Here Lies The Waste

Four days had passed and it was now Tuesday.
Rachel hadn’t stopped telling me about how her relationship with Jake was improving each day.
She told me she was regaining his trust back.
There was a part of me that was happy for her but the other wasn’t.
the other told me to grab her by both shoulders and shake her.
Tell her to wake the fuck up.

But I wasn’t gonna do that.
I wouldn’t.
at least of all to her.

It was the beginning of the school day and I was sat on one of the benches at the baseball field.
The weather was fine, but nothing too special.
I put my notepad on my knee and waited for the wind to bring some ideas to mind.
I looked up, taking a packet of cigarettes out of my pocket along with a lighter. I put my pen behind my ear while I lit one up.
Shoving back the packet of Marlboro reds and the lighter into my jeans pocket I inhaled the smoke.
Poisoning my lungs.

I continued to think - think of words that matched my mood.
Words that would help me write and finish off this song.



This was getting silly. How could I write things under stress and worry?
I mean, I was distracting myself by my random erotic, mathematical scribbles that confused me.
If I ever look back at this book when im old - I might laugh from seeing the random doodles before noticing the genuine words written on each page.

I looked up again, my cigarette resting in between my fingers. Rachel was walking across the field, not alone though.
With Him.
Jake Harvey.
Fucking prick what does he want?

I slammed my pad shut and watched as they walked up the stairs towards me.
I took a long drag on my cigarette and tried to look as calm as possible
but I was gonna crack any minute now - I could feel the anger burning through my very skin.
The words of hate stood on the tip of my tongue ready to be spat out by force.
This was gonna be hard.

Rachel was wearing grey skinny jeans with a white shirt and black pull over on top. Her hair was tied back today, loose strands flailing in the wind. Behind her was Jake - Wearing the stupid Jock stereotype clothing. Don’t need me to describe just watch Mean girls or some shit like that.

“Morning will.”
She said, standing next to me.
“I don’t need a drive home today - Jakes gonna take me out after school. Is that okay?”
I looked up at them both - Jake’s face possessing a grin that I didn’t like to see.
I looked down and nodded.
“That’s fine..”

The moment after I spoke was awkward.
I hated being within a ten foot radius with this jerk.
He made my blood boil and my skin tremble with hatred.
I’d of knocked his fucking teeth out long ago but Rachel was determined to set things right with him.
So I had to hold back.

“Well, I’ll see you in class.”
I nodded and glanced at her feet walking back down the stairs.
There was only one set of footsteps to be heard however.
I looked up and he was still stood there.
Grinning that stupid grin again.

“Don’t worry Willy, your sweetheart will be safe with me.”
He patted my hair and that ticked me right off.
I stood up immediately. My bag colliding with the floor.

“Don’t you fucking touch me again! If you do I’ll break your fucking jaw you little shit!”
Jake stood back a little shocked before grinning again.
“Aww, someone’s getting a bit grouchy. Mummy not give you any attention last night?”
My face was turning red - I could feel it.
If I did something now, Rachel would know that it was me.
I couldn’t do it.

So I stepped back - sitting down in my seat.
“Fuck off and leave me alone. I’m not wasting my breath on you.”
He laughed
“Fine, and don’t worry - we’re gonna have lots of fun.”
He turned on his heel and walked away.
I didn’t like the way he phrased the word `fun`
I didn’t like any of this at all.
I couldn’t let her go through with this - because I had this strange feeling in the bottom of my gut that something bad was gonna happen.

And if it did
I wouldn’t forgive myself.