Remodelling the Wreckage of My Past

I nearly ran out of the car and into the studio. I mean, I hadn’t seen Billy since the argument, we had only talk through the phone.

I swung the door opened and hurried to the main room where they’d probably be lounging. Doing nothing and calling it ‘hard day of working on the new album’.

“Hey ya folks!” I said, bursting through the room and scarring Benji off his sit.

“Jeez Billy, your woman is mental.” He mumbled as he took my outstretched hand and got back on his feet.

“Yeah, love you too Benji.” I said as I hugged him and then walked straight over to Billy. I just couldn’t stand it when we had an argument, and it didn’t happen often. I wrapped my arms around his neck and pecked his lips, smiling. He smiled and wrapped his arms around my waist, bringing me closer to him.

“Hey guys.”

Billy’s head snapped in direction of the doorway and he narrowed his eyes.
“Hi Gates…” he said coldly as he saw Celia gripping Brian’s hand.

“Daddy!” she squealed, letting go of Brian and running to Billy. He picked her up and she wrapped her arms around his neck.

“Miss you Daddy!” she said. I smiled and then greeted the rest of the boys. I sat down on the couch while Aiden and Angelina were doing their weird handshake with Benji and Joel. Brian was talking to Billy, while Celia was still in Billy’s arms. Billy seemed to relax a little and even smiled at Brian.

What was wrong with Billy, seriously? He should trust me! Nothing’s going to happen between me and Brian! At least not while his whore is around.

I gasped.

I didn’t not just thought what I think I thought, right?

“Mum, are you alright?” asked Aiden, looking at me, obviously worried.

“I… yeah! Don’t worry, it’s nothing…” I said, frowning. Keep your head out of the gutter Lyn, for fuck sake!

“So, did you came to drop my girls off?” asked Billy as he and Brian sat down on each side of the couch, trapping me between them. Billy pulled me on his lap.

“Nah, we just stopped to say ‘hi’, we’re off to see the girls at the studio afterwards.” I said.

“Oh…” mumbled Billy, obviously disappointed. “I thought you might stay here in L.A or something…”

“Nah, we can’t Brian is going to buy me ice cream and purple socks.” Said Celia. I glared at her.

“We’ll come and stay the week end, with you, okay? I’ll drop the twins at my parents’ house so you and Nat can have some alone time together, okay?” I asked, looking at Brian.

“Sure, sounds good.” He said with a nod. I smiled and rested my head against Billy’s shoulder. He encircled my waist with his arms and pulled me even closer to his chest. He never acted this way before, the way he was looking at Brian screamed: “Back off, she’s mine.”

And that was really getting on my nerves.

It was the first time I had ever seen him acting this way, not even when Benji was drunk off his ass and tried to kiss me, and was flirting with me… Billy just laughed. But now, Brian was sitting opposite us, and still Billy was being, I dunno, possessive?
Yeah, that could be it…

Well, I got news for you, I am not a thing you can possess.

“Guys, we’re leaving!” I said as I got up from Billy’s lap.

“Already?” he asked, I thought it would have been Brian to ask that but no, it was Billy. Brian was already up and near the door, with Celia, Aiden and Angelina. I turned to face Billy.

“Listen Billy, I don’t like the way you are acting… Just tell me if there’s a problem, don’t keep it for yourself like that! Just fucking say it…” I said.

“Where’s your crutch?” he asked. Okay…

“Bye guys.” I called, waving at them as I made my way out of the studio, not even glancing at Billy or Brian on my way out.
I felt a hand on my shoulder, I half expected it to belong to Billy…

I turned around and saw Aiden. He pulled me in a hug,
“It’s okay, Mum… he doesn’t worth it…” he whispered. Then quickly added, “I mean it in the: ‘don’t worry he didn’t mean it’ kind of way…”

“Thanks Aiden…” I whispered. “Let’s just forget about it…” I mumbled.

“Exactly, and if you’re nice, I’ll buy you ice cream.” added Aiden as we pulled away from the hug. I raised an eyebrow.

“Where are you going to find the money?” I asked.

“Your wallet?” he said/ask. I laughed.

“Nice, thanks Aiden!” I said laughing and then stumbled my way back to the car.

“Billy was right though, you should use your crutch.” He said as he opened the door for me.

“Thanks Aiden.” I said, he just grinned at me and closed the door just as Brian, Celia and a pissed off looking Angelina walked out of the studio.

She got in the car and slammed the door.

“Angelina, please…” I whispered.

“Okay, let’s see what going on with Perfect Nightmare, okay?” said Brian as he started the engine. That was something I had always appreciated about Brian, he knew when to shut his mouth and not ask any questions. He turned up the volume and changed the song to When I Come Around.

**

We all got out of Brian’s car and slowly made our way into the Perfect Nightmare’s studio. I stopped a little in front of the door, wondering if it was a good idea for me to go in there.

“You okay?” asked Aiden as Angelina, Celia and Brian were already inside.

“Yeah… I’m fine. It’s just, I wonder if it is such a good idea for me to go in there…” I mumbled but walked inside anyway. Aiden stayed by my side as we entered the main room where Ash, Cha, and Jess were sitting in the couches, listening as Nat was recording some tracks.

I should be in the booth, not her.

“Brian!” she squealed, completely ruining the song she was in the middle of recording just a few seconds ago.

Brian waved at her, smiling. Ash jumped off her sit and ran to me, squeezing me in a hug.
“Lyn, are you here to record some stuff and save us from this massacre?” she whispered in my ear, while hugging me. I laughed.

“Nah, I just came to say Hi!” I explained hugging one of my best friends. She pouted and then rolled her eyes as she saw Nat, still in the sound booth, waving at Brian. I chuckled as I saw my best friends’ expressions. They looked bored.

“So, how is it going?” I asked as I walked over to them.

“Ho-fucking-rible, like we’ve been trying to record the lyrics for this song for about an hour and she still can’t get it right.” Explained Cha with a bored tone as she was lightly strumming on an acoustic guitar. I smiled and shoved my hands in my pocket, looking around the studio. I recorded my first song ever right there. It felt weird to be back.
My eyes fell on the collections of guitar that was hanging off the wall and my eyes widened. I quickly took my hands out of my pockets and stumbled my way over to the guitar. I took the acoustic guitar off the wall and put the strap over my shoulder, not paying attention to my cast or the fact that Nat had gotten out of the sound booth and was sucking face with Brian.

“Misfit…” I whispered lovingly while I placed my hand on the neck of the guitar and with the other hand, I started strumming lightly, humming to myself.

“Mum, is that your guitar?” asked Angelina, from her sit on the couch.

I shook my head and stumbled my way back over to them.
“That’s Cha’s first acoustic guitar. My favorite ever.” I explained, still strumming lightly.

“Mummy? Can you play something?” asked Celia, perched on Aiden’s lap. From the corner of my eyes, I noticed Brian and Nat still sucking face so I decided that it was safe to play. Nat was too busy to care.

Angelina got up and pulled out a chair from the corner, she placed it in front of everyone and I sat down shyly. I placed the guitar on my lap and Cha threw me a pick. I caught it and starred at Aiden, wondering what I was supposed to play. It would be the first time in a while that I’d play and I was afraid I was going to mess up.

Finally, after a few seconds, I placed my fingers on the neck and held the pick between my fingers. I took a deep breath and started strumming. I tried to focus on the song, and not the people around me.

“An other turning point, a fork stuck in the road. Time grabs you by the wrist directs you where to go, so make the best of this test and don’t ask why… It’s not a question but a lesson learn in time, it’s something unpredictable but at the end it’s right, I hope you had the time of your life…” I sang softly, keeping all my attention on the lyrics and the cords, trying not to mess the song.

“I’ve never been able to play this song. It’s complicated…” said Nat, breaking the silence.

I stopped playing, looking down at my lap.
“For Christ sake! You could have waited before saying something so useless! Mum was fucking playing! You can’t even play guitar, Mum can so let her play!” said Aiden, glaring at Nat.

“Aiden…” I said in a warning tone. Last thing I needed was Aiden blowing off at Nat right there in front of his father and my friends.

“I was just saying that this song is boring, I have no problem with Lyn playing, it’s just the song she’s playing.” She said. I opened my mouth to tell her to get fucked but Brian beat me to it.

“Listen Nat, you and I both know you don’t have the greatest taste in music. This song is great. You just don’t like it. But I like the song, and everyone else here does to.” He said calmly, looking at her. She huffed and walked out of the room. I raised an eyebrow, and Brian just threw his arms in the air and walked out of the room too, following his fiancé.

“Okay…” I said slowly.

“She doesn’t like to be contradict, ya know… and Brian just took your side instead of hers… She’s going to pout and sulk for a few minutes while Brian is going to be begging for her forgiveness. Then they are going to kiss and make up.” Explained Jess, rolling her eyes.

“You sure you don’t want to join the band again?” asked Ash, with a hopeful look on her face. I shook my head.

“Nope, I won’t come back girls. Me and Nat in the band, it’s going to be World War III, and if you kick Nat out of the band, everyone is going to put the blame on me, I don’t need that.” I said, getting up and heading back towards the wall to hang the guitar.

“Mummy, can you play an other song?” asked Celia.

“I’m sorry sweetie. But another day, okay?” she nodded.

“Lyn?”

I turned around and saw Brian standing in the doorway, rubbing his neck.
“I’m going to take Nat out to have dinner and stuff. Do you want me to drive you back home?” he asked.

I shook my head, “No it’s okay, go ahead.”

“You can’t drive with your cast…” he said.

“I can drive!” said Aiden, I shook my head.

“You don’t have your license with you and Brian won’t let you drive his car.” I said and Brian nodded.

“It’s okay, we can drive them back to the studio. I need to lay down some more riffs and then we’ll head back home, they can hang out with us. How does it sound to you?” asked Cha.

“Sure, let’s do that.” I said with a nod.

“You sure you don’t mind?” asked Brian, looking at me, then at Aiden and then back at me.

“Sure, just go already. Nat is probably waiting for you in the car.” I said and waved at him. He sighed, ran a hand through his hair and walked out of the room and off the studio.

Ash clapped her hands together,
“Now that the whore is gone, let’s jam!” she yelled and ran to her drums kit.