Sequel: We Gamble With Desire ›
Status: Complete ; Sequel soonish <3
Have You Seen This Girl
008.
Alex's POV
It was an entire week later, I still hadn’t moved on. She haunted my thoughts. No matter what I did, how drunk I got all I could think of was Spencer.
“Alex, we’re cutting you off.” Rian stated with Jack and Zack flanking him. “You’ve had way too much to drink. Tomorrow’s going to be hell for you.”
“No. I can control myself.” I said angrily.
“No, you can’t you’re a mess.” He said clearly, trying not to anger me any farther. “I can’t stand to see you like this. You barely get any better before you go onstage so you can actually play. Then once we’re off you’re either fucking some groupie or back with the bottle. It’s not healthy.”
“Dude, just leave me alone. I can take care of myself, I’m not affecting anything with what I’m doing.”
“Yes you are.” Jack said quietly.
“Who then Jack? Who the fuck am I affecting?” I yelled at him.
“Dude, calm yourself down. You don’t have to yell at him.” Zack said protectively.
“Sorry.” I grumbled.
“It’s fine.” Jack responded sadly.
“Well, who am I affecting exactly?” I said my anger returning. “I play every song
just as we wrote them, I don’t fuck them up or play my parts wrong. Then I come in here and leave everyone else to their fun. How can I be affecting anyone?” I stopped myself as I realized I started yelling again.
“Alex, it’s just…you’re not yourself anymore. All of our fans have noticed. You don’t joke around much anymore. You barely smile. You don’t go out to see our fans. You don’t post any new anything for them to read. All they see of you is your moping.” Rian said pointedly.
“It’s like you’re there but you’re not.” Zack offered.
“What does that mean?”
“It means you show up. But you’re not really there. There’s just your body, no
more actual Alex.” Rian explained.
“Well how can I stop? No matter what I do I feel pain, but I feel the least like this. I can’t go a moment without thinking of her. I don’t fucking know why either! I knew her for less than a day, and we were less than close. She was just different...I, I just need her back.”
“Well then that’s what we’re going to do. For you, for us for our fans.” Jack said empowered.
“If it was that easy don’t you think I would’ve already done it Jack-o?” I said softly.
“Well before now, you’ve only been thinking as one, as a drunken mess.” Zack said laughing.
“Yeah, maybe we can help dude.” Rian said squeezing my shoulder.
“But how? We don’t know anything about her except her name, Spencer. And where she’s from.” I said depressed.
“Well fuck it’s a start, there can’t be very many girl Spencer’s up in bumfuck Wisconsin that look just like her.” Zack pointed out.
“Don’t you think I’ve already tried that?”
“Well, now you have all of us." Jack said grabbing his laptop and plopping down beside me.
It was an entire week later, I still hadn’t moved on. She haunted my thoughts. No matter what I did, how drunk I got all I could think of was Spencer.
“Alex, we’re cutting you off.” Rian stated with Jack and Zack flanking him. “You’ve had way too much to drink. Tomorrow’s going to be hell for you.”
“No. I can control myself.” I said angrily.
“No, you can’t you’re a mess.” He said clearly, trying not to anger me any farther. “I can’t stand to see you like this. You barely get any better before you go onstage so you can actually play. Then once we’re off you’re either fucking some groupie or back with the bottle. It’s not healthy.”
“Dude, just leave me alone. I can take care of myself, I’m not affecting anything with what I’m doing.”
“Yes you are.” Jack said quietly.
“Who then Jack? Who the fuck am I affecting?” I yelled at him.
“Dude, calm yourself down. You don’t have to yell at him.” Zack said protectively.
“Sorry.” I grumbled.
“It’s fine.” Jack responded sadly.
“Well, who am I affecting exactly?” I said my anger returning. “I play every song
just as we wrote them, I don’t fuck them up or play my parts wrong. Then I come in here and leave everyone else to their fun. How can I be affecting anyone?” I stopped myself as I realized I started yelling again.
“Alex, it’s just…you’re not yourself anymore. All of our fans have noticed. You don’t joke around much anymore. You barely smile. You don’t go out to see our fans. You don’t post any new anything for them to read. All they see of you is your moping.” Rian said pointedly.
“It’s like you’re there but you’re not.” Zack offered.
“What does that mean?”
“It means you show up. But you’re not really there. There’s just your body, no
more actual Alex.” Rian explained.
“Well how can I stop? No matter what I do I feel pain, but I feel the least like this. I can’t go a moment without thinking of her. I don’t fucking know why either! I knew her for less than a day, and we were less than close. She was just different...I, I just need her back.”
“Well then that’s what we’re going to do. For you, for us for our fans.” Jack said empowered.
“If it was that easy don’t you think I would’ve already done it Jack-o?” I said softly.
“Well before now, you’ve only been thinking as one, as a drunken mess.” Zack said laughing.
“Yeah, maybe we can help dude.” Rian said squeezing my shoulder.
“But how? We don’t know anything about her except her name, Spencer. And where she’s from.” I said depressed.
“Well fuck it’s a start, there can’t be very many girl Spencer’s up in bumfuck Wisconsin that look just like her.” Zack pointed out.
“Don’t you think I’ve already tried that?”
“Well, now you have all of us." Jack said grabbing his laptop and plopping down beside me.