Trust Me

BOBS POV.

I stood backstage watching Ray tune his guitar and a huge wave of realization hit me, I couldn't do this. We had only ten minutes until we were on and I was so nervous. Ray asked me if something was wrong.

"I can't do this." I managed out before practically falling on him and hugging him. He held me tight and stroked my short hair to try and soothe me.

"You've played a million shows before, what makes this one so bad?" he asked.

"What if they preferred Lauren and don't want me back?" I said.

"Don't be stupid! Lauren was great to cover for you but the fans love you! Get out there and play!" He smiled and I tried to smile but my face had frozen out of nerves.

"I'm really scared," I basically whispered.

"Don't be, when your out there if your scared just...." He stopped.

"Just what?" I asked, wanting to know what I was meant to do.

"Shh listen!" he was excitedly. I could hear the crowd chanting. They always chant 'MCR MCR' before we come on but as I listened that wasn't what I heard.

"WE WANT BOB! WE WANT BOB!" they were chanting. Ray grinned hugely.

"See they do love you now go and get your drumsticks come on or we'll be late." I kissed him quickly and ran off the find my drumsticks, wherever I had left them earlier.

Lauren was staying for this show and would be watching from the side of the stage in case I felt too ill to finish the set. Just a precaution but it is better to be safe then sorry and end up with no drummer halfway through a show.

The crowd were chanting louder and Gee got onto his stretcher ready to be wheeled out to open the show. I ran around the back of the stage and climbed up the back of my drum riser. The lights were all out and the crowd going wild. I sat down on the drum stool and my nerves vanished, I felt completely at ease.

"Now come one, come all to this tragic affair..." Gee opened 'The end' and Ray strummed his guitar softly along to it.

"I'd encourage your smiles, I'd expect you wont cry!" I started to play and as the lights all lit up and the curtains were pulled back, the crowd screamed louder then ever.

We played the entire 'Black Parade' album and then ran offstage to get changed quickly. I tore off my jacket which was now far too big for me anyway and changed my shirt quickly as well because it was all sweaty and gross. I noticed the second my shirt had come over my head everyone went very quiet and stared at my bare torso and it made me feel so uncomfortable.

"Bob when did you last...." Started Frank.

"Eat something and not make yourself sick afterward?" finished Ray. He snatched the shirt off me that I was trying to put on and they all stared at me.

Shit. He knew about the making myself puke. I need to think of some other way but how...?

"This isn't the time or place," said Ray, caving in and handing me back the shirt which I hurriedly put on.

"Yeah we are all going to have a discussion about this later Bob," said Mikey seriously.

"Ooh a discussion, what are you my mother?" I laughed but no one laughed with me.

"No I think he's serious, this is your life we are talking about here!" said Gee, halfway in and halfway out of a pair of skinny jeans.

"OK fine but there's nothing to discuss," I insisted as the guy came to tell us to get our asses back onstage as soon as possible. I stormed out of the room and down the hallway back towards the stage.

We played 'I'm not Okay' and I went seriously wild on my drum kit. I saw Ray and Frank both look at me in amazement as I started to put in loads of extra drum fills. I just grinned and carried on.

By the end of 'cemetery drive' which was two songs after 'I'm not Okay' I was starting to feel ill. My arms were starting to feel heavy and shaky and I was feeling dizzy. Thankfully at the end of the song Gee gave me a reason to stop playing when he started to talk to the crowd.

"Hello mother fuckers!" he screamed and the crowd screamed right back at him.

"How are we all tonight?" more screams.

"I think you have all noticed my best buddy Bob is back up there on the drums where he belongs!" Even louder screams.

"How about he comes down here and talks to you all?" Even with my ear plugs I was still almost deafened by the noise of the crowd. Gee looked at me, smirking, and I frantically shook my head.

"Yeah come on Bob come and say hello to all the people!" screamed Frank into his own mic. I shot him a death glare.

"Yeah everybody join in now... one, two, three, we want Bob! We want Bob!" started Ray and everyone joined in. I resigned and stood up from my drum stool and clambered down the back. I took my sticks with me and walked round to the front of the stage, past Ray who gave me a big smile which I did not return. I hate talking to people let alone thousands of them at once.

I walked over to Gee and he offered me the mic. I threw my drumsticks into the crowd and the people near where they went screamed and fought for them. I took the mic from Gee.

"Uh.... hi hows it goin'?" I said nervously and they all screamed.

"People in the back HOWS IT GOING'!" I said into the mic, louder now, with more confidence.

Everyone screamed louder. I talked to them for a few minutes about some random stuff and then walked over to Gee who was stood at the side of the stage with Frankie and handed him back the mic. I wish he hadn't made me do that.

I climbed back up onto the drums but started to feel too dizzy. I grabbed my head and as Gee looked back to check on me he noticed and came over.

"Bob you alright?" he asked, calling from the stage floor in front of my drum riser.

"Yeah fine lets just get this over with, how many songs left?"

"Just this next one, Give em hell kid, then Ghost of you and Helena so that's three"

"Can we play our lady of sorrows instead of Give em hell kid?" I asked, really not wanting to play that song, I cant explain why but I just didn't feel like it tonight.

"Yeah sure." He nodded and ran around to the other guys to tell them the change of plan. We played Our lady of sorrows and the ghost of you perfectly. Ray kept looking back at me to check I was alright and I was grateful for him caring at that time.

By the time we finished 'Helena' I felt like I was going to pass out. I jumped down off the back of my drum riser and threw my last pair of sticks into the crowd as I ran past. I got backstage and let myself fall onto one of the couches in the room we had all used earlier.

I shut my eyes and lay there for a moment just getting my breath back and steadying myself. Somebody crawled on top of me and my eyes snapped open. It was only a very sweaty looking Ray.

"Hey you scared me for a second then." I grinned.

"Who did you think I was?" he asked.

"I dunno some crazy rapist," I smirked.

"And who says I'm not?" he said seductively.

"I say! And you can't rape the willing," I said pulling him into a kiss.

We kissed for a few minutes until we heard hammering on the door. We broke apart and sighed. Ray got up and opened the door whilst I returned to my blissful state of near sleep.

I heard the other guys come in and them all talking and laughing. It all sounded really quiet and then I realized I hadn't taken out my ear plugs. Dumbass. I took them out and sat up slowly to make sure I didn't feel dizzy again.

"Alright It's time for our little talk with you Bob," said Mikey. They all sat down on the couches and looked at me expectantly.

"Bob what are we going to do to help you through this?" said Frankie.

"I don't know, I really don't know."

[A/N Sorry to leave you like that but I'm going away for 5 days and will be back on Thursday night. I will update on Friday, please comment!!! Alex x.o.x.o <3]