Remodelling the Wreckage of My Past

We were now sitting in the hospital room. We had been sitting in there for at least two hours already and the visiting hours were over but we had insisted to stay with our son. Lyn was sitting on a plastic chair, holding Aiden’s hand while I was in the cafeteria, trying to find something to eat for Lyn.

During the whole flight she hadn’t let go of my hand once, the only time she finally let go of my hand was to hold Aiden’s. I had never seen her so broken. It hurt me to see her like this.

Matt had called Billy too, to let him now about Aiden and the fact that Adeline was back in town. I had called Nathalie, asking her where she had been when the whole thing happened. She had stayed over at her parents because the kids were getting on her nerves, I had tried my best not to yell at her, but I’ll be sure to have a few words with her when Aiden will be out.

I grabbed a bottle of coke and a bag of skittles before heading back to Aiden’s room. Cha drove Angelina to her and Zacky’s house so she could rest. Matt wanted to stay with his sister, but he had to go back home.

I crept into the room and walked behind Lyn, I rested one hand on her shoulder as I handed her the bottle of coke and the bag of Skittles. She whispered a quiet Thank you and I grabbed the nearest chair, pulling it next to Lyn’s chair. I wrapped my arm around her shoulder and brought her close to me, I knew she needed some comfort. She rested her head on my shoulder and sniffled, wiping her cheeks with her free hand, as the other was still holding Aiden’s.

“He’ll be okay Adeline. He will wake up. The doctors emptied his stomach from all the pills he had swallowed. He’ll be alright…” I whispered, lightly stroking her hair and resting my head on top of hers.

“I feel like it’s my fault. I know it’s not really my fault, but I still feel bad.” She said, her eyes closed. “I should have stayed here instead of throwing a tantrum and going back to Baltimore when Aiden needed me… I’m a bad mother, but I’ll do everything I can to make it better. If he ever woke up.” She trailed off.

“Lyn, he will wake up. He’s strong, he might need rest but he’ll get better as soon as he will saw you here. He loves you Lyn, he knows he fucked up, but he tried to get better, not only for you, but for everyone else and himself included.”

“Yeah, and look at the results, he’s laying on that thing they call a bed. My son! My first child nearly died.” She mumbled, squeezing Aiden’s hand. She wiped her tears and sat up straight. She brushed Aiden’s hair out of his eyes and got up a little, just enough for her to kiss his forehead before she sat back down.

“There’s an other bed in the room…” she said, “You should try and get some sleep.” She added, looking at me. “I asked the nurse if we could.”

I nodded slowly and went over to pick up my bag from the corner. I headed to the small bathroom and when I got out, Lyn was still in the same position, her eyes scanning Aiden’s face, waiting for any sign that could show that he was going to wake up. But he wasn’t going to wake up until the next morning.

I walked over to her and pressed my lip against her forehead before I got under the covers in the other bed. I rested my head on the pillow and watch as Lyn was still holding Aiden’s hand. The look on her face was heartbreaking. I hated seeing her like that. I sighed and got off the bed.

I bent down next to my bag and took out a T-shirt and a pair of shorts and my Ipod.

“Lyn, put that on.” I said as I put in her hand the two pieces of clothing.

“But Aiden…” I cut her off.

“Will not wake up until the next morning. You need some rest and so do I, but I won’t be able to sleep if you stay sitting here. So go change.” I said and ushered her in the bathroom.

I sat on the bed waiting for her to come back. She appeared about a minute later and smiled sadly at me before she dropped her clothes on top of my bag and made her way to Aiden’s bed as I was lying down.

“I love you Aiden, please wake up.” She whispered as she kissed his forehead and then headed to the bed. She slowly got under the covers. It was uncomfortable and weird because she was trying to keep a distance between us. I sighed and wrapped my arm around her waist, pulling her close. She looked up at me.

“It’s a freaking small bed Lyn and you are cold so don’t argue and just sleep.” I said, kissing her forehead and closing my eyes, trying to show the example. She chuckled and kissed my cheek before she made herself comfortable and rested her head on my chest, sighing softly. I smiled and held out my hand, taking the Ipod from the bedside table. I put it in her hand.

“I knew you would like some music, I made sure I have some Good Charlotte’s stuff.” I said as she starred at it.

“Do you have Green Day and your stuff on it?” she asked, looking up at me.

“Huh, yeah I think so.”

She smiled and hugged me.
“Thank you Brian.”

“For what? I just let you borrow my Ipod, it’s no big deal.” I replied.

“For staying with me tonight.” She replied and put the earphones in her ears, cutting the conversation short. I didn’t say anything, she wasn’t going to hear me.

She was looking through the songs until she settled on one and I heard her sighed. I looked at the song and saw that it was ‘Seize the Day’. I wrapped my arms tighter around her and closed my eyes, slowly drifting off to sleep.

**

Lyn was back in her chair, holding Aiden’s hand while I was back into the cafeteria, about to buy the third bottle of Coke and the fifth bag of skittles of the morning and it wasn’t even 11 am yet but Angelina was here too, and she was on the same diet as her mother.

I was in the corridor, on my way back to Aiden’s room when I bumped into Billy and the guys that had come to visit Aiden. I entered in the room first and as soon as she saw me, Lyn jumped off her sit and ran to me. She wrapped her arms around my neck and held me tight, almost breaking my bones.

“He’s awake, he’s awake, he’s awake!” she said, tears of joy rolling down her cheeks as she finally let go of me and ran back to her son. She held his hand and brushed the hair out of his eyes before she looked up at me and smiled.

“Man, you scared us.” Said Billy, as he went to knelled down next to Lyn, kissing her cheek and resting his hand on her thigh. She smiled, pecked his lips and then focused back on Aiden.

“Is he awake yet?” asked Nathalie as she made her way into the already crowded room. I pecked her lips.

“He just woke up.” Said Lyn, not even looking up. Aiden turned his head slowly and look at me. I smiled at him and walked over to him, I kissed his forehead.

“Everyone, except for the parents and sisters, out of the room please. This young man needs rest.” Said the nurse as she came in to check on Aiden.

“Aiden?”

Aiden slowly turned his head to see his little sister looking at him with her eyes wide. Billy sat her on his mattress.

“You okay?” she asked in a whisper, her eyes whelming up. “Did you try to die?”

“Celia, Aiden didn’t try to kill himself. It’s the pills the doctor gave him. They were experimental and quite dangerous. But your brother is going to be alright and soon he will be able to go and make sandcastles with you. But for now, he needs to sleep, okay?” I asked, smiling at Celia.

She nodded slowly before she wrapped her arms around Aiden’s torso.
“I love you Aiden!” she said and let go of him. She jumped on the floor and ran to her mother. Lyn was looking at me, ‘Thank you’ she mouthed and I just smiled. I turned around and walked out of the room. I assumed that now that Billy was here, Lyn was going to be okay without me.