Always There

It was a Wednesday morning. December 30th, 1998 to be exact, and Billie Joe Armstrong could be found walking down a busy New York City street wearing a winter coat with the hood pulled up over his head. The following night he'd be performing at MTV's New Year's Eve bash that would be hosted by the likes of Carson Daly, Ananda Lewis, Dave Holmes and Jennifer Love Hewitt. All of which he thought were fucking pricks. His wife, Adrienne, and their boys were back at the hotel room, probably hanging out with Mike's wife Anastacia and their daughter Estelle. He knew the guys had also gone out into the city in different directions to do a bit of window shopping and take in a bit of alone time.

Heading toward the fashion district, Billie Joe decided to pop into Macy's and maybe pick up something for Adrienne and the boys. Christmas had only been less than a week ago, but he had the money to spend on them. Stepping into the huge store, he pulled his hood down and unzipped the coat, stuffing his hands into his pockets.

He migrated past the perfume counters, dodging the women trying to spritz him with their fruity, overbearing scents, to the escalators which took him to the second level of the store, to the Women's Clothing. Billie Joe began to look over the many selections of blouses and dresses for his wife when he heard the chattering voice of a little girl nearby, followed by a deep, baritone one.

"I think mommy will like the pink dress 'cause it's pretty."

"You think so, huh?"

"Yup. And it's got flowers on it. Mommy likes flowers."

"Yes, but this isn't in season, Livvie. Let's look for something that's warmer. Like a nice black dress mommy can wear to a cocktail party."

"What's a cocktail?"

Billie Joe laughed, finally looking over to the duo. There was a man with a sandy blonde coif and dark brown eyes standing beside a little girl no older than five who hair wavy brown hair and light eyes. The Green Day frontman couldn't tell what color exactly. It was a toss up between blue, green and a light gray from where he was standing.

This 'Livvie' ended up scampering right by him to look at some black dresses on a rack only to scrunch her nose up and pout. "These aren't pretty," she complained.

"They don't have to be pretty. They should be elegant," the man amended, not even turning to look at her over his shoulder as he went about looking at some black dress hanging off a mannequin.

Billie Joe found this to be slightly irresponsible on the guy's part. It was obvious he wasn't Livvie's dad because they looked absolutely nothing alike each other, but he was clearly a stepfather or something because of the relationship they exuded. Stepping around to the rack Livvie was flipping through with her small hands, Billie Joe leaned over.

"I think the pink dress was pretty, too," he whispered.

Livvie turned and looked up at him with big green eyes and smiled a toothy grin. "Are you looking for a pretty dress for your mommy?"

Billie Joe laughed. "No. For my wife."

"What's her favorite color?"

"She likes a lot of colors."

"Then you should buy her a dress that looks like a rainbow. Rainbows got lotsa colors in 'em. My mommy says rainbows are like nature's smiling upside down. I told her it looks like nature is sad 'cause it's like this," she rambled giving him a frown to show what she was talking about.

"Yeah, it kinda looks like that, too."

"Do you have any kids?"

"I have two sons," Billie Joe replied, throwing a glance in the direction of the blonde guy who looked to be in his mid 30s. It drove him nuts that this schmuck wasn't paying this little girl no attention. Billie Joe could be a child molestor and kidnap her and the fucker would never notice.

"How old are they?"

"Three years old and three months."

"My mommy just had a baby. His name's Ben and he's six months old. I'm his big sister. What are your son's names?"

Damn, this girl was inquisitive. Didn't her oblivious stepdad hear her talking to some stranger, or hear him as well? "Uh, Joey and Jakob."

"I go to school with a Joey. But he's stupid."

"Livvie!" the stepdad finally called.

"What?"

"C'mon. I found a dress for your mother. Let's go buy this and then we can go to McDonalds."

"Okay, Mitch," Livvie called back. She looked up at Billie Joe and grabbed his hand and shook it. "Bye Mister." Skipping away, she found her way through the maze of clothing racks over to her stepdad, Mitch.

Billie Joe watched as the two of them walked away and headed to the nearest cashier. He just shook his head in amazement. Some people should just not be parents. That little girl was such a bright eyed, pleasant human being. And it was funny how she felt so comfortable talking to him, a stranger, as if they'd known each other for years.

* * *

Oh, fuck. He was so fucking drunk. He couldn't even play the song, that he fucking wrote, right. He knew he was strumming the chords pretty much on target and singing the right words, but everything seemed hazy. It was all dark except for the spotlights shining down on his head. He saw the blurry sea of bodies before him, singing along to 'Good Riddance (Time Of Your Life)' as he royally fucked up a few chords. He stopped playing, smiled drunkenly and swore on national television.

But what did Billie Joe care? He was so fucking drunk.

Afterward, he did a lame stage dive that looked more liked he passed out and the audience caught him. He couldn't even get back up onto his own two feet without them pushing him back onto the stage. He felt himself bouncing off the bodies of all the MTV hosts, being patted on the shoulder while smiling and looking down as he tried to focus through his inebriated haze. As the hosts were saying goodnight to at-home viewers, Billie Joe made his way along the stage until he reached the far side and threw his arms around some random guy, that worked for the station, who caught him.

Whatever happened next, Billie Joe has no recollection of, other than he woke up the following morning with a horrid hangover and lying face down, sideways on his hotel room floor.

The chipper sounds of his son Joey bounding into the room felt like ice picks piercing into his ears. Groaning, Billie Joe rolled over and looked up at the ceiling as he felt the bed jerk as Joey jumped onto the bed.

"Daddy, daddy, daddy!" Joey repeated as he leaned over his father's grimacing form.

"Joey! Leave your daddy alone. He's not feeling well," came Adrienne's voice. "Now, c'mon. Go watch some cartoons in the other room."

Billie Joe shifted his groggy eyes to see Joey lean down and hug him and then jump off the bed like a monkey on crack and run from the room like a bat out of hell. Then, the mattress sank again and this time Adi rubbed his shoulder soothingly.

"Good afternoon, sleepy," she greeted, leaning down to kiss him. Pushing some hair behind her ears, she leaned back up to stand beside the bed as Billie Joe gave a grunt and watched her twirl around a little. "I like the dress you got me. Not used to pink with flowers, but it's real pretty nonetheless."

Billie Joe allowed a smirk to creep across his face as he rubbed his forehead. "Yeah, well, glad you like it. I got some help from a, uh, youthful consultant."