Second Heartbeat

I ended up waiting on Brian's couch alone. He didn't come back to talk to me. He left his food on the table too. I didn't touch it.

I could hear the front door opening, and I knew it was everyone. I could hear their loud conversation.

Johnny and Jimmy were bickering, but then again when weren't they? Jimmy was always poking fun at Johnny. Usually it was because of his height though.

Everyone was laughing, and they turned the lights on. The flickering lights hurt my eyes, but I didn't flinch.

Michelle was the one who turned them on. She was staring at me oddly.

"Where's Brian?" She asked.

I just shrugged.

"Probably in one of the rooms. I told him to leave me alone," I said.

She nodded as she walked away, probably to go find her man. I only prayed that he wouldn't tell her.

I don't think I could've handled an angry Michelle on my case.

Emily decided to plop down next to me.

She wasn't her happy self right now, and I didn't blame her. I just needed her happy jumpy personality at the moment.

There was one more person that I could rely to be like that.

Jimmy came through the door, and he was smiling wide.

I guess he was trying to make sure everyone else around him had a smile on his face.

It wasn't exactly working for Emily, but Zacky was laughing hard.

"Emma, do you think you could move to California with us now?" Emily asked.

I wasn't sure on what to say now. I just slept with Matt. That was most definitely going to create tension between us.

"Emily, I'm not sure. I don't think right now is the best time," I said softly. "I want you to, everyone wants you to." She whined.

"Emily, I'll move soon. Just not right now. Soon enough, there'll be less people wanting me to move there," I said softly.

Emily shook her head.

"I don't think anyone's going to change their mind about this besides you," she said.

I was about to tell her to just let it go, but someone got to do it before me.

"Emily, I think it's better if your sister stays away from us for a while."

Although it got Emily to be quiet, it hurt me.

It hurt to hear Brian say such hurtful words. He didn't want me around him anymore and probably Matt too. He was looking at me so angrily, like I had meant to do it.

I didn't say much after that.

There were awkward silences filling the day by.

Emily and everyone else probably thought it was because of the funeral we just attended, but I knew why three of us were quiet. Matt, Brian, and myself all didn't want to say anything.

I could tell Brian was completely avoiding Matt and I.

He would go out of his way to get away from us, to make sure he wouldn't speak to us directly or indirectly.

I admit it that I should be treated like that, considering what I did, but it still hurt. I didn't like the fact that my best friend was avoiding me, hating me.

I could see it in his eyes.

He didn't want me around anymore, and I just wanted to go back to my own home. I just wanted to lay down in my own pitiful state.

I almost wanted to do what Brian had originally thought I had done, what Zacky had thought I done in high school.

I just wanted to all to end.

But I knew that wouldn't do anything for those people I left behind.

Emily wouldn't like it one bit, she'd cry just as much as she did for Mom. I couldn't, wouldn't leave Emily on purpose. I wasn't going to take the easy way out.

"Emma?"

I looked up, and I smiled weakly at Matt.

He looked terrible. I could tell that he was still freaking out on the inside. Matt might look threatening and tough on the outside, but he always was so sweet and caring.

I knew this couldn't be easy on him. He and Val had been together for so long.

"I think we should tell her now," Matt said.

I nodded.

Whenever Matt was ready, I was too. He was probably going to get a worse punishment than I was. All I probably had to do was stay here in Texas.

Matt was going to have the hard part.