Best Man

Feeling sunlight beating down on the side of her face as if she were an ant underneath a spyglass, Caroline groaned and lifted her very sleepy head up from the pillow she was resting upon, while stretching out every limb in every direction possible. She turned from side to side, blinked the sleep from her eyes and tried to determine where the fuck she was.

Nothing looked familiar as she looked around the bedroom she was awaking in, but then it all came back to her.

The evening before, when Tre had kissed her and Mike got angry and accidentally hit her in the nose with his elbow, giving her a nosebleed. Then how Billie Joe had driven her home to his place where Adrienne greeted them with a smile, then a look of concern when she saw how swollen Caroline's nose had become.

The older woman had taken Caroline to the bathroom to clean the dried blood from her upper lip and fingers and then gave her a cold rag to keep the swelling down.

It was after all that was said and done that Adrienne wanted the details.

So, there the three adults sat around the kitchen table until well past midnight; first talking about what had happened but then moving into joking around territory.

And where to begin with that?

As Caroline sat up, she threw her legs over the edge of the bed and yawned, gripping the side of the mattress with her hands and stretched again.

When her feet touched the carpeted floor she laughed when she remembered something from the night before.



Caroline and Adrienne were both holding bottles of Mike's Hard Cranberry Lemonade in their hands, standing inside Billie Joe and Adrienne's bedroom while they coached the punk rocker out of the bathroom.

"C'mon, Billie. You've done it before. Now do it for us," Adrienne egged on. "We're trying to make Caroline feel better, remember?"

"The guilt trip ain't working with me, spankybuns," came his muffled reply from behind the bathroom door.

"We got you to go through with it this far," Caroline laughed. "Now you just gotta show yourself off."

Caroline and Adrienne looked at each other and nodded as they began to sing Aerosmith's 'Dude Looks Like A Lady.'

That did it.

The door opened with a thud and both women rolled back on the bed, laughing their asses off as Billie Joe staggered out into the room, donning make-up (i.e., lipstick, blush, eyeshadow, mascara and eyeliner), a stuffed bra that belonged to his wife, a black dress, fishnets and high heels.

While he looked rather pretty, for a man, he was anything but enthused about the whole thing.

"I knew I married you for a reason," Adrienne giggled, sitting back up and trying to regroup.

"To dress me in drag?"

"Yes," she nodded. "That, and your penis."

Caroline cackled and Billie Joe's eyes went wide. "Babe!"

"Sorry, sorry..."

Billie Joe just stared at his wife while reaching out with his fingernail-painted hand, grabbing her bottle of Mike's from her and taking a swig.

"If it's any consolation, Bill, this has really made my day and if you were a woman you would look really hot and I would totally become a lesbian in order to do you," Caroline quipped, laughing in a way that she practically spit out the malt beverage in her mouth.

Flitting his eyes over to his best friend's fiancee, Billie Joe began to grin a little as he puckered his lips upon pulling the bottle away from his mouth. Blowing her a kiss, he handed the bottle back to Adrienne and without warning, he leaned forward and tackled both women to the bed, the drinks spilling in the process but none of them really caring.

Just laughing. Slightly drunkenly.

"Menage-a-trois!" Billie Joe shouted, burying his face in his wife's neck while throwing one fishnet-clad leg between Caroline's legs as she tried getting up.

"Billie!" Adrienne hissed. "The boys are asleep down the hall!"

"Menage-a-trois," he repeated in a whisper.

They all just laughed so hard that their sides began to hurt.



Caroline smirked all the way downstairs as her feet gently padded across the floor while she pulled her hair up into a sloppy bun on the top of her head.

Folding her arms under her chest, she sauntered into the kitchen and was greeted by Billie Joe bumping his narrow hip into Adrienne's curvy one as she tried carrying a platter of toast over to the kitchen table.

"Afternoon, Dopey," the punk rocker smiled as he set the carton of milk down in front of his now teenage son, Joey.

"What time is it?" Caroline choked out, not having said anything since waking up.

"12:45. We all just woke up within the hour too, so breakfast is late," Adrienne remarked, sitting down across from Jakob who was looking around at Caroline.

"Hi, Caroline."

"Hey buddy," she replied, running a hand through his hair as she took a seat next to him. "Smells good," she added, nodding to the bacon on a plate in the center of the table.

"And full of greasy, artery-clogging goodness, too," Billie Joe chimed as he reached across the table and grabbed a piece of bacon, then bit into it with a shit-eating grin spread across his lips.

"How come you stayed here last night?" Joey asked, leaning forward to look down the table at his 'Uncle' Mike's fiancee.

"Because she can," came his father's response. "Now eat."

Joey looked at Billie Joe and frowned. "It was just a fucking question," the 13-year-old muttered under his breath while both his parents set their forks down and glared at him. "What?"

Turning her head to the side, Adrienne looked at her husband's profile. But Billie Joe just shrugged off his son's slip of the tongue.

"Gotta teach 'em young," he commented. Then, Joey reached for a piece of bacon, Billie Joe poked his oldest son's hand with his fork and caught his eye. "But not at the breakfast table, understand?" he questioned with a deadly glare.

Joey nodded his head and cast his eyes down as he continued to grab his piece of bacon.

Caroline just smirked the entire time, enjoying having breakfast with her friends and their kids who she thought of as nephews.

All five of them chatted amiably as they ate, passing around the milk to refill their glasses, buttering their toast, taking pancakes from the stack next to the bacon...

It was a nice morning---er, afternoon.

And when the doorbell rang, disrupting the meal, Billie Joe excused himself, offering to go see who it is.

Curling one leg up under her as she bit into her toast, Caroline slowly turned to the left to look as Billie Joe reappeared in the kitchen.

"Care," he called to her. With a nod of his head, she followed the guitarist's gesture to his right to see Mike stepping into the kitchen beside his best friend.

Locking eyes with one another, Mike offered his girl a soft smile. "Hey," he said to her.

"Hey," she repeated.

"Could I, uh...can we talk?" he asked, nervously placing his hands in his pockets and rocking slightly on the heels of his feet.

Looking from Mike to her friendly hosts and back again, Caroline nodded. "Yeah, sure."

To be honest, she just wanted to run into his arms and forget the fact that her nose was bruised.

Excusing herself from the table this time, The Sinner's frontwoman stood up and walked over to Mike, placing her hand on his arm and leaving the kitchen.

The two of them walked out into the front hallway and went outside onto the front porch as Caroline leaned against the railing with her hands folded in front of her.

Before he spoke, Mike looked shyly down at his feet. He parted his lips to say something but then he found the words were caught in his throat. And when Caroline's hand reached up and cupped the side of his face, his eyes shot back up to her and he looked at her questioningly, then he smirked.

"I'm so sorry, honey," he apologized. "I didn't even realize I'd hit you and believe me that was the last thing on my mind."

"The only thing on your mind was beating Tre to a pulp," she amended, her hazel eyes a little forlorn. "Mike, I don't know what Tre was thinking when he kissed me and perhaps he wasn't thinking at all. I don't know. But I do know that it caught me off guard and there was nothing in that kiss for me. I didn't even realize what he was doing until I heard you behind me and then it was all--WHAM. There, in my face. I shoved him away but I didn't want you to fight him over it." She tilted her head to the side, looking up at him. "I don't need a Knight in Shining Armor. I just need my Michael."

Holding her gaze, Mike pulled a hand from his pocket and touched the bridge of her nose. "I'm sorry about that. About this..." he muttered, letting his finger trail down to her cheek. "Does it hurt?"

She shook her head. "It did last night for a while, but now it's just a little...I dunno." She shrugged. "However the way bruises are supposed to feel."

Leaning forward, Mike pressed the tip of his nose to hers, then pressed their foreheads together. "I'm still sorry."

"If you keep saying that I'm gonna elbow you in the nose."

"At least we'll be even," he joked.

Cracking a grin, Caroline threw her arms around Mike's neck and kissed him to the point of practically melting against his body. And while she was turning to Jell-O, he moved his lips to her nose and kissed her bruise.

"Come away with me," he whispered.

Looking up at him and biting her lip, Caroline pulled back a little. "Come where?"

"Anywhere. I want us to go on a vacation together. Me. You. Estelle."

Caroline beamed. "You wanna start practicing being a family?"

Mike shrugged and shifted his stance as his arms wrapped around her waist and pulled her closer. "Maybe."

"Hmm, I don't know," she replied. "I think I've had a change of heart. I mean, I don't think I wanna marry a wife beater."

Pretending to be hurt, Mike pouted. "See, now you're just gonna rub it in, aren't you?"

"I might."

"So..." he continued. "Will you come on vacation with my daughter and me?"

Hesitating for dramatics, Caroline smiled. "I'd follow you to the end of the earth if you asked me."

Sighing with glee, Mike leaned forward and kissed his beautiful fiancee again, completely unaware that Billie Joe was smacking his sons upside the back of their heads for peering out the window; spying on 'Uncle Mike' and Caroline.