If I Never Hold You

“Get your asses to my house!” Danny called to us as we all left another long day at school. “Party time!”

“You gonna be there?” Johnny’s voice pumped through my eardrums.

“Yeah, see ya there?” I got into Danny’s Corvette Z06.

“Seward! Next to Mel, now!” Danny instructed, winking back at me. He knew what I wanted… Jerk.

“Well,” Johnny got in. “Guess I’ll be seeing you sooner than I thought.”

We pulled up to Danny’s house; the guys were all piled in with us. Val and Leana may be coming up later.

“Dude! You never told us you had a mansion!” Zacky called.

“It’s not a mansion,” Danny laughed. “Come on, let’s go in.”

The guys had their chins to the floor when they stepped foot in the house. As soon as you walked in, the view was breathtaking. Marble floor, mansion-like staircase, pictures on the walls, velvet couches…the list goes on and on. It’s super peaceful in here…

Matt linked arms with me as we followed Danny to the kitchen. Nearly instantly, I felt my other arm being taken by Johnny who was sending a funny look towards Matt. Jealousy, maybe? Good. Now he’s starting to feel what I have all along.

We all descended the stairs to the basement.

The first thing you see when you walk down is the bar; a place Danny and I have gotten wasted countless times. In the middle of the room was a pool table and a foosball table. Against a wall was Danny’s amazing surround sound system. Beside that was a huge widescreen TV. Hooked up to that were an xbox, ps3 and wii gaming systems. Two “L” shaped couches were moved together to make a giant “U”. The basement was loaded.

"Shit, dude!” Jimmy skipped over to the bar. “I always wanted to be a bar tender!” he slid a beer to all of us while we sat down.

Two beers in, I stood up and left the room.

Matt’s POV

Johnny was telling the guys about something stupid Brit did when I heard singing.

“Guys, who is that?” Johnny stood, following the voice.

While he was gone, I informed the guys: “Val suggested I make out with Mel to make Johnny jealous; like he’s doing to her. Play along.” I whispered.

“Like, pretend we don’t care?” Zacky questioned, following far behind Johnny.

“Yeah; exactly.” We followed him to a room filled with guitars, mics, editing boards… a recording studio? In Danny’s basement!?

Johnny’s POV

Mel sand loudly, beautifully…

What I'd give to bring you flowers
What I'd give to get you alone
What I'd give to bring a smile across your face
What I'd give to take you home

She belted the words like the most amazing melody I’d ever heard…

What I'd give to make you coffee
Find out how you like your eggs
Wrapped around you in the morning
A tangled lace of arms and legs

By now, everyone was whispering to one another about her voice. Danny leaned against a wall coolly, smirking.

What I'd give to let you love me
Find out everything that brings you joy
Wake up to your face above me
I'd be that girl and you could be that boy
Find out what that feeling is
Oh, what I'd give

Whoever this song was about, she had such emotion placed into these lyrics. The words played with my eardrums, I felt like the only person in the room, her eyes lay with mine.

What I'd give to take you dancing
What I'd give to make you mine
If you've got questions
I've got answers
And my answer's yes to you
Every time

I just wanted to hold her. This was a happy song, something that was supposed to bring joy but behind it, I felt sadness. I could see the tears lacing with the brown-green of her eyes… Was there something I could do…?

What I'd give for just one minute
What I'd give to count all the way
If your heart was dark with nothing in it
I'd give you mine and take your place

If there was one thing I wished to do, it would be to hold her. She sang with such emotion; such power and pain that flooded through each word. There was something dark about the words, a secret meaning behind them that I felt completely left out of.

What I'd give to let you love me
Find out everything that brings you joy
Wake up to your face above me
I'd be that girl
And you could be that boy
Find out what that feeling is
Oh, what I'd give

Something in me wished she felt this way about me…

Everyone clapped, cheering while she blushed. “Thanks, guys.”

“Mel tells me you’re in a band.” Danny stated.

“Yeah, you never said you had a recording studio here.” Jimmy exclaimed.

“If you’d like, you could use it when needed.” He offered.

We all thanked him, high-fiving and getting a round of beer in celebration. For an hour, we conversed and laughed. I noticed Matt and Mel getting closer, whispering, getting flustered, and smiling; stuck in their own little worlds.

I chocked when their lips locked; fervently kissing each other. Nearly gasping, I turned to see if the others were worried. Nope. They saw and kept talking. Every one of them. What the fuck?

“Guys?” I asked.

“What’s wrong, Christ?” Zacky asked.

“Yeah, dude?” Jimmy joined in.

I stayed quiet. “Never mind…” Jealousy pumped through me. Who the hell did he think he was?

They’re still at it…

I can’t believe this is getting to me. No fucking way.

I wanted to be kissing her.

By now, she was on top of Matt, her hands in his hair just as she’d done to me. I could still feel the sensation. The tingle when her fingers trailed across the softness of my hair. The heat that was created when our bodies lie together, nude and reddened from friction.

Slight moans were heard from the depths of his throat. I’d imagine he had a major hard-on; one which makes you so antsy that you need a release. Right away. I could almost see him throwing her right down on the couch, unbuttoning his black jeans, hiking up her skirt, moving her thong (which, was, in fact, what she wore today. Hey, it’s hard not to notice…), and fucking her to no end…

But they still stayed the same way, her straddling him on the couch, the only thing separating them, the thin material of her panties and his jeans…

When they eventually stopped, I had seen Matt adjust himself, trying to cover up what was obvious. Mel was good at what she did. I missed out on something good…

But only a few more weeks…

Every time Matt spoke tonight, my anger burned through me and I growled; infuriated by just his voice.

The only thing that took me away from my thought was when Danny informed us why he had a recording studio:

“My dad’s the CEO of Warner brothers. Hell, maybe if he likes you, he can bring your CD in to work, show them, and ya might be signed!”

Cheers poured out. Even from me though my heart was both deeply saddened and enraged.

…Why was this happening…?

A film is playing in my head of you fornicating in his bed. The satin sheets are ruby red, like your nails that scarred my back…