Do You Think You're Up For This?

“Between the two of us, we're strong enough. I feel that in your touch.” – The Anniversary

-x-x-x-x-x-x-x-

I slowly open my eyes and roll over to face Michael, but he’s not there.

I frown in confusion.

“Michael?” I call out, sitting up straight and pushing the covers away. My voice is dry and scratchy and my head hurts from my crying. I probably look a wreck on top of it. I run my fingers through my tangled hair to get a few knots out and rub my sore eyes.

I hear fumbling outside the door before it swings open and he comes in, carrying a plate of toast and scrambled eggs and a glass of water. He smiles, humming as he walks over to me.

I stare at him curiously.

“Cheer up, Rae,” he says, kissing my cheek and placing the plate and cup next to me on the bedside table.

“Are you feeling okay?” I manage to ask, gratefully taking long drinks of water but small bites of the toast and eggs because I’m more queasy than hungry. He gets back into bed beside me, laughing slightly.

“I should be asking you that question,” he replies. I just shrug. “I’m so sorry, Rae,” he blurts out.

“What do you mean?” I ask in confusion.

“Well…I wasn’t exactly the most supportive person last night,” he points out, running a hand through his hair and biting his bottom lip with an apologetic look in his eyes. “It was just…the last thing I expected you to say. But I shouldn’t have reacted that way. I only made you more upset. I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay,” I reply, scooting closer to lean against his chest. He kisses the top of my head, arranging his arms around me. I lie against him comfortably for awhile, just listening to him breathe.

“This doesn’t have to be a bad thing, Rae,” he says suddenly, pulling away to look at me. I stare back uncertainly. He chuckles. “Rae, we’re going to be parents!” A small, hesitant smile finds its way onto my face at his enthusiasm. “I know we weren’t planning on it so soon, but it’s what we wanted eventually, right?” he asks, sweeping my bangs out of my eyes and leaning forward to kiss me softly on the lips.

“You’re really okay with this, then?” I ask him doubtfully, looking down to play with the hem of his t-shirt to avoid looking him in the eyes.

“I’m only happy as long as you are,” he replies, lifting my face to his for another brief kiss. “Are you alright?” he asks, and I get the feeling I’m going to be asked this question many times over the next eight months.

“I’m just…”I begin, not even sure what I’m trying to say. “I don’t even know.”

He pulls me closer in response, and I give in, leaning back against his chest and closing my eyes while he runs his fingers through my hair.

I’m nearly asleep again when I distantly hear my cell phone ringing.

I groan audibly before hoisting myself off of Michael and dragging myself to the living room.

“Hey, are you doing okay?” is the first thing Suzie asks me when I flip my phone open.

“Okay, I guess. I told him,” I say, before she can ask. “He freaked but its fine now.”

“Really?”

“Yes.”

“So we can be excited now?” she asks hopefully. I laugh, shaking my head.

“We can be excited now.”