If You Seek Amy
Amy's POV
The house was clean, dinner had been eaten, and my siblings were on their way to Dream Land. My house was quiet for a change.
Sometimes it got too hard to be a mother, father, and sister. All Mom ever did was chain smoke and give me money for groceries. Dad had long been in jail for beating the shit out of all of us in a drunken rage when I was twelve.
I needed to go to college, and with my grades, I could at least earn a partial scholarship. But what would happen to Jamie, Karly, and Cayson? Jamie was only fourteen--I couldn't pass on the responsibility to her just yet.
But lately, it was just too hard to care. No one talked to me anymore and more and more people were rejecting me.
A clang at the door made my heart jump and my thoughts dissolve. It was only the mail slot being opened, but who would leave us mail at eleven PM on a Thursday? I tiptoed to the window and peeked outside. No one was there. Cautiously, I opened the door and lifted the mail slot.
A jewel case sat inside. I pulled it out and studied the cover. An old picture of me and Malon, a long-lost friend of mine, covered the front. I opened the case, then sprinted inside to hear what was on the CD.
The CD slid into my stereo, my butt slid into my rolling chair. Soft guitar and piano filled my room before Malon's raspy-sweet voice began to sing. The cover had a note scrawled on its back...
Dear Amy,
Every word of every song is true. I love you, Amy Hayden, and I have for years. Please come back into my life. Let me hold you and kiss your pain away. Don't leave me again.
Love, Malon.
I reread the note and listened to the CD until it skipped to its end.
It was true. I ignored who cared and fucked who would share. My eyes burned with tears and my fingers jammed into my pocket for those six, smooth, white tablets. I clutched them while I snuck into each of my siblings' rooms and kissed them. I clutched them while I wrote how I felt. I clutched them while I ran water into a Dixie paper cup. I let them go in between my lips and waited to let go of my pain.
Sometimes it got too hard to be a mother, father, and sister. All Mom ever did was chain smoke and give me money for groceries. Dad had long been in jail for beating the shit out of all of us in a drunken rage when I was twelve.
I needed to go to college, and with my grades, I could at least earn a partial scholarship. But what would happen to Jamie, Karly, and Cayson? Jamie was only fourteen--I couldn't pass on the responsibility to her just yet.
But lately, it was just too hard to care. No one talked to me anymore and more and more people were rejecting me.
A clang at the door made my heart jump and my thoughts dissolve. It was only the mail slot being opened, but who would leave us mail at eleven PM on a Thursday? I tiptoed to the window and peeked outside. No one was there. Cautiously, I opened the door and lifted the mail slot.
A jewel case sat inside. I pulled it out and studied the cover. An old picture of me and Malon, a long-lost friend of mine, covered the front. I opened the case, then sprinted inside to hear what was on the CD.
The CD slid into my stereo, my butt slid into my rolling chair. Soft guitar and piano filled my room before Malon's raspy-sweet voice began to sing. The cover had a note scrawled on its back...
Dear Amy,
Every word of every song is true. I love you, Amy Hayden, and I have for years. Please come back into my life. Let me hold you and kiss your pain away. Don't leave me again.
Love, Malon.
I reread the note and listened to the CD until it skipped to its end.
It was true. I ignored who cared and fucked who would share. My eyes burned with tears and my fingers jammed into my pocket for those six, smooth, white tablets. I clutched them while I snuck into each of my siblings' rooms and kissed them. I clutched them while I wrote how I felt. I clutched them while I ran water into a Dixie paper cup. I let them go in between my lips and waited to let go of my pain.