What I Go To School For

I woke up the next morning with a smile on my face and a spring in my step. Well that is until my mother had to burst my bubble.

"Don't come home today." She said with all seriousness.

"Why?" I asked putting away the cereal box that Kyrsten had taken down from the shelf.

"I'm bring a friend over after work. I don't need you and your sister here."

I rolled my eyes when she looked away. Of course my sister and I would ruin any chances of her getting a new boyfriend. What a bunch of crap.

"Fine. We'll go next door." I said as I picked up my book bag and walked away. "But we do have to have a place to sleep!"

Kyrsten met me at the door and we walked out of the house. The sky was dark and cloudy, defiantly a stormy day.

"Hey!"

I looked at the house to our left and smiled. Nick and Joe were walking out of their house.

"Mind if we walk with you?" Nick asked as he came to a stop in front of us.

"Not at all." I replied.

"Kyrsten if you want a ride to school Frankie is inside. My mom won't mind." Joe said smiling warmly at Kyrsten. "I'll go with you inside."

Kyrsten looked at me her eyes begging me to let her go.

"Go ahead. And remember to thank Mrs. Jonas." I said with a small laugh.

"Thank you!" Kyrsten exclaimed as she hugged me tight.

She followed Joe into the house, while Nick and I began our walk to school.

"So why are you walking?" I asked.

"Why? Do you not want me to walk with you? I mean if I'm really that bad for your health and everything." Nick said with a smirk.

"Shut up." I said smacking his arm. "I was just wondering since Kevin usually drives you."

"Yeah he had some stuff to do."
I nodded and looked at the gray sky wondering when the first drop would fall. Hopefully it would until we got to school, even though the idea of seeing Nick's very white shirt soaking wet was pretty tempting.

"What are you thinking about?" Nick asked.

I glanced at him feeling the blush that engulfed my cheeks.

"The rain." I answered.

"The rain makes you blush?" Nick asked. He lifted his hand and ran his knuckles across my reddened cheek.

"Yes."

There was a moment of silence as we looked at each other. His eyes dug into mine finding my hidden secrets. I was hyper aware that we were closer then we should have been, and getting closer. His hand cupped my cheek and his eyes fluttered closed at the same moment mine did.

"Hey guys your going to be late."

I jerked away from Nick and looked behind us to find Joe striding towards us. That's when I noticed Nick and I had stopped walking a few blocks from home.

"Oh right." Nick said clearing his throat.

I walked beside Nick embarrassed that I almost kissed him. That would have been so bad if I had good thing Joe interrupted.

"Did I interrupt something?" Joe asked as he walked behind us.

"Nothing." Was my automatic reply.

From the corner of my eye I thought I saw Nick frown.

"Yeah we just got distracted." He said with a small, closed lip, smile. Acting as if nothing had happened.

"Whatever you say."

****

At school that day Nick and I couldn't look each other in the eye. It was too humiliating that we almost kissed. Best friends don't kiss, not if they want to keep their friendship. On the walk home the clouds were finally ready to release the rain that had been waiting all day. It was only a cold mist but the big storm was about to start any minute now.

"Are you still coming over?" Nick asked as we approached our block.

I knew going home was a terrible idea and I needed to keep Kyrsten away. As humiliated as I am I'm just going to have to suck it up.

"Yeah. If you still want me to." I said biting my lip nervously.

Nick smiled slightly, only the corner of his mouth lifting up. He laced our fingers together and pulled me closer to him.

"Of course I want you to come over."

I smiled and looked down on the ground. All awkwardness disappearing as we walked in silence hand in hand. We walked into his house, still holding hands, and heard the sound of video games issuing from the living room. We followed the noise and found Kyrsten, Frankie, and Joe sitting in front of the TV an Xbox controller in each of their hands.

"Hey guys." Nick said trying to get their attention. Nothing came from the three. "We'll be upstairs."

"Kay." Joe said pushing buttons furiously.

Nick pulled me up the stairs to his room. He still held my hand as he walked towards his bed where he sat down and pulled me close to him. I sat on the bed next to him and rested my head against his shoulder.

"Can I ask you something?" Nick whispered his lips close to my ear.

"Yeah." I answered quietly. My breathing slowed as I felt Nick so close to me.

"What happened earlier?"

This was not the question I wanted to answer. I would have answered any question but this, not even with Nick being all sexy. I sat up straighter and looked at my hands.

"I, uh, I don't know." I stuttered.

"Well I was hoping you were going to kiss me." Nick intertwined our hands and put a finger under my chin to make me look him in the eye. "Is that what happened?"

I looked into his amazing brown eyes. The same amazing brown eyes I always dreamed of looking into. I couldn't lie to him.

"Yes." I said breathlessly.
Nick held my eye contact as he leaned forward our lips barely touching, he was testing me I could tell. He wanted to know how far I would let him take this.

"Nick."

"Yeah?"

"I can't kiss you." I whispered making our lips graze.

Nick hesitated as he moved away slightly, still close enough to kiss without moving.

"Why? Do you not want to kiss me?" He looked slightly hurt.

"You have no idea how much I want to kiss you." I admitted. "But I can't kiss you."

"Why?"

"Best friends shouldn't kiss."

"They should if they like each other."

I opened my mouth to reply but I couldn't I wanted to kiss but I knew it was wrong. I closed my eyes in an attempt to clear my mind.

"One kiss." Nick whispered, his breathe hitting my face.

I couldn't help myself I had to kiss him. I didn't respond I let Nick make the first move. His lips slowly blanketed mine in a slow kiss. He tangled his hand in my hair and pulled my body into his. I rested my hand on his chest right above his heart. His heart beat was fast and his breathing slow, like mine was. We pulled away far enough to look at each other. One wasn't enough for me I needed more. I leaned back in which made Nick's heart beat flutter. He opened his mouth slightly opening mine along with his. I pulled away not wanting this to go any further.

"I think we should stop now." I whispered moving away from Nick.

He dropped his head from where had been entangled in my hair. I tried to smooth my hair the best I could without making it too obvious.

"Yeah your right." Nick said clearing his throat.

We sat in silence as we both thought over what just happened. I had just done something I had only dreamed about doing. Not only my dream but millions of other girls' dreams.

"I really like you, Bobbi." Nick said suddenly. "I want to be more then just friends."
I sighed this was amazing and horrible all at once. I liked Nick, that much was obvious, but I didn't want to ruin our friendship. Dating ruins friendships.

"Nick-"

"What is so wrong about us dating?" Nick asked turning to look at me.

"We're friends, Nick." I said trying to make him understand. "We can't date or it will ruin our friendship."

"How is this going to ruin our friendship?" Nick asked a mixture of confusion and irritation clearly evident in his voice.

"If we were to break up it would end this friendship."

"Who says we're going to break up?" Nick asked.

"Seriously Nick?" I asked. "Were teenagers. If it was to last until we graduate we wouldn't last through college."

"We could. If we tried."

"I know that but I don't want to take that chance. Not right now."

"What is the real reason you don't want to?" Nick asked.

I tenesed knowing he saw right through my lie. Everything I said was true but that's not the reason why I can't date him. He can't find out about my family and if we were to date he'd want to know.

"You don't know me." I whispered.

"I'm trying to get to know you." Nick said quietly.

"I know." I sighed sadly knowing what I really wanted was him. "I think we should take a little break from each other. Stop hanging out so much."

It pained me to say that but I had to. Nick locked as with me trying to read me. I put up a brick wall, like I do with everyone, a wall that had started to crumble when I became friends with him.

"Why are you pushing me away?" Nick asked his surprise vanishing and angry rising.

"Because I have to!" I exclaimed. I stood up and faced Nick. "I can't let anyone get close! Its to dangerous for me and Kyrsten!"
"What are you talking about?" Nick asked confused and concerned.

"If we get any closer I won't be able to keep anything from you and there are things I can't tell anyone! You'll want to know what's going on with me but I can't tell you!" I yelled tears stinging my eyes.

"If you didn't want me to know I wouldn't push you." Nick said frowning. "You know that."

"But I'd feel bad for keep things from you!" I sobbed. "I love you, Nick, I want to tell you everything but I can't."

Nick's eyes widened and he looked like he had just seen a ghost.

"What?" I asked wiping away the tears running down my face.

Nick stood up and walked towards me. I stood still as he wiped a tear away.

"I want to know everything about you, but I understand there are things you can't tell me." He said softly. "But I also know I can't live without kissing you again. Or holding your hand. I love being around you. I love you."

I shook my head furiously backing away from Nick.

"You can't love me." I whispered.

Nick sighed and closed his eyes as he controled his breathing.

"Bobbi-"

"I have to go." I said quickly. I exited his room as fast as I could.

I went directly to the living room where I could hear Kyrsten and Frankie playing.

"Hey, Kyrsten, I'm going home. You can play for as long as you want, and if Mrs. Jonas says yes you can eat here." I said trying to sound like my heart wasn't breaking.

"Ok." She said concern crossing her features. "What about mom?"

"Its fine." I said smiling, but it didn't reach my eyes. "Call my cell before you come home."

Kyrsten nodded and smiled at me, "love you."

"Love you more." I said. I waved at Frankie then turned at left the house.

I was surprised Nick didn't follow me or at least try to stop me. He always struck me as the kind of guy who would chase after a girl in a situation like this. I kind of wanted him to maybe then I could believe he's serious, but of course he doesn't.

I try opening the front door of my house but its locked. There isn't a car in the driveway and all the lights are off. My mom locked me out. As this thought runs across my mind I feel a rain drop drop onto my cheek. I swipe it away and sit down on the front steps. Before long the rain is a full down pour but I can't move I have no where else to be, no where else to go. I try thinking about how great Nick's lips felt against mine. All this thought brings is tears, I pushed him away just when things could have been better.

"Bobbi?"

I look up seeing a dark figure approaching.