Do You Think You're Up For This?

“Not that I am special, not that you’re some work of art. Let’s lose us some sleep, and that is somewhere to start.” – Motion City Soundtrack

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Suzie

I lie on the couch lazily, my legs in Mike’s lap, his fingers occasionally brushing the skin of my calves.

He’s watching whatever’s on tv, but I’m watching him.

He’d briefly gone back to Chicago before moving permanently into the apartment this past week.

I can’t help but feel slightly guilty he’s so far from home, even if he insists he doesn’t mind.

I study his profile, his dark hair short again, and his green eyes concentrated on the screen while his calloused fingers rest against my legs.

“What?” he asks suddenly, turning to face me when he notices me staring obviously at him.

“Nothing,” I reply. He turns back to the screen and I smile to myself.

“What?” he asks again, giving me a sideways glance, confused. I laugh.

“Nothing, I said.”

“Well…stop it,” he whines jokingly, jabbing a finger at my stomach. I squirm away and then sit up straight, scooting closer to lean my head against his shoulder. He reaches over to grab my hand, intertwining our fingers together.

“Hey, Mike?” I ask, after a few silent minutes.

“Hmm?” he murmurs back, turning to look at me again. I hesitate before speaking again.

“I don’t know if you were planning on going back to Chicago with Rae and Michael for Christmas, but…” He waits intently, granting me his full attention. “I wanted to know if…if you’d stay here with me?” I ask hopefully, biting my lip as I wait for his reaction. “My parents have this Christmas party, and then New Year’s-” I continue to ramble without pause. “It’s kind of stupid, but I…I don’t want to be there alone, I want you to be here…”

“Suze-” he interrupts my monologue, a goofy grin pulling his lips upwards in a smile I’d love to see on his face at all times. “I was thinking about going back home,” he continues, and I feel my heart drop a little in disappointment, but understanding at the same time. “…but I was only thinking about it because I didn’t know if you’d ask me to stay,” he finishes. “I didn’t know you wanted me to.”

“I do,” I reply in relief.

He grins that childish grin and I can’t help but smile back warmly as we go back to watching whatever it is we’re watching.

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Rae

As I go through my clothes in the closet, I pause at the sight of my old black dress, and can’t help but wonder if it still fits me.

I hesitate for a minute before slipping it on and attempting to zip it up.

Just as the zipper gets stuck, I feel another pair of hands at my back. Michael zips the rest up my back then rests his face in my neck. It’s tighter than it used to be, before Elliott was born, but I’m just self-consciously relieved that it still zips up all the way.

“Ready?” he mumbles, cool breath hitting my neck and giving me goose bumps.

Mike and Suzie invited us on a double date for the first time in a long time. I suspect Suzie just wanted an excuse to get dressed up.

Whatever the reason, it’s a huge relief to have plans that take my mind off the band and recording.

I turn in his arms to smile at him for no reason and he returns it with his crooked grin I’ll never get sick of. He leans in closer, his lips merging with mine and my body automatically pressing against his. His lips trail down my throat and then indecisively back up my face before meeting my mouth eagerly again. I kiss him back with equal enthusiasm until I come to my senses a few minutes later, when his hand tangled in my hair and mine is playing with the hem of his shirt.

I stop him with a hand on his chest before we get too intimate –we’ve forgotten that we’re not the only ones in the apartment anymore, and not only that, but we’re standing in our closet, of all places.

“Nope. Not yet,” I smile again, wanting to laugh as I pull him back out of the closet so we can finish getting ready. He kisses me playfully once more before releasing me so he can change his clothes while I head into the bathroom to make my hair look presentable again.

“We’ll be back in a few hours,” I tell Nicola, who’s just finished putting Elliott to sleep. She calls out a “have fun!” to our backs as we close the door behind us.

“Oh. Hey,” Seb greets us on our way out of the building. He immediately turns awkward in Michael’s presence. He continues inside and I drag Michael away towards the car before he can say anything.

We meet up with Suzie and Mike at the restaurant, and dinner goes by quickly, and more smoothly than ever, especially the last couple of times we’d gone out with the two of them.

“You alright?” I nudge Suzie lightly with my foot, as Michael and Mike leave the table to get us drinks.

“Huh?” she asks distractedly.

“Just asking how you’ve been,” I answer.

“I haven’t been this happy in awhile, Rae,” she grins, and I recognize the expression because I wear it every time I realize how lucky I am to have Michael and Elliott in my life.

“I’m glad,” I reply, although I’m not sure she hears me over her emanating waves of happiness. “I…hold on,” she continues, pausing to answer her phone.

“Oh. Hey,” she says into her phone, a slight frown replacing her grin. “Yeah, Rae’s here.” I wait, impatiently curious, for a few minutes as her smile starts to return. “Pete, you’re a lifesaver.”

“What-” I begin to ask, as she hangs up, all smiles.

“Pete found us a new producer.”

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Michael

It’s still relatively early when we’re done with dinner and get in the car after telling Suzie and Mike goodnight.

Seb is still there when we arrive, and I’m not entirely sure how I feel about that.

“I’m going over to Seb’s for a bit,” Nicola announces, in no way asking for my approval or thoughts on the topic. I don’t know how I feel about that, either. She goes off down the hall to her room to retrieve whatever she needs before leaving. Rae squeezes my hand reassuringly before walking in the same direction as my sister, most likely to check that Elliott’s still asleep.

Leaving me and Seb standing awkwardly in the living room, with only the sound of the television as background noise between us.

“Uh…” Seb begins uncertainly, scratching uncomfortably at the back of his head. He’s been acting odd around me ever since Nicola arrived. “I guess I’ll go wait in the car…” he half-mumbles, starting to walk in the direction of the door.

“Seb?” I call after him hesitantly. He stops, looking at me, waiting. “Just…don’t hurt her.”

He looks relieved, almost as if he’d been expecting me to punch him in the nose or something to that effect.

He gives a smile and a nod, and try to return the smile before he walks out the door.

Then it hits me that I can’t do anything about it even though I’m sure he only has the best intentions for my sister. Just like I had for Rae, even at that early point in our relationship.

And I know even best intentions can hurt just as bad sometimes.

Nicola returns, interrupting my realizations.

“Nic, wait,” I say, before she can leave. She stops and turns to look at me questioningly. “Look, um…” I start, realizing I don’t really know what I want to say, or warn her of, if there’s anything to warn her about. “Be careful,” I end up saying.

“Michael, I can take care of myself, you know. I’m twenty-four,” she reminds me calmly, humor pulling the corners of her lips upwards.

“I know, Nic,” I groan. “And I’m still trying to remember that.” Her teasing smirk turns into a sympathetic smile as she realizes what I’m having so much trouble expressing. “I’m your brother. And mum and dad aren’t here to mind you, I feel like I should…”

“Hey,” she interrupts. “No worries, mate,” she grins cheekily, giving me a hug. “You’re a great big brother,” she adds, then leaves.

I sigh, admittedly feeling better if only slightly than before, and collapse onto the couch tiredly.

Rae soon joins me, settling herself down on top of me as I grab for the remote to turn the tv off.

“So what’s the big secret?” I ask, remembering how her and Suzie had been keeping something from Mike and I at the restaurant.

“Oh, that,” she grins teasingly, dragging out the moment. I wait patiently, grabbing her small hand to bring her wrist to my lips to kiss. “Pete found us a new producer.”

“That’s great, sweetheart,” I reply, now kissing her palm. She moves the hand I’m kissing to my cheek. “Who is it?”

“He wouldn’t say,” she shrugs, frowning a bit for a few seconds. “But I’m just so relieved I don’t have to worry about it anymore.” I’m relieved for her; it’s been what’s most stressing her out the past two weeks.

“I’m happy as long as you and Elliott are,” I tell her, wrapping my arms around her waist as she leans back into me comfortably, her face resting in my neck and one of her hands lazily playing with random strands of my hair.

Her breathing get more and more relaxed by the second and her hearts beats steadily against mine as her eyes close and she drifts off to sleep.

I start to get up to carry her to bed, but she stirs in protest and I decide if I have to stay in this position with her the whole night so that she doesn’t have to wake up, I’m perfectly fine with it.