spent over than $100.000 just for the party not included with your wedding dress”

My eyes widened in shock. One hundred fucking dollars?! For my wedding? Oh my god, now I believed my mom was crazy.
Jeez, if she would loss that assload, I couldn’t refuse that freaking marriage. Why the hell my mom and Teresa did this to me, they really loved to torture me.
I saw Jack’s eyes were startled too after my mom said the megabucks she had spent. Like I said before, my tongue was definitely tied back, I couldn’t let out any argument to her.

“Mom, are you still sane?” Jack asked with disbelief in his tone

I groaned in frustrated and stomped my heels on the floor. “I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU, MOM!!!” and then, I stormed out from her room in defeat. I was defeated, I couldn’t change my faith. If I dared to refuse the marriage, my mom would have motherfucking lots of financial loss and I couldn’t do that as a child. So, I had to accept that marriage then. What a pathetic life of mine.

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